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 Exciting Game

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Fairy_Kisses82
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PostSubject: Exciting Game   Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:06 am

Chapter one


“Whew, what a crazy day,” Kris hummed as he walked into the room that he and Adam shared.

Adam yawned. “Yeah, this whole thing is just crazy. I can’t believe how busy we are all the time,” he said as he lay down over his bed.

Kris plopped on to his bed, next to Adam’s. “It’s great though. Who would’ve thought? We’re on American Idol, man.” He smiled and ran a hand through his soft spiky hair.

“It’s amazing. What an experience,” Adam agreed, looking over to smile back at Kris.

Their eyes locked for a brief second, and Kris looked away shyly. “Yeah,” he agreed. Adam smiled again.

Kris had been doing this for a couple weeks; he didn't know why eye contact with Adam made him so uncomfortable. It felt sort of intense, and he could never meet Adam’s eyes for too long. It was almost like staring at the sun.

Adam leaned over to pull his laptop from the table onto his lap. Kris sat on his bed, untying his shoes as Adam started clicking around.

“So, my friends told me to google myself…” he began with a laugh.

“Are you serious? You really googled yourself?” Kris asked. Almost everyone he knew had warned him about it, told him not to.

Adam paused, looking at the computer. “I think I may get voted off soon,” he finally said, biting his lip with a small smile and keeping his eyes on the screen.

“What? Why?” Kris sat up and craned his neck, trying to get a glimpse of what Adam was looking at.

“Some pictures of me on the internet,” Adam said, turning his eyes to Kris.

Kris’s eyes and widened and his mouth hung open dumbly. “Like what? Naked pictures?” he asked, shocked.

Adam burst out laughing. “No, no! Not like that. They’re just… well,” he said, giggling still.

“Just what?” Kris asked, trying not to sound so curious.

“Well… are you sure you want to know?” Adam smirked with amusement and lifted his eyebrows, still looking at Kris to judge his response.

“As long as it’s not you naked or something, man,” Kris said, laughing. “What is it?” He got up and walked over to Adam’s bed, placing his hand on Adam’s headrest.

“Okay,” Adam said, smirking. He typed “adam lambert” into the Google image search.

Several pictures of Adam performing on American Idol loaded, and Kris looked at each, waiting to see something out of place. Then a few more loaded.

“Woah,” Kris said with a laugh, taking a step back. “Is that you?”

Adam just laughed and scratched at his forehead. The pictures were of Adam kissing another man.

“Okay, okay,” Kris said, laughing with Adam. He tried not to stare at the pictures, but his eyes were still fixed on the screen. “So you’re gay, big deal. Now I bet America’s probably gonna make a big thing about it…”

He’d known already that Adam was gay, he could sort of tell, but seeing pictures of it was something else. Adam closed the internet browser and Kris asked, “Do those pictures bother you?”

“Of course not,” Adam giggled. “That’s just me. I mean, I don’t need to hide who I am, that’s just… who I am! Yeah it’ll suck if America freaks out about this, though.”

He sighed, and then pointed up to Kris’ face “I’m a little surprised you’re not,” he stated.

Kris chuckled again. “What? Why would I freak out?”

“I just thought you may not be as accepting since you’re Christian,” Adam said, still looking up.

“No way, man. Love is love, you know?”

“Totally,” Adam said with an enthusiastic smile, obviously very pleased that Kris saw things his way. They stayed in that position for a few seconds; Kris standing by Adam’s headrest smiling uncomfortably, and Adam beaming up at him.

After a short—and slightly awkward—silence, Kris walked a few steps to sit back on his bed. He leaned back on his elbows. “So you were like, really great tonight,” he said, changing the subject.

“Thanks! You were, too!” Adam said sincerely. “Everyone here is just so talented.”

“Yeah, but seriously,” Kris said again. “That version of Ring of Fire blew my mind. You’re so freakin’ like… creative!”

“I really loved it too,” Adam said, grinning. “I loved the judges’ reactions.” He let his jaw drop into a surprised face to mimic them, and then laughed.

“How do you perform like that, man? It’s so incredible, and like…” Kris trailed off, looking at Adam in wonder.

“Like what?” Adam asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“I dunno, like it’s weird to say. But kind of like… sexy. How do you do that?”

Both men fell into laughter. Kris put his hand over his cheek. “Sorry, man, I had to ask!”

“Well I don’t know, it just comes natural to me!” Adam said, in between laughing fits. “But I’m flattered you said that, though. I love it when people think my music is sexy!”

Kris was still laughing when Anoop’s head suddenly appeared in the doorway, and he knocked twice on the inside of their open door. “Guys, you’re having way too much fun in here. We all need to sleep,” he said, chuckling at the sight of them.

“Right, sorry,” Adam said, still laughing slightly. “We’ll go to sleep now.” He looked at Kris. “You ready for bed?”

“Absolutely,” Kris said lazily, stretching his arms.

Anoop left, and Adam walked to the light switch to flick it off before climbing under his sheets.

“Gooood-night,” he hummed.

“Night, Adam,” Kris replied.

Fifteen minutes slowly passed, and Kris was still awake. He usually didn’t have any trouble falling asleep, but his eyes wouldn’t stay closed. Adam shifted in his bed and turned over with a quiet sigh. Kris wondered if he was having trouble sleeping, too.

“You still awake?” Kris whispered, soft enough so it wouldn’t wake Adam if he actually was asleep.

“Yeah,” Adam said quietly, surprised. “You can’t fall asleep?”

“I guess not,” Kris said. He was just as surprised as Adam was; he never had a hard time getting to sleep. “What about you?”

“It’s normal for me,” said Adam with a smile. “I usually don’t fall asleep for a while. I don’t know why.”

“Aw, that sucks, man.”

Kris sighed sleepily and Adam looked over at him, thinking. “Do you get a lot of fan mail?” he asked suddenly.

“No, not really,” Kris responded, chuckling lightly at the random question. “Why?”

“Really? I bet you’ll get a ton of it soon.” Adam said, smiling.

Kris drew his eyebrows together. “Why do you say that?”

“You’re a good-looking guy. All the girls are gonna be crazy about you,” Adam giggled.

Kris let out a quiet, airy laugh. “Yeah, sure. Nothing like you, though. I bet you get mail from girls nonstop.”

“I get a little,” Adam said quietly, thinking. “You think I look good?”

“Well yeah, I mean, look at you,” Kris whispered, trying not to sound so serious. He didn’t want to give Adam the wrong idea.

“What about me?” Adam asked with a small smile.

Kris thought for a few seconds in silence. He looked down and laid his hand over his head. “Let’s not get weird,” he said finally, his voice amused.

“It’s not weird if you think a guy’s attractive,” Adam said. He sat up and propped his head up on his arm, making his sheet fall downwards a little, exposing some of his chest. He watched Kris closely to judge his reaction.

“Sure, I guess,” Kris said, his eyes falling onto Adam’s chest without his consent.

Adam ran his hand through his hair, very slowly, and let it travel down his neck, and trail over his chest, without much of a thought. Kris, almost fully under his covers and in the dark, assumed that Adam couldn’t see him watching. He couldn’t seem to look away.

Adam’s hand still wandered around over his chest and shoulders, slowly rubbing and circling. He moved around a little more deliberately now, and Kris still watched breathlessly.

“Am I freaking you out?” Adam asked quietly.

“A little.” Kris’ shaky voice was lower than a whisper.

“Sorry,” Adam said, letting his hand rest on the bed. More silence. “It’s what I do,” he added. “I’m good at freaking people out.”

Kris looked at Adam’s neutral expression before his gaze dropped to Adam’s chest again. “S’all right,” he said quietly after a few tense seconds passed.

“Hmm,” Adam replied as he lay back down. “Okay, I think I’ll go to bed now.”

“I thought you couldn’t sleep,” Kris said quickly. He hadn’t meant for it to sound like an objection, but it kind of did.

“We need to get up early tomorrow, so I need to sleep sometime,” Adam said, yawning.

“…All right, goodnight, man,” Kris said. He didn’t move from his position, but he let his eyes fall shut, vaguely wondering what the hell just happened.

-----

The next morning came too soon. Lil, Danny, and Anoop came to wake them up at the crack of dawn.

“C’mon!” Danny said, kicking Kris' bed. “You guys need to get up.”

Kris rubbed at his eyes and Adam groaned loudly. “Too early!” Kris grumbled.

Adam soon rolled out of bed, saying, “I gotta paint my nails so they have time to dry…”

The other three contestants in the room laughed together. “That’s the first thing that goes through your mind in the morning?” Anoop joked. “…Your nail polish? Really?”

Kris got out of bed, too. “Need to shower,” he said sleepily.

Adam walked to the bathroom to grab his nail polish, and Kris followed him in soon after.

“You wanna paint your nails, too?” Adam asked playfully. “You’d look so hot.”

Kris laughed, his eyes still half-closed with tiredness. “Yeah, I don’t think so.”

Adam laughed, too, unscrewing the cap to the bottle as he walked out of the bathroom. Kris closed the door behind him and turned the shower on before undressing. After a few minutes, Adam came back to knock on the bathroom door.

“Yeah?” Kris half-shouted over the sound of the shower.

“Can I come in for a sec?” Adam asked.

“Sure.”

Adam opened the bathroom door and put his bottle of nail polish down on the counter. He took out the polish-soaked brush and ran it over a fingernail.

“So…” the older man began. “I forgot to ask you this earlier.”

“What’s up?” Kris asked from the other side of the shower curtain. Talking to Adam like this was easier since he didn’t have to worry about eye contact.

Adam paused, and dipped the brush back into the bottle, examining his left hand at the same time. “Could you not tell anyone about last night?” he asked, just loud enough so Kris could hear.

“Sure, man,” Kris answered automatically, and then stopped. “Wait… what about last night?” Flashes of Adam the night before, shirtless and staring at him while his hands trailed over his own skin, flew back into Kris’ mind. His heart pounded a couple times.

“You know, those pictures I showed you. I just don’t want everyone looking at me differently,” Adam said.

“Oh,” Kris answered, relieved. “Yeah totally. That’s fine.”

A minute passed as the Kris rubbed shampoo into his hair and Adam finished painting the nails on his right hand. “How come you told me?” Kris eventually asked.

“I’m not sure,” Adam admitted honestly. “Not like I want to hide that I’m gay from everyone or anything like that. I just hope they don’t see the pictures and get freaked out about them.

Kris suddenly felt the need to reassure him. “You know I don’t look at you any different, right?”

“Aww, thanks!” Adam said, appreciatively. “Was it a big surprise to you, though?”

Kris thought for a second. “No, not really. I was more surprised at the pictures themselves, not at the fact that you like guys…” He trailed off. “Now that I know, it doesn’t seem too surprising.”

“Cool,” Adam said, and Kris jumped a little; Adam’s voice was a lot closer than it had been before.

“Yeah,” Kris added.

“Okay, I’ll get out of here before I stink up the whole room with this nail polish.” Adam said, and Kris could hear the smile in his voice. Adam screwed the cap shut, careful not to let anything touch his wet fingernails, and slowly opened the door.

“Okay,” Kris replied slowly, before he heard the door open and close with a thud. Surprisingly to himself, he suddenly felt very alone without Adam in the room.

A few minutes later, Kris turned the shower off and dried himself with a towel, before wrapping it around his waist. He was about to walk out, but he stopped in front of the mirror first. He fixed his hair around, putting a few strands in his face and spiking some of it a little. He wasn’t sure why, but he wanted to look good in front of Adam. He walked out of the bathroom without much of a second thought about it.

“Yo!” Adam cheered as Kris walked into the bedroom. He was dressed in a fancy black coat, and tight leather pants. Kris felt somewhat struck looking at him, like he was face to face with a gorgeous celebrity. He even blushed a little, before turning away so Adam wouldn’t see.

“You mind if I get dressed?” Kris asked, looking over at the wall. He turned back and caught Adam looking at his body. Adam looked away quickly, and Kris’ felt his face heating up again.

“Yeah, sure,” Adam said, smiling. “I’ll go do my hair.” He walked towards the bathroom, and Kris turned around to get another look at him. Surprisingly to them both, Adam had turned around at the same moment. Kris smiled awkwardly, but Adam deliberately let his eyes wander over Kris’ upper body for a brief second, before grinning back. He turned around and walked off, leaving Kris feeling frozen in place.

Things were going to be a little different now, Kris admitted to himself. Adam was joking around with him, pretend flirting. But he couldn’t help but to feel excited about it; he wanted to play along. He decided he would flirt back a little, too, as long as it doesn’t lead anywhere dangerous. As long as Adam didn’t get the wrong idea. Adam had let only him in on his secret, and Kris felt like he needed to prove that he wasn’t at all bothered by Adam’s orientation. And he could have fun with it, too, he decided.


Last edited by Fairy_Kisses82 on Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:08 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Exciting Game   Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:07 am

Chapter two


A few weeks passed of Adam throwing flirtatious glances at Kris when no one else was looking, and sometimes Kris would throw one back. It was a really exciting game that the two of them were playing, and it was even more exciting—even a little frightening—when they were alone in their room together. They’d silently dare each other to go farther. Kris always stopped before anything too weird happened, though.

It was mostly just a few looks between the two, nothing serious came out of it, and Kris didn’t expect anything to. He was married, after all. They did become closer; hugging more than necessary, being giddy around one another, and always talking and laughing. It was all a really fun experience for Kris, and he genuinely enjoyed being around Adam.

One night after a day of rehearsals and interviews, Kris fell into bed and kicked off his shoes. He watched the door, as he normally did, waiting for Adam to join him.

Adam danced into the room energetically. “Hey, you,” he said with a wink.

“Hey,” Kris said, obviously eyeing Adam up and down, smiling big so Adam would know it was a joke.

“Today was so fun!” Adam said, and spun in a circle, still dancing towards Kris’ bed.

Kris laughed while holding his sides. Adam was such a fun person, and he was always in a good mood. It was so easy to be around him. Adam plopped down on Kris’ bed and put his arm around the other man. Before Kris had a chance to say anything, Adam’s hand was stroking his chest over his shirt.

“Hmm,” Adam smiled, enjoying Kris’ panicked look. “So how was your day?”

Kris’ swallowed, trying not to look so uncomfortable. He placed his hand over Adam’s, helping the older singer feel his chest. He hoped he wasn’t taking this too far. “It was all right,” he said evenly.

Kris’ turned towards Adam’s to see his expression. Their faces were inches away, and Adam looked surprisingly serious. Kris immediately took his hand off of Adam’s; he knew he shouldn’t have taken it farther. This had crossed the line of “joking around” and had turned into actual physical flirting. Adam leaned even closer into Kris, and the younger man couldn’t look away from the piercing blue eyes. The older man licked his lips, and Kris’ stomach squirmed in fear and excitement. He had to inch back a little and look down before something happened. What that “something” was, Kris didn’t even want to admit to himself. All he could think was, ‘this is going too far. Way too far. Way too far.’

A slight smile crept onto Adam’s face when Kris backed away. He lifted his hand from Kris’ chest to cup his cheek. Their foreheads touched.

“What’s the matter?” Adam whispered, smiling.

Kris couldn’t meet his gaze. He had learned that somehow, it was dangerously easy to get lost in Adam’s stare. Some footsteps from the hallway sounded like they were coming closer. Adam dropped his hand onto the bed and both men watched the door. Danny walked by, gave them a confused look when he spotted them sitting on the bed together, but just waved and kept on walking. Kris exhaled.

“Scared?” Adam said, turning his full attention back to the younger singer.

Kris smiled. “You’re the one that looked scared to me, man. You dropped your hand there pretty fast.”

“You want it back?” Adam teased, placing it back on Kris’ cheek and letting it slide down his neck to his shoulder. Kris could feel the intensity in Adam’s movements, and it made his body tingle. He hoped Adam couldn’t feel his pounding heartbeat. His face heated up a little when Adam brought his hand up to tug on his earlobe.

This was all so new to the him. He had always been the one to make moves on his wife, Katy. He would always touch and caress her, and she would be the one blushing. It was very… different, to have things the other way around. It made Kris both flustered and a little uncomfortable, because he was so unsure about what to do.

“You like touching me?” Kris asked. He realized, as soon as the words left his mouth, how stupid it sounded. He couldn’t think of anything better to say.

“Of course,” Adam said. “Do you like it?”

Kris’ mind raced to think of an appropriate response. The only words he could think were, ‘way too far, way too far, way too far.’

“Un,” he said. He tried not to make it sound like a yes, but it probably did, because Adam responded by massaging Kris’ scalp. It felt good.

The older man chuckled softly as Kris’ eyes fell closed. Kris fought for some kind of control, but he couldn’t think of anything to say or do.

“…What time is it?” Kris finally asked, slightly glad he’d thought of something to say, but visibly disappointed when Adam’s hands left his scalp.

“About 10,” Adam replied.

“We should be getting to bed,” Kris pointed out.

Adam grinned. “You’re right, we should,” he said excitedly. He quickly got up and walked to the door to close it. He turned around to face Kris before flicking the light switch. It took Kris a few seconds before he was able to see anything in the darkness, but once he could, he noticed that Adam had gone to sit on his own bed. He felt a little bit cold.

Adam’s bright smile was the most visible thing in the dark room as unzipped his boots. Kris watched him, confused, and absent-mindedly kicked off his own shoes, too. Adam’s attention went from his boots, to Kris, and back to his boots, as he giggled a few times, very quietly. Finally, he got his second boot off and tossed it aside. Kris mentally cringed; he had tucked his own shoes neatly under the bed where they couldn’t be tripped over. Adam slid off his socks, too, and tossed them on the floor.

“You know what I usually like to do?” Adam said, his voice almost a whisper.

Kris blinked, still confused. “What?”

“You ever sleep naked?” The older man asked after a pause. His face was becoming more visible to Kris in the dark, and Kris was sure Adam was giving him a look.

“Not really,” Kris said, more curious than scared to see where Adam was going with this.

“What?” Adam asked in a quiet gasp. “That’s one of my favorite things to do!”

“You can’t sleep naked, Adam,” Kris said, smiling. “What if someone comes to wake us up?”

Adam smiled. “I’ll tell them to go away so I can get dressed. It’s not like they lift up my sheets.”

“Are you really serious?” Kris asked, still playing along.

“You should do it too,” Adam said quickly, slightly lifting his chin and running his tongue over his upper lip.

“I don’t think so,” Kris laughed. His eyes where still on Adam, waiting to see what he would do next. The anticipation was giving him goosebumps.

“Do you want me to?” Adam asked, daring.

Kris laughed, trying to keep his voice down. “Do I want you to? It’s up to you, man.” He bit his lip immediately after saying it; although he wouldn’t ever admit it, he wanted Adam to get naked. He had a feeling Adam knew it, too.

Slowly, Adam slid his coat off his shoulders and let it slide down his arms before tossing it to the floor. Kris was so fixated on Adam’s actions that he didn’t even think twice about the room being messy.

Adam then slid his t-shirt easily over his head, let it fall to the floor, and sat shirtless on his bed, just waiting. He was watching Kris watch him.

“Do you like how I look?” He asked, teasingly.

“I think you look good,” Kris replied. He tried to make the comment sound friendly, but his voice was so dry that it just sounded creepy. He cleared his throat.

Adam ran an open palm over his bare chest, pausing to pinch at his nipple. His eyes were on Kris the whole time. Kris’ skin felt so hot, he thought he was going to start sweating. He felt like this was going too far. They weren’t touching each other, but this seemed so… intense. It was so hard to know what was okay and what wasn’t okay with Adam. Everything just felt exciting, and he didn’t know if he wanted to stop or not. He felt like he was betraying his wife by watching Adam get undressed. But he just couldn’t help but feel like everything was fine, because it was just Adam, and he really did feel a natural connection with Adam. Was this completely wrong? Kris felt too selfish at the moment to explore that question. All he wanted was to see more of Adam’s body.

“You want to see more?” Adam asked, as if he could read Kris’ thoughts. Kris sat at the edge of his bed, his fists grasping the sheets a little.

“I think so,” Kris said in a breath. Embarrassment crashed on him as soon as he heard the words echo back. What was he saying?

Even Adam was surprised. His hands stopped moving and he stared at Kris with wide eyes. “Really?” he asked, grinning.

Kris couldn’t shake his embarrassment. He put his hand over his face and fell back onto his bed. “Nevermind.”

Adam laughed. “Make up your mind! I can take off my pants for you if you really want…”

“Forget it,” is all Kris could manage to say.

“Want me to rub your head for you again?” Adam asked sweetly. “It calmed you down before.”

Kris cringed. So Adam had noticed that he was freaking out earlier. Why did it even matter? The brunette couldn’t help feeling embarrassed.

Not waiting for an answer, Adam got up and took a few steps forward to lean over Kris on the bed. The younger man closed his eyes and exhaled as he felt Adam’s breath on his cheek. Adam’s fingers soon weaved through his hair to press gently on his scalp. Despite the massage, Kris’ heart still pounded, just from the other man’s proximity. He tried to make his breathing even so Adam wouldn’t notice the effect he had on him. All sorts of questions were running through Kris’ mind as he vaguely wondered, What the hell is going on anymore?

Kris felt lips on his cheek, as Adam gave him a light kiss there. He immediately blushed. ‘Way too far,’ he reminded himself. He felt his jeans get a little tighter, only adding to the panic.

“What’s the matter?” Adam whispered in his ear. “Talk to me.”

Kris couldn’t think of anything to say. Instead he put his arm around Adam’s torso and dragged his fingers along the smooth skin of the older singer’s back. He probably shouldn’t have, but he did. Adam’s skin felt nice, and it brought him some comfort.

The two stayed like that for a while; Adam’s breath on Kris’ cheek and Kris’ fingers trailing over the skin on Adam’s back. Eventually, Kris swallowed the lump in his throat and said, “What’re we doing?”

“What’re you doing?” Adam teased, and licked Kris near his mouth.

“Do you wanna kiss me?” Kris asked, curious. His stomach felt like it was flopping.

“So badly,” Adam moaned, and Kris’ erection was back.

“You’re just completely shameless, aren’t you, Adam?”

“People have told me that.”

“How many guys have you kissed before?” Kris asked, not sounding as curious as he really was.

“I don’t know,” Adam answered with a smile, like the question was obviously ridiculous.

“Have you ever kissed a girl?”

Adam laughed. “Yes.”

“Which feels better?”

“Hmm,” Adam thought to himself for a moment. “Why don’t you decide?”

Kris swallowed nervously. “I don’t know.”

Adam adjusted his head so that his lips hovered over Kris’. “Come on,” he said seductively. “Just do it.”

Kris hesitated, and Adam couldn’t wait. His mouth crashed down onto Kris’ with so much force that Kris couldn’t push him away. Adam licked, sucked, and nibbled all over Kris’ mouth, until Kris felt lifeless under him.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t want that,” Adam said in between gasps of air when he broke the kiss. His hand traveled back up to Kris’ scalp, messaging and rubbing.

Kris looked at him blankly. “I don’t know,” was all he said. He felt strange.

“It’s late,” Adam sighed. “We should get to sleep.”

“Yeah,” Kris said. He watched Adam walk back to his own bed; it was hard to look away.

“Goodnight,” Adam said, glancing at Kris one more time.

“Night,” Kris said. He was still confused, and wasn’t exactly sure what had just happened. His brain wasn’t working; he couldn’t think. His lips felt bruised and his body wanted. He didn’t want the night to end like this. He got out of bed, walked over to a surprised Adam, and kissed him shyly. Just a peck, but it was enough to get a point across.

"Wow, thanks," Adam said as Kris lay back down in his own bed. His face felt extremely hot, and he wasn't at all sure what to say. He just turned over, facing away from Adam, and soon fell asleep.
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PostSubject: Re: Exciting Game   Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:10 am

Chapter three


“WAKE UP!” Adam yelled out, jumping onto Kris’ bed and making the mattress bounce.

“What the hell, Adam!?” Kris yelled as he sprang awake.

“You sleep too much,” Adam said playfully. “Everyone’s eating breakfast!”

“Not hungry,” Kris groaned angrily.

“You’ve gotta eat, sweetie. It’s gonna be a big day.”

“Every day’s a big day,” Kris complained.

“Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake-UP!” Adam chanted, shaking Kris by his shoulders. “It’s already 7!”

Kris groaned some more. Adam put on a southern accent. “Ya best be gittin’ up, Kris.”

“That accent was horrible,” Kris laughed. He sat up slowly, and Adam, still sitting next to him, smiled.

“There we go,” Adam said. He messed Kris’ hair and stood up. Kris looked up at him.

“I like your hair today,” Kris said. It was styled up off of his forehead, but the sides hung down naturally. He looked very stylish.

“How romantic,” Adam teased, turning around and walking towards the door. “Let’s eat,” he said, glancing back before walking out into the hallway.

“Yeah,” Kris said, climbing out of bed to get dressed, but only to realize he was still in his clothes from yesterday, jeans and all. Memories of the night before, of Adam stripping, and of the... kissing, all came rushing back. Kris blinked a couple times, but shrugged it off; he didn’t have time to worry about Adam right now.

----

It was Monday, and they would all be going on Idol live again tomorrow night. There was a lot of practicing and rehearsing to do through the day. Adam practiced his performance of “Born to be Wild,” while Kris practiced “Falling Slowly.” The contestants raced around all day from rehearsing, to picking outfits, and to eating, and they were all relieved when it was finally time to get back to the house for some rest.

“I think my voice is dead,” Matt muttered as the Idol contestants arrived back at the house. “I’ve been singing nonstop all day.”

Most everyone nodded in agreement, not having the energy to respond verbally. When they arrived inside there were seven large piles of envelopes across the table.

“That’s a lot of fan mail,” Allison said, her voice exhausted but her eyes popped open wide.

Everyone grabbed as much as they could carry of the envelopes that were labeled to them, and headed to their rooms.

Kris grabbed his pile, which was noticeably larger than it had ever been, and headed to the bedroom to sort through it all. About a half hour later, after Kris had gotten through almost half of the fan mail, Adam ran into the room.

“Look, look, look!” he sang excitedly. “One of my fans sent me an awesome necklace!”

Kris turned around and laughed. “That’s cool, man. My fans haven’t given me anything but, like, a lock of their hair.”

Adam burst out laughing. “Are you serious? That’s so weird!”

“I know,” Kris laughed. “Like, I don’t even know what I should do with it.”

Both men laughed, and Adam scurried over to the mirror to try on his necklace. “I just love this!” he said. “Fans are awesome.”

Kris chuckled again and opened another letter. Inside was a card that said “To Kris, From Patty.” Kris opened it lazily, and written inside was, “You’re HOTT! Good luck on Idol!” The brunette singer sighed and threw the letter into the pile of all the other opened letters.

“I told you!” Adam said loudly. “Now you’re getting tons of mail from girls who think you’re cute, right?”

“Well yeah,” Kris said. “But, dude, how can you be yelling right now? I can barely talk.”

“I dunno,” Adam said with a smile. He sat down and rested his chin on Kris’ shoulder, and Kris stiffened. “I bet I could get you to make some noise,” Adam said into his ear with a giggle.

Kris’ could feel Adam’s breath on his ear. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he tried to gather himself. He had an impulse to turn around and just kiss him, but he couldn’t.

“Yeah sure,” Kris eventually said, acting as if Adam were joking. He opened his eyes and took another breath. He couldn’t seem to calm himself down. Adam’s hand began stroking his upper arm lightly, and Kris couldn’t take much more.

“Why’re you doing this?” he asked softly.

“Because you want me to,” Adam responded easily. “I can tell.”

“You’d be doing this with any roommate,” Kris said.

“Doing what?” Adam asked simply, with a smile.

What were they doing? Flirting? It felt more serious, but then again, Kris felt like Adam could do this with strangers daily. He didn’t know how to explain what it was they were doing. He felt like his face was on fire.

“This,” he said. When had it escalated so much from just kidding around?

“I wouldn’t be doing it with any roommate,” Adam said. “Just you.”

“Sure,” Kris said, skeptical. “What makes me so special?”

“You’re hot,” Adam joked. “Hot with two T’s!”

“I’m serious,” Kris said plainly.

“What do you want me to say?” Adam asked, breathing in the younger singer’s ear.

Kris thought for a few seconds. He really wasn’t sure.

“I’m so confused,” he said honestly. “I just want to know what’s going on.” Adam’s breath was making him shiver. He really couldn’t take much more.

“Not everything needs a definition, Kris.” So it was something; they were both acknowledging it now.

“It’s not right, man. It really isn’t,” Kris said, trying hard to convince them both.

“Why did you kiss me last night?” Adam asked.

Kris mentally cringed, feeling a stab of shame at the memory. “I shouldn’t have.”

“You can’t take it back now,” Adam teased. “You like me.”

“I’m married,” Kris said. “Doesn’t that bother you?”

“Well, a little,” Adam said, frowning. He paused for a few seconds, thinking of what to say. “You’re too young to be married,” he complained.

“You’ve never been in love,” Kris said defensively. The words were automatic, and he immediately felt stupid for saying them. He had no idea whether or not Adam had ever been in love.

“Yes, I have,” Adam retorted. “Kris, I don’t feel bad about kissing you.”

“Maybe you should, man.”

Adam sighed. “So you want me to stop, then? Just tell me what’s going on with you so we don’t have to keep bickering. Here, turn around.”

Kris turned to face him, his cheeks still flushed. “What should I say?” he asked quietly, not meeting Adam’s stare.

“Do you like me?” Adam asked simply, stroking Kris’ hair.

“Yeah, man, I like you a lot. I like being around you. I like talking to you,” Kris said, letting his thoughts finally flow. “I feel comfortable with you. Yeah, I like you a lot.” His voice was still raspy from the day of singing.

“Is that all?”

Kris let out a slow, shuddering breath. “No,” he said.

Adam’s warm arms were around his shoulders now. “Don’t feel bad, Kris. I like you, too. It’s fine.”

“Like that, man,” Kris went on. “It’s like you know exactly what to do. I have no idea what to do!” He wasn’t sure what he was trying to say anymore. He was so frustrated, and everything was so confusing.

“Shhh,” Adam whispered. “We have a show tomorrow. You shouldn’t be this stressed out over anything other than performing. It’s fine. Everything is fine, okay?”

“Nothing’s fine.”

“If it makes you feel better, we should have different rooms soon,” Adam added.

Kris looked up at Adam’s smiling face, and he wasn’t strong enough to fight it. Hesitantly, he slid his arms around Adam’s neck, and he heard the catch in Adam’s breath. They both wanted it. Kris knew it was wrong, but it was just Adam, and it was just them. Adam was looking down at him, trying to read his face, and Kris leaned forward to quickly close the distance between their mouths. Adam, although surprised, let out a soft moan to show Kris his appreciation. Kris moved his lips around over Adam’s slowly, screwing his eyes shut and lifting his body up to press their chests together. Adam kissed back passionately, and nibbled a little on Kris’ lower lip. Kris liked it far more than he should have.

Adam soon pulled away, pushing Kris’ shoulders back to look at his face. Kris gazed back at him, looking confused. “The doors open,” Adam said. “I’m guessing you don’t want someone to walk in on that.”

Kris blinked, his eyes growing wide as he thought of what could have gone wrong. “Shit,” he said. He was surprised that it hadn’t crossed his mind.

Adam laughed, and got up to quickly close the door. He flicked the lights off, too, and ran back to sit with Kris, immediately grabbing him by his shoulders and kissing him again. Kris could feel his heartbeat in his ears, and he suddenly couldn’t breathe. He pulled back.

“Why did you turn off the lights?” he asked nervously.

Adam chuckled. “It would be a little weird if we had the door closed and the lights on, don’t you think? Now, anyone who’d walk by will think we’re sleeping.”

“Oh, right,” Kris said, still nervous. The situation somehow felt a lot more intimate now that they were alone; closed door, lights off.

“Relax, sweetie,” Adam said comfortingly. “We both want this.” And he was right.

Kris relaxed a little, and let Adam kiss him again. He moaned a little when Adam’s tongue brushed over his lip, and he kissed him back eagerly.

Adam hummed happily, and gently pushed Kris backwards onto the bed. Kris complied and let his head rest on the pillow as Adam leaned over him, his new necklace swaying and brushing against Kris’ shirt.

Adam had his hand still on Kris’ shoulder, and he used the other to hold himself up over Kris. Breathing heavily though his nose, Kris tried desperately to taste as much of Adam’s mouth as he could. He slid his tongue inside and licked at Adam’s. It made him recall the pictures that Adam had shown him, where Adam had his tongue in another man’s mouth. It reminded him of how new he was to all this. His heart was racing, and he could hear his pulse pounding in his ears.

Adam’s hand moved up to Kris’ face, fingers trailing over his cheek and jaw line. Kris had a full hard-on at this point, and the discomfort in his pants made him slightly squirm underneath Adam. Adam slid his hand down to Kris’ chest, and then a little lower to slide under his shirt. Kris gasped at the feeling of Adam’s hand on his skin, and arched his body into his touch. Adam’s hand slid everywhere over his chest, and Kris had to break the kiss to quietly gasp for a breath of air.

“I love your body, Kris,” Adam said hotly against Kris’ cheek. He lifted Kris’ shirt up and raised his head to look at it. “Damn, you’re in such good shape,” he said, grinning.

“Thanks,” Kris replied with a humble smirk, while slightly cringing at the feeling of cold metal touching his chest. He wanted to ask Adam to take off the necklace, but once Adam leaned down to kiss him again, letting his hand roam over exposed skin, Kris forgot all about it. Adam’s finger slid across Kris’ belly button, and then an inch lower. Kris resisted the urge to move his hips.

Adam tapped his index finger, which rested just below Kris’ belly button. “Are you hard?” he asked, his voice lustful.

Kris burned up again, and inwardly panicked. “Well, yeah,” he stuttered.

“Do you want me to…” Adam trailed off, capturing Kris’ mouth briefly again with his own.

“No!” Kris answered quickly. “No. Sorry man, that’s way too much. No way, man.”

Adam giggled into his ear. “You have so much restraint,” he whispered.

Kris sighed in annoyance, battling inwardly with himself. “You have nowhere near enough restraint!” he said sternly. “You’re a really bad influence on me, Adam!”

Adam laughed again, lifting his head to look down at the other man. “At least I’m not forcing you.”

“You’re putting a lot of fuckin’ pressure on me, though!”

“You love it.”

Kris pulled Adam back down to him and kissed him hard. He tugged at Adam’s jet-black hair, suddenly and aggressively pulling him away again. “You’re too much for me, man,” he said through closed teeth. “Fucking irresistible. That’s the only reason this is happening.” Adam smirked, obviously taking it as a compliment, and Kris leaned up for another kiss. “I can’t believe how easily I’ve caved in to you,” he said finally.

“I’m glad,” is all Adam said, a grin stretching his face wide.

The two kissed again, Kris burying his fingers in Adam’s hair, and Adam exploring Kris’ upper body. Adam moaned again, causing Kris to involuntarily buck his hips up. He felt Adam smiling into the kiss, and hoped he wouldn’t get the wrong idea. He continued to move his arms awkwardly, not quite having the nerve to touch Adam anywhere else.

After a few minutes, Adam broke the kiss and lied down next to the younger singer. “My arm is numb,” he said, chuckling. Kris tried to catch his breath. “Oh, sorry,” he said, feeling cold.

“We should get to sleep soon,” Adam said, giving Kris a peck on the mouth.

Kris licked his lips. “Yeah, I guess so.” He couldn’t help but look a little upset.

“Don’t worry, babe,” Adam laughed. “There’s always tomorrow night.”

Kris wrapped his arm around the older man, holding him in place. “Sleep here with me,” he said, joking.

“You wish,” Adam whispered back. Then Kris, more seriously, said, “I could fall asleep real easy like this.”

“Me too,” Adam sighed. “But we can’t.” He struggled out of Kris’ hold and sat up.

Kris looked up at him, in awe. “How are you so good-looking?” he asked quietly, suddenly paranoid about someone else hearing.

Adam just smiled and walked to his own bed, pulling off his pants on the way. Kris blushed and stared. Adam sat on his bed, facing Kris, and started to slide under his sheets. “What’re you looking at?” he teased.

Suddenly too embarrassed to respond, Kris just climbed under his own covers, taking his pants off underneath the sheets. He was still aroused and didn’t want Adam to see the possible damp spot over his briefs. He tucked the pants underneath the bed, making a mental note to fold them later.

Adam frowned. “Aww, I don’t even get to see?”

Kris smiled. “No way.”

Adam gave him a sexy glare. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” he suddenly declared in a hushed voice.

“Sorry, no,” Kris said a little more seriously, trying not to consider it.

“You’re no fun,” Adam said, resting his head on his pillow now. “Goodnight.”

“Night,” Kris said. Somehow, he was a lot less stressed now. He hoped he’d do well on the show tomorrow, somewhat because he didn’t want to leave Idol, not just yet.
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PostSubject: Re: Exciting Game   Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:11 am

Chapter four


“Idol Tuesday!” Kris heard someone yell across the house, waking him up. It was probably Danny; He always managed to tick Kris off without even knowing it. Almost immediately after opening his eyes, Kris looked to his left. Adam was sitting up in bed, staring at him.

“What the hell..?” Kris mumbled, visibly confused. “Dude do you, like, watch me sleep or something?”

Adam laughed loudly. “I just happened to look over!”

“My ass,” Kris said, turning over and hoping for another few minutes of sleep. Adam giggled to himself, probably trying to refrain from spewing an inappropriate response.

Kris shifted around for a comfortable position and turned to lie on his back, eyes closed. He stayed like that, almost asleep, until he heard Adam shifting around to stand up. He opened his eyes halfway and turned his head.

Adam was still in his briefs. Kris’ eyes snapped fully open at the sight, and Adam chuckled when he noticed. He singer reached his left hand down and grabbed himself, making his stank face. The gesture, plus the noticeably large size of Adam’s package, made Kris instantly hard. He licked his lips reflexively and turned away, trying to make his eyes close. He could only blink.

“What? Did I give you a boner?” Adam teased jokingly.

“No comment,” Kris said, trying to hide his embarrassment with a laugh.

“Wow, Kris,” Adam said with a surprised laugh. “You really need to get laid.”

Kris turned his head to glare at him, but it probably came across as “yes, please,” instead; he could feel that his face was still flushed. Adam licked his lips. Kris sighed and tried to think about something else, anything but Adam, so he could get up and put on some pants without a hard-on. Thankfully, Adam got dressed quickly while Kris pretended he was still tired.

----

After eating breakfast, the contestants rehearsed for the show. Ryan Seacrest talked to them for about fifteen minutes to explain how the show would go, like he did every week. Adam and Kris stood next to each other and, when Ryan looked in another direction, Adam brushed his hand against Kris’. Kris almost jumped the first time it happened, and assumed it was an accident. When it happened again Kris looked over at him, intending to glare, but instead smiled when he saw the flirtatious look on Adam’s face. He turned his attention forward again, and when Ryan paused to answer one of Allison’s questions, he bumped his hand against Adam’s. Both men smiled, and Matt gave them a confused look. A few minutes later, when the contestants walked away to practice their individual songs again, he realized how corny that whole thing had just been.

After much practice-singing, and then lunch, the idols put on their outfits for the show and sat in their makeup chairs. Kris’ makeup took about 5 minutes, and once he was done he walked around to chat with everyone else. He spotted Lil first, but avoided eye-contact; last time he tried to have a conversation with her she ranted on for ten minutes about her family and kids. He approached Matt, lifting his hand to say “hey,” but Matt seemed too busy fussing with his hair to notice. Adam, sitting across the room, cracked up. Kris spun around at the sound and saw that Adam was laughing at Matt.

“What up, Adam,” he said as he walked towards him enthusiastically. “You look like a rock star, man.” Nobody else in the competition, he noticed, could look the part of a superstar like Adam could.

“Thaaanks,” Adam chimed. “This is my favorite part of the day.” His makeup artist—his name was Miles if Kris remembered correctly—came back with foundation. Adam held still, and Kris watched as his freckles disappeared.

“I bet America has no idea you’re covered in freckles,” Kris laughed. Adam smiled, trying not to move his face too much while Miles coated it in foundation. “Don’t tell anyone,” Adam said after a few seconds, turning to smile at him when Miles pulled away for more makeup. “It’s one of my many secrets that would probably skew the voting.”

Kris laughed at the inside joke. By now, most Idol fans, and even the rest of the contestants, probably knew about Adam’s orientation.

He bet none of them would ever suspect Kris himself of being bisexual. The thought made him a little upset.

----

It was 5:30 already, and the show would be starting in a half hour. Everyone was scurrying around, getting the camera angles set up and checking the microphones. Kris was suddenly so nervous it was almost unbearable. He had to sing well, or else he wouldn’t have any more time on the show. Everything around him was so hectic that he couldn’t think clearly. He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder, and looked over at Adam standing next to him. The taller singer suddenly pulled him into a hug in front of everyone, and Kris nearly had a panic attack.

“What are you doing-” he said into Adam’s shoulder. He realized after a moment that no one would be suspicious of them hugging, and he calmed down. “Oh- sorry,” he tried to correct himself.

“It’s fine,” Adam laughed. Kris suddenly felt much better, and he was too overwhelmed to really wonder why. “You’ll do great,” Adam told him, and Kris believed him.

“You don’t need me to tell you how great you’ll be,” Kris laughed. “You’ll blow ‘em away, right?”

Adam smiled. “I hope so!”

----

Adam sang third, and Kris watched in total amazement. The black-haired singer’s voice echoed around the whole building as he ran back and forth across the stage singing “Born to be Wild.” Kris watched the screen behind Adam for close-ups of his face, and had to try not to get too turned on over Adam’s facial expressions. There was definitely something wrong with him.

Adam ended the performance like he was born a star. The judges, and probably the entire country, were blown away.

The rest of the show was a build-up of anxiety until Kris went on stage. He inhaled slowly, and blew the breath out. Inhale, exhale, and inhale, and--. He couldn’t exactly remember why, but he had confidence that he’d do great. Relaxing a little once the music started, he sang “Falling Slowly” and kept his voice low and sweet. The simple romance of the song brought his mind immediately to Adam, and not his wife Katy. Making a point to focus on his voice and the sound of the guitar, he clutched the microphone tight and sang, and he felt more at ease by the time the song ended.

Kris bowed his head and licked his lips as applause flooded his ears. The judges loved his song, and Kris was ecstatic. Adam was waiting for him off-stage; they hugged and everything in the world felt perfect.

----

Once the show ended and reality came back into existence, one word brought all Kris’ relieved feelings crashing down: Katy.

All the emotions that Kris had been feeling today ran wild in his body. Guilt, shame, and disgust mixed with it all, and his hands shook. He’d been blocking away thoughts about his wife for days. He’d cheated on her. Somehow the reality of the situation hadn’t hit him until now. He walked straight to the bathroom as soon as they arrived back at the house; he couldn’t break down in front of everyone.

What did he think was happening? Like fooling around with Adam Lambert wouldn’t have consequences? He made a promise to Katy when he married her, and he never thought that he would break it. His wedding ring felt tight and constricting, and he felt like it was burning him. He’d been calling Katy every day, acting totally normal, talking to her and telling her that he loved her. He did love her. Why had he cheated on her with Adam?

Adam. Kris sighed. Confident, sexy, glamorous Adam. Everything from their upbringing, to their looks and personalities, to their singing styles were completely different. He’d grown up with Katy; he knew everything about her down to the last detail, and he loved all of it. Adam was exciting; different from everything Kris was used to, and surprisingly friendly even. Every movement Adam made, every word he said was so fascinating that Kris savored every moment they were together. At least he could admit that much to himself.

But he didn’t love Adam, not like he loved Katy. Then why was he doing this? He thought hard about it, sitting on the closed toilet as minutes passed. He didn’t have an answer.

“Hey Kris, are you in there?” Adam’s voice rang out, muffled from the other side of the door. Kris took a few breaths so he wouldn’t sound like he’d been crying, and Adam knocked twice. “Kris?” he asked again, concern in his voice.

“Yeah,” Kris answered. “Be out in a minute.”

“Are you okay?” Adam asked.

“I’m fine, I’ll be right out.”

“All right,” he heard Adam say. Kris’ mind buzzed just from the brief exchange. Even overwhelmed with guilt, all he wanted to do was get out of the bathroom to be with Adam again. It was as if he got a high just from being near him, and it got more intensely mind-altering the closer they were. Kris knew he didn’t have enough power to resist.

Adam was waiting down the hall when Kris walked out of the bathroom. His eyes probably looked red, but Adam didn’t say anything about it. They walked together to their room, and Kris closed the door behind them and walked past Adam to sit down on his bed.

“Can I sit with you?” Adam asked. Kris wanted to say no, but the thought was so comforting that he nodded his head instead. He was surprised that Adam had chosen to ask, rather than just sitting.

“What’s wrong, Kris?” Adam asked, his voice full of genuine worry. He sat next to him, but left a small distance between their bodies so that not even their thighs touched. Kris scooted over, not wanting to but feeling like he had to. He leaned into Adam’s chest.

“Life,” he said.

“I’d say your life’s going great,” Adam said comfortingly, snaking his arms around Kris’ tense body. “You’re on American Idol, and every girl in America’s crazy about you.”

Kris wanted to explain why he was so upset, he wanted to tell Adam he couldn’t do this anymore, but when he opened his mouth all that came out was a quiet choked sob. His body shook a few times, and he felt Adam’s warm hands rubbing the fabric of his shirt over his back. How embarrassing.

Adam leaned down to plant a kiss in Kris’ hair. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked softly.

“Yeah.” Kris rubbed his eyes with his sleeve and lifted his head, still not looking Adam in the face. He struggled with his words.

“Does it… does it really not… bother you, that I’m married?” Kris asked in a quiet, cracking voice.

“A little,” Adam sighed, answering honestly. “But as long as you’re-”

“I don’t get it!” Kris interrupted. “I don’t know why I’m doing this! I love Katy. I love her so, so much.” His voice cracked again. “But you’re something totally different. I can’t even compare you to her, because I feel like a completely different person when I’m with you. I hardly know anything about you!”

“Shhh,” Adam whispered, moving his arm against Kris’ body. “Everything happens for a reason, Kris. I really believe that.”

“You’re-…I mean,” Kris went on, frustrated. “As cheesy as it sounds, man, you’re like a drug. And I’m addicted. I can’t stop. I have to be near you.”

Adam went silent, and Kris took a couple shaky breaths. “Why do you like me?” Kris asked, almost angrily, but he clung to Adam’s shirt.

“I couldn’t tell you in so few words,” Adam said simply, stroking Kris’ arm with his thumb. “But I love everything about you.”

Kris’ hand wandered over Adam’s side as he spoke. “Sure,” he said as his hand found its way under Adam’s shirt.

“I loved you on stage, today,” Adam continued. “You have a beautiful voice.”

“You were sexy,” Kris said, caught up in the feeling of Adam’s warm skin under his fingers. Adam laughed. “Take this off,” Kris said, tugging on the shirt.

“Uh...” Adam paused. “If we’re gonna do that we’d better turn off the lights.”

“Whatever,” Kris said absently, squeezing and rubbing Adam’s skin. He just wanted to forget. He just wanted this.

Adam let out a happy sigh. “That feels good,” he said softly. Kris kissed him lightly, stretching his neck out to reach. Adam licked Kris’s mouth instead of kissing him back, and Kris smiled. The drug that was Adam flooded his senses, and Kris couldn’t think of anything else. Adam pushed him down roughly, getting ready to lie over him again.

“I wanna be on top this time,” Kris said, too focused to realize the innuendo. He looked offended when Adam giggled loudly.

“Sure,” Adam finally said, and Kris rolled over on top of him. Now that he was in a more familiar position, Kris felt comfortable, and more eager. He planted a kiss hard on Adam’s mouth, and let his hand slide up the older singer’s stomach. Adam felt very different than Katy. His skin felt rougher and harder against Kris’ palm, and Kris was very, very turned on by it.

His uncertainties faded as he let his instincts take control. His lips left Adam’s mouth and sloppily kissed his cheek, his jaw, his ear, his neck. Adam smelled intoxicating, and Kris could taste the makeup on his skin. Unable to resist, he dropped his hips down and grinded his erection once against Adam. The pleasure, hot and sudden, made Kris gasp softly.

“Jesus,” Adam breathed, lifting his own hips up to meet Kris’ again. Kris groaned against Adam’s mouth.

Three sudden knocks on their door made them both jump and freeze in place.

“Dudes,” Allison called out. “Come watch the show.”

“Yeah, be right out,” Kris yelled back. He turned to Adam with a terrified look, and Adam was smiling.

“Told you we should have turned off the lights,” he teased, raising his hips up again.

“What the hell are we gonna tell them?” Kris asked, panicked.

“Stop freaking out, hun,” Adam said calmly. “Nobody’s going to know. We were just talking in here.”

Kris tried to calm himself down, rolling off of Adam. “Okay,” he said.

The two men wandered into the living room. Everyone had started watching the show without them, but they didn’t mind missing the intro. Kris made sure to sit as far away from Adam as he could, but couldn’t help looking over at him every few minutes; like he had to be sure he was still there.

If Kris had to choose between Katy and Adam, he knew he’d choose Katy. But, right now he didn’t have to choose. Adam didn’t mind, and Kris knew he didn’t have enough strength to stay away, as much as he wished he could. He loved Katy, but the more he thought about it, the more certain he was that it would be better not to tell her. She wouldn’t understand it even if he did. Adam would be temporary; they’d probably hardly see each other once the show was over, never mind have a chance to be alone together. Kris frowned, trying not to think so far ahead.

This was all decided while Kris glanced back and forth between Adam and the TV. Everything was much easier now that Kris had cleared things up in his head. Maybe his decision wasn’t the right one, but he knew it was the only one he could handle. It felt right enough to him.
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PostSubject: Re: Exciting Game   Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:12 am

Chapter five


“Idol Tuesday!” Kris heard someone yell across the house, waking him up. It was probably Danny; He always managed to tick Kris off without even knowing it. Almost immediately after opening his eyes, Kris looked to his left. Adam was sitting up in bed, staring at him.

“What the hell..?” Kris mumbled, visibly confused. “Dude do you, like, watch me sleep or something?”

Adam laughed loudly. “I just happened to look over!”

“My ass,” Kris said, turning over and hoping for another few minutes of sleep. Adam giggled to himself, probably trying to refrain from spewing an inappropriate response.

Kris shifted around for a comfortable position and turned to lie on his back, eyes closed. He stayed like that, almost asleep, until he heard Adam shifting around to stand up. He opened his eyes halfway and turned his head.

Adam was still in his briefs. Kris’ eyes snapped fully open at the sight, and Adam chuckled when he noticed. He singer reached his left hand down and grabbed himself, making his stank face. The gesture, plus the noticeably large size of Adam’s package, made Kris instantly hard. He licked his lips reflexively and turned away, trying to make his eyes close. He could only blink.

“What? Did I give you a boner?” Adam teased jokingly.

“No comment,” Kris said, trying to hide his embarrassment with a laugh.

“Wow, Kris,” Adam said with a surprised laugh. “You really need to get laid.”

Kris turned his head to glare at him, but it probably came across as “yes, please,” instead; he could feel that his face was still flushed. Adam licked his lips. Kris sighed and tried to think about something else, anything but Adam, so he could get up and put on some pants without a hard-on. Thankfully, Adam got dressed quickly while Kris pretended he was still tired.

----

After eating breakfast, the contestants rehearsed for the show. Ryan Seacrest talked to them for about fifteen minutes to explain how the show would go, like he did every week. Adam and Kris stood next to each other and, when Ryan looked in another direction, Adam brushed his hand against Kris’. Kris almost jumped the first time it happened, and assumed it was an accident. When it happened again Kris looked over at him, intending to glare, but instead smiled when he saw the flirtatious look on Adam’s face. He turned his attention forward again, and when Ryan paused to answer one of Allison’s questions, he bumped his hand against Adam’s. Both men smiled, and Matt gave them a confused look. A few minutes later, when the contestants walked away to practice their individual songs again, he realized how corny that whole thing had just been.

After much practice-singing, and then lunch, the idols put on their outfits for the show and sat in their makeup chairs. Kris’ makeup took about 5 minutes, and once he was done he walked around to chat with everyone else. He spotted Lil first, but avoided eye-contact; last time he tried to have a conversation with her she ranted on for ten minutes about her family and kids. He approached Matt, lifting his hand to say “hey,” but Matt seemed too busy fussing with his hair to notice. Adam, sitting across the room, cracked up. Kris spun around at the sound and saw that Adam was laughing at Matt.

“What up, Adam,” he said as he walked towards him enthusiastically. “You look like a rock star, man.” Nobody else in the competition, he noticed, could look the part of a superstar like Adam could.

“Thaaanks,” Adam chimed. “This is my favorite part of the day.” His makeup artist—his name was Miles if Kris remembered correctly—came back with foundation. Adam held still, and Kris watched as his freckles disappeared.

“I bet America has no idea you’re covered in freckles,” Kris laughed. Adam smiled, trying not to move his face too much while Miles coated it in foundation. “Don’t tell anyone,” Adam said after a few seconds, turning to smile at him when Miles pulled away for more makeup. “It’s one of my many secrets that would probably skew the voting.”

Kris laughed at the inside joke. By now, most Idol fans, and even the rest of the contestants, probably knew about Adam’s orientation.

He bet none of them would ever suspect Kris himself of being bisexual. The thought made him a little upset.

----

It was 5:30 already, and the show would be starting in a half hour. Everyone was scurrying around, getting the camera angles set up and checking the microphones. Kris was suddenly so nervous it was almost unbearable. He had to sing well, or else he wouldn’t have any more time on the show. Everything around him was so hectic that he couldn’t think clearly. He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder, and looked over at Adam standing next to him. The taller singer suddenly pulled him into a hug in front of everyone, and Kris nearly had a panic attack.

“What are you doing-” he said into Adam’s shoulder. He realized after a moment that no one would be suspicious of them hugging, and he calmed down. “Oh- sorry,” he tried to correct himself.

“It’s fine,” Adam laughed. Kris suddenly felt much better, and he was too overwhelmed to really wonder why. “You’ll do great,” Adam told him, and Kris believed him.

“You don’t need me to tell you how great you’ll be,” Kris laughed. “You’ll blow ‘em away, right?”

Adam smiled. “I hope so!”

----

Adam sang third, and Kris watched in total amazement. The black-haired singer’s voice echoed around the whole building as he ran back and forth across the stage singing “Born to be Wild.” Kris watched the screen behind Adam for close-ups of his face, and had to try not to get too turned on over Adam’s facial expressions. There was definitely something wrong with him.

Adam ended the performance like he was born a star. The judges, and probably the entire country, were blown away.

The rest of the show was a build-up of anxiety until Kris went on stage. He inhaled slowly, and blew the breath out. Inhale, exhale, and inhale, and--. He couldn’t exactly remember why, but he had confidence that he’d do great. Relaxing a little once the music started, he sang “Falling Slowly” and kept his voice low and sweet. The simple romance of the song brought his mind immediately to Adam, and not his wife Katy. Making a point to focus on his voice and the sound of the guitar, he clutched the microphone tight and sang, and he felt more at ease by the time the song ended.

Kris bowed his head and licked his lips as applause flooded his ears. The judges loved his song, and Kris was ecstatic. Adam was waiting for him off-stage; they hugged and everything in the world felt perfect.

----

Once the show ended and reality came back into existence, one word brought all Kris’ relieved feelings crashing down: Katy.

All the emotions that Kris had been feeling today ran wild in his body. Guilt, shame, and disgust mixed with it all, and his hands shook. He’d been blocking away thoughts about his wife for days. He’d cheated on her. Somehow the reality of the situation hadn’t hit him until now. He walked straight to the bathroom as soon as they arrived back at the house; he couldn’t break down in front of everyone.

What did he think was happening? Like fooling around with Adam Lambert wouldn’t have consequences? He made a promise to Katy when he married her, and he never thought that he would break it. His wedding ring felt tight and constricting, and he felt like it was burning him. He’d been calling Katy every day, acting totally normal, talking to her and telling her that he loved her. He did love her. Why had he cheated on her with Adam?

Adam. Kris sighed. Confident, sexy, glamorous Adam. Everything from their upbringing, to their looks and personalities, to their singing styles were completely different. He’d grown up with Katy; he knew everything about her down to the last detail, and he loved all of it. Adam was exciting; different from everything Kris was used to, and surprisingly friendly even. Every movement Adam made, every word he said was so fascinating that Kris savored every moment they were together. At least he could admit that much to himself.

But he didn’t love Adam, not like he loved Katy. Then why was he doing this? He thought hard about it, sitting on the closed toilet as minutes passed. He didn’t have an answer.

“Hey Kris, are you in there?” Adam’s voice rang out, muffled from the other side of the door. Kris took a few breaths so he wouldn’t sound like he’d been crying, and Adam knocked twice. “Kris?” he asked again, concern in his voice.

“Yeah,” Kris answered. “Be out in a minute.”

“Are you okay?” Adam asked.

“I’m fine, I’ll be right out.”

“All right,” he heard Adam say. Kris’ mind buzzed just from the brief exchange. Even overwhelmed with guilt, all he wanted to do was get out of the bathroom to be with Adam again. It was as if he got a high just from being near him, and it got more intensely mind-altering the closer they were. Kris knew he didn’t have enough power to resist.

Adam was waiting down the hall when Kris walked out of the bathroom. His eyes probably looked red, but Adam didn’t say anything about it. They walked together to their room, and Kris closed the door behind them and walked past Adam to sit down on his bed.

“Can I sit with you?” Adam asked. Kris wanted to say no, but the thought was so comforting that he nodded his head instead. He was surprised that Adam had chosen to ask, rather than just sitting.

“What’s wrong, Kris?” Adam asked, his voice full of genuine worry. He sat next to him, but left a small distance between their bodies so that not even their thighs touched. Kris scooted over, not wanting to but feeling like he had to. He leaned into Adam’s chest.

“Life,” he said.

“I’d say your life’s going great,” Adam said comfortingly, snaking his arms around Kris’ tense body. “You’re on American Idol, and every girl in America’s crazy about you.”

Kris wanted to explain why he was so upset, he wanted to tell Adam he couldn’t do this anymore, but when he opened his mouth all that came out was a quiet choked sob. His body shook a few times, and he felt Adam’s warm hands rubbing the fabric of his shirt over his back. How embarrassing.

Adam leaned down to plant a kiss in Kris’ hair. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked softly.

“Yeah.” Kris rubbed his eyes with his sleeve and lifted his head, still not looking Adam in the face. He struggled with his words.

“Does it… does it really not… bother you, that I’m married?” Kris asked in a quiet, cracking voice.

“A little,” Adam sighed, answering honestly. “But as long as you’re-”

“I don’t get it!” Kris interrupted. “I don’t know why I’m doing this! I love Katy. I love her so, so much.” His voice cracked again. “But you’re something totally different. I can’t even compare you to her, because I feel like a completely different person when I’m with you. I hardly know anything about you!”

“Shhh,” Adam whispered, moving his arm against Kris’ body. “Everything happens for a reason, Kris. I really believe that.”

“You’re-…I mean,” Kris went on, frustrated. “As cheesy as it sounds, man, you’re like a drug. And I’m addicted. I can’t stop. I have to be near you.”

Adam went silent, and Kris took a couple shaky breaths. “Why do you like me?” Kris asked, almost angrily, but he clung to Adam’s shirt.

“I couldn’t tell you in so few words,” Adam said simply, stroking Kris’ arm with his thumb. “But I love everything about you.”

Kris’ hand wandered over Adam’s side as he spoke. “Sure,” he said as his hand found its way under Adam’s shirt.

“I loved you on stage, today,” Adam continued. “You have a beautiful voice.”

“You were sexy,” Kris said, caught up in the feeling of Adam’s warm skin under his fingers. Adam laughed. “Take this off,” Kris said, tugging on the shirt.

“Uh...” Adam paused. “If we’re gonna do that we’d better turn off the lights.”

“Whatever,” Kris said absently, squeezing and rubbing Adam’s skin. He just wanted to forget. He just wanted this.

Adam let out a happy sigh. “That feels good,” he said softly. Kris kissed him lightly, stretching his neck out to reach. Adam licked Kris’s mouth instead of kissing him back, and Kris smiled. The drug that was Adam flooded his senses, and Kris couldn’t think of anything else. Adam pushed him down roughly, getting ready to lie over him again.

“I wanna be on top this time,” Kris said, too focused to realize the innuendo. He looked offended when Adam giggled loudly.

“Sure,” Adam finally said, and Kris rolled over on top of him. Now that he was in a more familiar position, Kris felt comfortable, and more eager. He planted a kiss hard on Adam’s mouth, and let his hand slide up the older singer’s stomach. Adam felt very different than Katy. His skin felt rougher and harder against Kris’ palm, and Kris was very, very turned on by it.

His uncertainties faded as he let his instincts take control. His lips left Adam’s mouth and sloppily kissed his cheek, his jaw, his ear, his neck. Adam smelled intoxicating, and Kris could taste the makeup on his skin. Unable to resist, he dropped his hips down and grinded his erection once against Adam. The pleasure, hot and sudden, made Kris gasp softly.

“Jesus,” Adam breathed, lifting his own hips up to meet Kris’ again. Kris groaned against Adam’s mouth.

Three sudden knocks on their door made them both jump and freeze in place.

“Dudes,” Allison called out. “Come watch the show.”

“Yeah, be right out,” Kris yelled back. He turned to Adam with a terrified look, and Adam was smiling.

“Told you we should have turned off the lights,” he teased, raising his hips up again.

“What the hell are we gonna tell them?” Kris asked, panicked.

“Stop freaking out, hun,” Adam said calmly. “Nobody’s going to know. We were just talking in here.”

Kris tried to calm himself down, rolling off of Adam. “Okay,” he said.

The two men wandered into the living room. Everyone had started watching the show without them, but they didn’t mind missing the intro. Kris made sure to sit as far away from Adam as he could, but couldn’t help looking over at him every few minutes; like he had to be sure he was still there.

If Kris had to choose between Katy and Adam, he knew he’d choose Katy. But, right now he didn’t have to choose. Adam didn’t mind, and Kris knew he didn’t have enough strength to stay away, as much as he wished he could. He loved Katy, but the more he thought about it, the more certain he was that it would be better not to tell her. She wouldn’t understand it even if he did. Adam would be temporary; they’d probably hardly see each other once the show was over, never mind have a chance to be alone together. Kris frowned, trying not to think so far ahead.

This was all decided while Kris glanced back and forth between Adam and the TV. Everything was much easier now that Kris had cleared things up in his head. Maybe his decision wasn’t the right one, but he knew it was the only one he could handle. It felt right enough to him.
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PostSubject: Re: Exciting Game   Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:13 am

Chapter six


It was Tuesday of Rock Week, and just as hectic as always. The idols were busy since the minute they’d woken up, but Kris needed to make time to call Katy. He hadn’t talked to her in a few days and he found himself worrying that she was with someone else. He knew he was being paranoid, but the thought just kept crossing his mind, and he needed to hear her voice.

He walked away after lunch, pulling his phone from his pocket and dialing Katy’s number.

“Hello?” She answered after two rings.

“Hey, it’s me,” Kris started.

“Oh, hi Kris! You really have time to call me on a Tuesday afternoon?” She sounded happy to hear his voice.

“I made time,” Kris said. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” she said. “But I’ll see you after the show today, right?”

They usually got to visit after the show ended, but only for a few minutes. “Yeah,” he said.

“Are you gonna sing well tonight?” Katy asked.

“I hope so,” Kris said. “So, what’ve you been up to?” He bit his lip, not knowing how to ask what he really wanted to know.

“Same-old,” she said dully. “You?”

“Busy all the time,” Kris laughed. “Same-old.”

“How’s Adam?”

Kris flinched. She could tell the two were friends from seeing them on the show, and Kris had told her about how well they were getting along. “He’s fine,” Kris said, wanting to change the subject.

“He must be real excited for rock week,” she said, laughing. “What’s he singing?”

“Um… a Zeppelin song, I think…” Kris looked around, trying to act busy. “Listen, I gotta go get ready now, I’ll talk to you later.”

“See you tonight!”

“Yep, see you tonight. Bye.” Kris hung up and stared at the phone in his hand for a while. He wasn’t able to ask her. He knew she wasn’t cheating but he couldn’t shake the feeling. She seemed pleasant enough on the phone. He stood there for a few more minutes, thinking.

His phone beeped suddenly, and Kris flipped it open. It was a text from Adam: “Whats wrong?”

He smiled. Adam must have seen him standing there and gotten worried. “Nothing just talked to Katy,” he texted back, smirking when he saw the blue nail polish that was still on his thumb from the night before. Flashbacks invaded his memory and he tried to control his breathing. His phone beeped again a few seconds later. “Did u tell her?” the message said. Kris blinked; he was somewhat surprised that Adam was worried about that. He typed back “No” and hit send as he walked to a producer that was motioning him over.

----

Kris and Danny were doing a duet together. Adam and Alison were paired together because they were the two rockers, obviously, while Danny and Kris were just “the other two.” He hated working with Danny, though. He was always smug and confident, which was a little annoying to be around. Kris rehearsed with him just as much as necessary, putting on a friendly smile, because that’s just how he was. Even if Gokey bugged the hell out of him, he’d put on a smile and laugh along.

Adam and Allison seemed to be getting really close, Kris noticed. The three of them had always been good friends on the show, but Allison was always hugging up on Adam now, and they were always together, laughing. He didn’t mind, he told himself. It was just an observation.

----

Later, after the idols had all gotten changed, they walked to the makeup studio. A few minutes after Kris sat in his chair, he got another text from Adam. It said, “R u going to tell her?” The brunette held the phone in his palm for a minute or two, while his makeup artist powdered his face. He eventually typed back saying, “I dont think so.” He leaned back in his chair and sighed, trying not to think about it.

Adam, sitting away on another side of the studio, smiled when he got the text. He and Kris had a secret, and Kris not telling his wife made it much more intimate. He felt guilty, though, when he thought about how it might affect Kris’ marriage. It was painful to think about, and Adam usually avoided the thought, but he knew the guilt must be eating away at Kris. He wasn’t sure what to do about it, he wanted to apologize but it seemed too late for that.

He wouldn’t tell anyone either, Adam decided. It was a situation that was special to them, and nobody else needed to know about it. Nobody else would probably understand the relationship they shared, anyway.

----

American Idol began, and Adam was singing first. Kris almost considered not watching because he knew it would distract him, but he had to see. It was Adam, they were good friends, of course he’d watch him perform. He stood against the wall, giving himself a decent view of the stage, along with a little privacy from everyone else.

Adam walked casually onto the stage while they showed his video clip. He looked just like any rock star should, and he pulled off the look easily. The guitar started playing, and Kris’ eyes didn’t leave Adam for a second. He was sucked into the performance, while he consciously tried not to think about the song’s message. He just watched Adam perform, savoring every second of it, but trying not to hold on to it. He didn’t know what he was doing or thinking, really; the lack of sleep along with stress, stress, and more stress, were all taking their toll on his brain. Adam really knew what he was doing on that stage, he always seemed to, and Kris was even a little jealous of his confidence. Adam finished the song with a bang, and the audience went crazy. Kris let out a heavy breath that he didn’t realize he’d been holding. Everyone was screaming.

The judges praised Adam, as usual, and Kris was more than ready to hug him the second he walked offstage. Adam let him go after a second or two, leaving Kris feeling warm and dizzy. He watched as Adam walked away, hugging everyone else just as enthusiastically.

The duet with Gokey went pretty well, Kris thought. He didn’t like the song, and he didn’t really like performing with Danny, but he put on his cheerful face and just enjoyed being able to sing. It upset him little when Simon told him that Danny sang better than he did, though. He’d have to try harder during his next song, hopefully so he could stay in the competition. He struggled to keep his mind in the present. It still felt like it was spinning out of control.

He wasn’t as focused as he should’ve been when it was his turn to sing “Come Together.” He managed to sing well and get into the music, but he had to try pretty hard not to screw up the words. When it ended, Kris tried to be more focused on what the judges were telling him than he was on where his wife was sitting, and where Adam was standing. He kept wondering if she would be able to see their next offstage hug. He was so scared that she might be able to see the emotions on his face while he was wrapped up in Adam’s arms. The judges gave their feedback, and Kris walked off the stage after Seacrest gave his voting number.

Allison was waiting for him and he hugged her tightly as she said her congratulations. He thanked her, putting on his joyful smile, and tried to spot Adam. The black-haired singer stood a few feet away, smiling proudly and taking a few small steps towards him. Kris walked into his embrace, letting his face hit Adam’s shoulder. He wanted nothing more than to squeeze Adam into him until his arms went numb, so he could possibly be distracted from the pain in his chest and throat, but he held him loosely instead. Adam patted his back and soon pulled Kris away by his shoulders, telling him “good job!” while Kris smiled up at him dumbly.

----

Kris’ body was exhausted, but his mind refused to let him sleep. He, Allison, Danny, and Adam had spent the rest of the night hanging out and watching the show back, and now they’d all finally headed to get some rest. Everyone else was probably sound asleep by now. Adam hadn’t come into his room yet, so Kris assumed he’d just gone to sleep, too.

He felt insecure. All he was able to think about during the show was Adam, but Adam seemed completely confident, focused, and just normal. After what happened last night, Kris’ mind just kept going back to Adam, no matter what he’d try to think about. He didn’t want it to show, though; he didn’t want Adam knowing how easily he could control his mind completely. He wasn’t sure what Adam would think, and he didn’t want to imply anything serious. Sighing, Kris stretched his arm up onto his pillow and rested his head on it. He needed to sleep, but his mind wouldn’t shut down.

The brunette lay there for a few more minutes, breathing slowly and trying to fathom the hugeness of American Idol. It was difficult to do, and Kris was feeling the pressure of it all. Sure, it was a challenge and it drained him physically and mentally, but Kris knew he would never have another opportunity this big. He had to seize this chance. He knew he probably wouldn’t win the show, but he wanted to make it farther, gain a little more fame, before he left the spotlight. His heart skipped a beat when he suddenly heard his door creak open. “Adam,” Kris greeted him, sitting up. He didn’t want to look so pathetically excited to see him, but he couldn’t help it.

“Hey,” Adam said happily, beaming. “I was just talking to Allison for a while. I love her, she’s such a sweetheart.”

Kris smiled. “Yeah, you two have really gotten close.” As Adam sat on his bed, he felt like there was a magnetic pull between them. He wanted to be closer to the older singer, but he kept himself under control.

Adam had showered when they got home, which had washed off most of his makeup. Kris could faintly smell the fruity scent of his shampoo. Adam’s black hair, pushed to one side of his face, hung down to curve around his cheek, and Kris loved the wave that Adam’s hair usually had when the older singer didn’t straighten it. It looked soft, and the texture somehow contrasted with Adam’s sharp, piercing blue eyes. The older singer was looking right at him and Kris felt frozen.

“You did pretty good today,” Adam complimented, looking away finally.

“Not really,” Kris laughed. “I wasn’t as focused as I should’ve been.”

“What was distracting you?”

“Katy,” Kris lied. He really didn’t want Adam to know about the affect he had on him.

Adam frowned, resting his hands on his knees. “I don’t want to break you guys up or anything,” he said.

“I thought you didn’t mind that,” Kris said, scratching at his side lazily.

Adam fidgeted. He looked around the room slowly, at nothing in particular, before he responded. “I feel really bad,” he said.

Kris looked up at him, surprised. “You do?” Adam drummed his fingers over his thighs. Kris hadn’t seen him acting so uncomfortable before.

“I’m not usually like this,” Adam said in a serious and apologetic tone.

Kris looked lost. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t really know how to say this,” Adam half-laughed, running a hand through his hair. “I just feel really bad about everything. I feel completely awful about it.”

“Really?” Kris asked. “You seemed so comfortable with… everything we’re doing.”

“Usually I’m… I mean, I’ve never gone after someone who I couldn’t have before. Someone that’s unavailable,” Adam said, explaining slowly. “I just feel like I came at this whole situation the completely wrong way, you know?”

“Not really,” Kris said. Adam was still too far away from him. He wanted to comfort him or something, he didn’t even know, but Adam was just too far away. Unable to help himself, Kris moved over to lessen the distance between them, just by a little.

“I’ve never wanted someone this badly before,” Adam said suddenly, locking eyes with Kris. “I felt like I had to do whatever it took. Now everything’s a mess.” His eyes looked sad, and Kris could tell he was sincere.

Not knowing how to respond, the brunette looked down in thought. “I guess it sort of is,” he said eventually. Adam sighed, resting his forehead in his palm. “It’s my fault, and I want to tell you… just that I’m really sorry about it all. It’s so selfish of me.”

“It’s not like you forced me,” Kris said. “We both did it.”

“When we first got to the mansion, I was sure you were straight. I knew there was no way it’d ever happen. Especially since you’re married,” Adam explained. “I seriously couldn’t help myself; I still flirted with you all the time. You’re so… fucking cute and you’re just completely the type of guy I’ve always wanted to be with. When you actually flirted back, I could tell you weren’t serious. But just look at what happened. It’s so out of control now.”

Kris listened, nodding while his eyes trailed over the patterns on the bed sheet. “It feels right, though,” he muttered softly.

He looked up and Adam was smiling. The black-haired singer stretched his arm out, scooting over to hook it around Kris’ shoulders. “Does it?” he asked. Kris let his head lean on Adam’s shoulder, and he felt his body loosen. Touching Adam relieved almost all of his anxiety.

“It’s not right,” Kris said. “I know that for a fact. It’s very wrong, by a few different definitions. But… the way it feels when I’m near you, I can’t help but think it’s supposed to be this way. It doesn’t make much sense, but that’s how I feel.”

“What about Katy?” Adam asked. His fingers were playing with Kris’ hair.

“It’s different with her. I mean, I love her,” Kris said, struggling with his words. “I could never leave her. You know how much I love Katy.”

Adam nodded slightly, leaning his cheek on Kris’ hair. “I know,” he said.

“I only just met you,” Kris added.

“I know.”

“I’ve never even been with a guy before. I haven’t really ever been serious with anyone besides Katy.”

“Would you consider this serious?”

Kris paused. “Would you?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Adam said, smiling and trailing his fingers around Kris’ shoulder. “I’m willing to mess around as long as you are. I really like you.”

“You probably do this with people all the time, though,” Kris said, trying not to sound upset. “I’m just one of many, right?”

“I don’t fool around with married guys all the time,” Adam laughed. “But, yeah, I’ve been with a lot of guys before.” Kris frowned into Adam’s shoulder.

“I haven’t,” Kris responded, stating the obvious.

“Did you know you liked guys before this?”

“No. I mean, I’d never really considered it before this.”

“Are you embarrassed?”

“Yeah,” Kris admitted. “I’d really like it if you didn’t mention it to anyone. Not like I think you would… I just don’t want there to be a chance of-”

“Don’t worry,” Adam said. “I know it’s important. I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.”

Kris turned, placing his hand on Adam’s other shoulder and pressing his lips to the older singer’s neck. He took a breath. “I can’t tell Katy. It’d ruin my life.”

Adam frowned. “Kris, you’re making me so sad.”

Kris shrugged. “We’re so different, though,” he mused. “How do we get along so good? It’s just weird.”

“Yeah,” Adam agreed. “It’s probably because you’re so damn nice. It’d be really hard not to get along with you.” He giggled softly when Kris kissed the side of his neck again, ticking him.

“One of us might go home tomorrow,” Kris said sadly. “It’s like a fifty-fifty chance.”

“I really hope not,” Adam replied, lightly shaking his head. “I really hope we don’t.”

“If it happens, it’ll be for the best, probably.”

Adam sighed. “That’s true.”

“I want to stay longer,” Kris said. “Seriously, I might really leave tomorrow.”

“Don’t leave me here with Danny Gokey,” Adam joked. He let himself fall backwards to lie on Kris’ bed. Kris looked down at him. He really didn’t want to leave.

“If this us my last night here,” Kris said in a low voice, “I just want to make the most of it.” He leaned over Adam, brushing their lips together softly.

“Don’t talk like that,” Adam said smiling.

“I’m being serious,” Kris whispered, dropping his head down to start kissing Adam’s neck again.

“I don’t want you to do anything if you think… that you might regret it later.”

Kris lifted his head again, and Adam was watching his expression carefully. Kris smiled. “It’s too late for that,” he said.

“Kris,” Adam said, frowning. “I mean it. I really don’t want to mess around more than we already have if you’re only going to regret it later.”

Kris blinked slowly a few times, looking down at the older singer. “I don’t know what it is, man,” he said. “But I feel like we’re supposed to. I can’t fuckin’ resist it, anyway, even if I wanted to. I need my fix or else I’ll just go nuts thinking about it, you know?”

Adam laughed. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.”

The younger singer looked at him for a few more seconds before leaning down again. He tangled his fingers into Adam’s hair while they kissed sloppily, and Adam pulled Kris down to lie fully on top of him. “I really like you,” Adam breathed into the brunette’s ear. “I don’t want you to go. It’s selfish of me, but I want it to stay like this.”

“I know,” Kris breathed, his voice uneven. He slid his hand under Adam’s shirt, making the older singer shiver. He felt Adam’s body, experimentally rubbing and squeezing his skin, and the black-haired singer moaned quietly.

“Take your shirt off,” Kris whispered down at him. “I wanna see more of you.”

Adam wiggled and squirmed around, pulling his shirt up and over his head. He pulled Kris back down for another kiss as he tossed the shirt to the floor. Kris felt his body heating up, and he pulled his own shirt off. He fell over onto his side, letting his hand wander over Adam more, and Adam brought his own hands to Kris’ chest. He soon rolled Kris onto his back, and lowered his head down to kiss the younger man’s stomach as he lay over him. Kris bucked his hips up with a moan, letting Adam feel how hard he was, but the black-haired singer only smiled and moved up to lick and bite along Kris’ chest. He pinched a nipple and Kris gasped at the sensation, dragging his fingers along Adam’s back and throwing his head back slightly.

“You like this?” Adam asked when Kris arched his chest up. He rolled Kris’ nipple in between his fingers and the brunette gasped softly again.

“S’weird,” Kris breathed.

Adam chuckled. “I think you like it,” he said, and suddenly reached down to squeeze the bulge in Kris’ pants. “Aah-!” Kris moaned a little too loudly. He hadn’t been expecting that. Adam grinned and kept his hand there, stroking Kris slowly through his pants and looking down at him lustfully. Kris licked his lips and drew in heavy breaths, moving his hips up to Adam’s touch.

The black-haired singer then stretched himself over Kris’ body, leaning down to assault the brunette’s mouth with his tongue, and Kris grabbed at Adam’s hair. They stayed like that for a few minutes; kissing desperately and rubbing against one another, breathing in quiet moans.

“What do you want to do?” Adam asked eventually, his lips against Kris’ ear. “I’ll do whatever you want.” The intensity in his voice made Kris’ heart jump in his chest, and his mind flooded with excitement and fear. He didn’t know how to answer.

“What do you want to do?” he asked back, breathing hot against Adam’s neck. Adam sat up and lifted Kris’ lower body, quickly positioning himself to press his crotch between the younger singer’s legs. He groaned, leaning back down to drag his teeth over Kris’ neck, very slowly moving against him. “You know what I want to do,” he whispered.

Kris tried to laugh, but he was so breathless that it hardly came out. He cleared his throat. “What else, besides that?” he said. Adam thrust against him again, and Kris let out a moan. “Not that,” he said again to clarify.

Adam leaned back, looking down at the dazed brunette and letting his hands roam to Kris’ waist. He slipped a hand under his pajama pants, not hesitating for a second to wrap his fingers around Kris’ aching hard-on and stroke it, rough and fast. Kris’ head flew back in an instant, and a dry groan escaped his throat. “Adam-!” he croaked, squeezing his eyes shut. His whole body was in frenzy; every one of his nerves tingled with need and desire, spreading heat like fire on his skin. His back was starting to stick to the bed, and he struggled for a breath. Adam didn’t stop, he watched hungrily as Kris writhed under him.

“You like this?” he asked him, but Kris was too incoherent to put together a response. He bucked his hips up, moaning and panting and struggling because the sensation was so much, too much, but it wasn’t nearly enough. His cock leaked pre-cum and Adam’s fist was catching the moisture, spreading it and sliding his hand more freely, much faster now. The younger singer’s body was twisting upward, his hands clawing at the bed sheets and bunching them in his fists. “Adam, fuck, Adam, fuck,” he heard himself repeating in a low, low whisper under his breath. Adam was rubbing his own erection slowly against Kris, growling. The bed was squeaking under them.

Kris felt himself getting closer, and all of the sensations in his body were intensifying. Adam’s free hand traveled up and pinched, twisted and squeezed Kris’ nipple, and Kris cried out, leaving his mouth open. They were probably being a little too loud, but neither man could have cared less at the moment.

“Gonna come for me, baby?” Adam asked in a harsh, shaky voice. The question almost sounded like a command. Kris nodded, his eyebrows drawn together in a needy, desperate expression.

Kris was so close he felt like he might die. He saw flashes of dark colors under his eyelids, and every muscle in his body felt constricted. Adam’s hand was tight around his cock, and he moved it so fast, so much faster than Katy usually could. It felt unreal. He jerked against Adam’s body and a dry, low-pitched noise came from his throat. Cum spurted onto his stomach, and some spilled over onto the sheets. Adam moaned, and Kris thrust against his hand a few more times, sucking in breaths of air. “Jeez,” he said groggily after a few seconds.

Adam leaned down, trying to catch some of the cum that was spilling down Kris’ side with his tongue. Kris watched him with wide eyes, propping himself up on his elbows. “Doesn’t that taste bad?” he asked, sounding scratchy. Adam lapped up the semen off of the younger man’s stomach, dipping his tongue into Kris’ belly button and kissing, sucking, and biting all over his skin. Kris chuckled.

Adam lifted his head and looked into Kris’ eyes, licking his lips. Kris watched him eagerly, trying to understand. “There’s no way that tastes good,” he said, smiling a little.

“How would you know?” Adam said, crawling over to plant a kiss on the brunette. Kris struggled, but Adam stuck his tongue into his mouth, licking around to share the taste. When he opened his eyes and pulled away, Kris was cringing. “Ew,” he said. “That is nasty as hell.”

“I like it.”

“You’re gay,” Kris teased, and Adam laughed.

“It’s your turn now,” Adam said after a few seconds, grinning.

“I don’t think I have any strength left,” Kris laughed jokingly.

“Should have thought of that before,” Adam said, rubbing against him.

“What do I do?” Kris asked, giving Adam a kiss.

“Touch my cock,” Adam stated obviously. “Or we can do something else, if you want.”

Kris smiled nervously. “Sorry I’m so bad at this,” he sighed. “It’s new to me.” He reached down Adam’s body to tug his pants down, and Adam let out a shaky breath. He grabbed Adam’s cock with his right hand, and Adam moaned, “Yeah,” against his ear.

Kris pushed Adam gently off him, and Adam rolled onto his back with a smile. The brunette leaned over and sucked on Adam’s nipple softly, unsure, while his hand worked along Adam’s erection steadily. Adam moaned and grabbed Kris’ hair, digging his fingers in. The reaction was encouraging, so Kris sucked harder, scraping his teeth along the nipple, too. Adam inhaled sharply, raising his hips into Kris’ hand.

Adam’s skin felt so rough, and his cock was so smooth, and Kris was soon trailing his mouth all around Adam’s chest, shoulders and neck, licking and sucking at his sweet-tasting skin. He loved Adam’s body, and he loved touching him and tasting him.

“Yeah, baby,” Adam moaned in a heavy voice. “Make me feel good.” Kris smiled against Adam’s neck, working his arm the best he could. Up and down, up and down, squeezing and stroking, faster and faster. The way he’d always done it to himself.

Adam was biting his lip, breathing heavily through his nose. Kris spit on his hand, and pumped Adam, even faster. “Fuck yeah,” Adam hissed quietly, moving his hips against Kris’ hand. “That’s so good.”

Kris groaned. Seeing Adam like this was really, really sexy. He put his mouth over Adam’s nipple again, being sure to keep his hand at a quick pace. Adam moaned, a little loudly, as he bucked his hips up more.

“Yeah, yeah, oh fuck yeah,” Adam panted, tangling one hand into Kris’ hair and the other into his own. He moved around desperately, trying to feel more of the touch, getting so, so close. “Haah-!” he moaned, bucking a little more wildly.

Kris was about to ask if Adam was close when the older singer groaned, coming all over his stomach and Kris’ hand. The brunette found himself struggling for breath; he could feel the intensity of Adam’s orgasm as his hips twitched once, twice, three times into his hand.

A few moments of silence followed as both men recovered. Then Adam sighed, wiping sweat from his forehead. “Baby, baby,” he said between deep breaths. “You’re so good at that.”

Kris smiled wide, extremely pleased with himself. He reached for a tissue and wiped his hand clean, and then wiped it over Adam’s stomach. Adam sighed deeply again and leaned over to kiss Kris gratefully. Kris smiled again, and pressed himself against Adam’s heated skin.

“It’s so late,” Kris said. “I haven’t been sleeping at all lately because of you.”

“Yeah,” Adam laughed. “We’ll probably get about two hours of sleep from now on.”

“Wish you could stay here,” Kris said tiredly.

“I think I will,” Adam responded evenly. “If it’s cool with you.”

“Ok, sure,” Kris joked.

“I’m serious. We can lock the door and if Alli or Danny comes to wake us up, you can just say I slept in the other bed. We just stayed up talking.”

Kris laughed, thinking for a second. “Why would we tell them the door was locked?”

“…Oh. Right.” Adam frowned.

“Silly. Now go to your room so we can get a least a little sleep.”

“Now that your bed is all sticky and sweaty,” Adam said, laughing as he got up.

“Gross,” Kris said. “Next time we’re going to your room.”

“Deal.”

“…If I’m still here tomorrow night,” Kris added. He suddenly felt choked up at the thought that there’s a good chance he wouldn’t be.

Adam smiled sadly. “If one of us leaves, we’ll know it’s for the best. Right?”

“Yeah,” Kris said. “Goodnight.”

“Sleep well.” Adam walked quietly out of the room, blowing a kiss before he closed the door.
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PostSubject: Re: Exciting Game   Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:14 am

Chapter seven


The four remaining contestants stood in a line on stage. The lights dimmed as Seacrest walked over holding a card, assuring the audience that the names would be announced in a random order.

“The first person safe tonight,” he said dramatically, “is… Kris Allen!”

Applause, cheering, shouting, and Kris tried to remember if that was his name. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder, Adam’s, and relief swept through him. He fell into Adam’s hug, feeling as if he might fall over. Everyone congratulated him as he smiled brightly. He’d been a mess all day. He was so sure that he would be leaving; he’d been savoring every moment of his day so he would remember it when he went home. But he wasn’t going home. He was staying for another week. He felt blessed that America had so much love for him.

Soon there was another commercial break, and Kris stood up from his safe chair and walked back to everyone else.

“I’m so nervous!” he heard Allison say. “Seriously, dudes, I’m shaking over here.” Adam pulled her close to his chest and pet her hair lovingly. Kris stood near them, watching.

“I hate this damn suspense,” Adam said, and Kris saw the stress on his face. He slid his arm around Adam’s torso, patting Allison’s back with his other hand. Danny laughed as he stood alone, excluded from the three-way hug.

“It’s so good that you’re safe!” Allison said. “I was so scared for you.”

“Thanks, Alli,” Kris said kindly, pulling away slowly. The atmosphere was tense, and a producer motioned for Kris to sit back down before the show came back on.

“Good luck, you guys,” Kris said, sparing a glance in Danny’s direction, too. Danny smiled and nodded, Allison gave a nervous look, and Adam looked back down at her before pulling her into another tight hug.

“If one of us leaves, we’ll know it’s for the best,” Adam had said last night.

Kris’ stomach squirmed in fearful anticipation. He deeply hoped that wasn’t the case. They finally got back to the results, and Adam, Allison, and Danny stood close together, heads down like they were in a huddle.

“…Adam Lambert!” Ryan announced. Everyone cheered and girls in every row of the audience screamed, “I love you, Adam!”

Adam, the tallest one on the stage, stood up straight with a relieved smile. He paused to give a sympathetic hug to Allison and Danny, and walked towards Kris with a mixed expression. Kris was ecstatic, and he put his arm up on Adam’s shoulder when the older singer sat down next to him. He leaned over and said, “Lucky nail polish!” into Adam’s ear, and both men laughed. Kris looked down at his blue thumb; the nail polish was starting to chip off, but it really was giving him some good luck. He was happy he’d decided to keep it on.

Ryan soon announced after a long dramatic pause that Danny was safe, and Kris couldn’t believe it. His eyes started stinging when Allison smiled like it was no big deal, and Danny grinned, patting her on the back. Allison didn’t deserve to go. She was a much more talented singer than he was himself. Kris went from feeling extremely relieved to overwhelmingly guilty. He looked over at Adam, who was holding back tears, too. The show was like living a dream, but it was increasingly difficult to see others getting shot down, all for your own benefit. It was tougher than Kris had ever thought it would be.

After the show ended, Adam held Allison tight, telling her how great she was, how much he loved her. “You know you’re a star,” Adam said to her. “You don’t need this show to tell you that.” Allison looked up and laughed, but it sounded like a small sob. Kris looked on sadly, and then said his goodbyes, too.

----

Living with just Adam and Danny was a little strange at first. The two would usually avoid conversing with each other because of how often they disagreed, so the house was so much quieter without Allison around. Neither Kris nor Adam really wanted to hang out with Danny unless they had to, so they spent a lot more time together.

On Thursday they spent most of their evening watching TV, laughing, and talking about whatever they wanted to. It was still so weird, and continuously surprising, that they tended to agree on most things, and that they got along so well. Conversations flowed smoothly with Adam because he always had something interesting to say. Neither of them talked with negativity either, Kris noticed. Talks between them always stayed pleasant, no matter what the topic. The more time Kris spent with Adam, the more he realized just how much he really, genuinely enjoyed being with him. It wasn’t just lust and attraction that drew him towards Adam, it was friendship too. Kris felt much better about the situation when he thought about it from that perspective.

But then again, it wasn’t Adam’s friendship that had been keeping Kris from getting enough sleep each night.

Tomorrow they would be going back to their hometowns for a visit. Kris had no idea what to expect, but it was definitely exciting. Home felt like a completely different world from Idol. Kris went into his room later that night to pack a few things for the trip back to Arkansas, and Adam soon followed him in cheerfully.

“Busy,” Kris said jokingly, not bothering to look up.

“Did I tell you I’m going back to my high school tomorrow?” Adam said, grinning. “How crazy!”

“You told me,” Kris laughed.

“Why aren’t you excited?!” Adam yelled, throwing his arms around.

“I’m excited,” Kris responded. “I’m just nervous, too.”

“You’re always nervous,” Adam said, rolling his eyes as he walked over to sit on Kris’ bed. “It’ll be fine, there’s nothing to be nervous about!”

“It’s just…” Kris paused, and then laughed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Stop worrying and just have fun.”

Kris nodded. He was nervous about spending a day with Katy, but if he told that to Adam then he’d only get worried and probably feel guilty. Kris hadn’t been able to spend time with Katy in a while, and he couldn’t wait, but he knew he would probably feel guilty around her. Cheating with Adam isn’t something Kris could bring himself to regret, but he would still probably feel completely shitty when he saw his wife again. Telling that to Adam wouldn’t help either of them, so he just kept it to himself.

He sat down next to Adam, and Adam’s arm looped around his waist automatically, pulling him closer. They’d spent so many nights together that these little actions were almost automatic. Kris didn’t mind at all; it felt nice to have that closeness with Adam. It always reminded him that they weren’t doing this because they were horny or because they were lonely. They were together because it was them, it was comfortable, and it felt very natural for them both. Smiling, Kris put his hand on the back of Adam’s head, pulling him down into a quick kiss. His other hand absently played with the bottom hem of Adam’s shirt, occasionally stroking skin briefly with his finger.

“I wish we could just have a day off,” Adam said. “We’re always busy. It’s exhausting. I want to just sit around for a day and do nothing, you know?”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Kris said lazily. “We should get to bed, though. I want to get sleep tonight.”

Adam frowned. “Kiss me for a while first. I won’t get to see you for a couple days.”

Kris chucked loudly. “You better get used to it, man!”

“Don’t laugh at me!” Adam yelled, smacking his hands against Kris’ chest playfully. He pushed Kris backwards and leaned over him quickly, pressing their mouths together. Kris pushed him off, still laughing a little. “Time for bed,” he said. “Go back to your room!”

“Fine, fine, fine,” Adam grumbled. He leaned down once more to steal another kiss. He stayed that way for a few more seconds before saying, “’Night.”

“Wait, stay a little longer,” Kris blurted out, holding Adam down on him. “I changed my mind.”

Adam laughed happily. “You can’t resist my charm at all.” He brought his mouth down onto Kris’ neck, tasting him.

“Whatever,” Kris said, lifting his chin so Adam could access more of his neck. He let his hands slide down the black-haired singer’s body and quietly gasped as Adam bit him, right under his jaw line. His hands slid under Adam’s shirt and felt up the smooth skin of his back. “You feel nice,” he said, his voice heavy.

“Today was scary,” Adam breathed against his neck, rubbing his body briefly against Kris’. Kris felt himself start to sweat a little as his skin heated up, fast. He nodded his head in response, closing his eyes and trying not to breathe too loudly.

Adam kissed him suddenly, and Kris felt strong, quick hands starting to work on his belt. He tried to pull away from Adam’s mouth to protest, but Adam kissed him harder, keeping him quiet. Kris’ belt and pants were soon undone, and Adam broke the kiss to look down at Kris lustfully.

“I’m glad we’re both still here,” he said, reaching his hand down Kris’ pants to stroke the skin on his inner thighs. Kris choked on his breath and thrust his hips up at the air, and Adam giggled teasingly, touching and rubbing every part of Kris’ skin around his cock.

“Come on,” Kris whined, his hips twitching helplessly. Adam ran a finger, very lightly, over Kris’ length. Kris inhaled and Adam smiled, licking his lips.

“Kris, you still up?” Danny called out. He was walking towards Kris’ room. The door was still open. The warmth of Adam’s body left as the black-haired singer slid quickly off of him, all before Kris had time to react. Danny’s footsteps were close, and Kris tried desperately to zip his pants back up. He leaned forward, letting his shirt cover up his undone belt before Danny peeked his head in.

“Hey guys,” Danny greeted when he stood at the doorway. His eyes moved from Adam to Kris, back and forth, and his smile was slowly fading. Kris’ heart pounded in his chest and he knew he looked guilty. Adam was sitting comfortably next to him, smiling casually. “Hey,” Kris said, managing to make his voice sound even.

“You okay?” Danny asked, unsure. He looked completely confused.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Kris responded hurriedly. “What’s up?”

“You’re beet red,” Danny pointed out, laughing nervously. Kris felt sweat creep down his neck, and Danny shook his head lightly, apparently letting it go, or maybe trying to shake any crazy theories that might’ve been collecting in his brain. “Hah, nevermind, I was just coming to say goodnight to you guys. You all packed for tomorrow?”

Kris swallowed, trying so hard not to look uncomfortable. He lifted his arm to scratch at the back of his head, cracking a smile. “Yeah, sorry, I was just talking to Adam about stuff. I’m mostly packed, what about you?”

“I’m all ready to go to Milwaukee,” Danny said, grinning. His eyes traveled between Kris to Adam still. “Where are you going again?” he asked Adam.

“San Diego,” Adam said. “I still need to finish packing my stuff.”

Danny nodded slowly, leaning awkwardly against the doorway. “Cool, cool,” he muttered. “Well goodnight, you guys.”

“Yeah, goodnight,” Kris said. He hoped he wasn’t speaking too loud; it was harder to hear with his pulse pounding in his ears.

“Sleep well,” Adam added as Danny walked off.

“Jesusfuckingchrist-” Kris said under his breath when he couldn’t hear Danny’s footsteps anymore. Adam tried to hold back a laugh, and he quickly turned to try and lean himself back over Kris’ body, but Kris pushed him away. “What’re you doing, Adam? Close the fucking door!”

“Calm down, Kris,” Adam laughed. “Danny won’t be coming back.”

“We should’ve had the door closed! Did you see his face?!”

“Don’t worry; you covered it up pretty good.”

“This is bad!” Kris grabbed at the sides of his head, looking up in frantic thought.

“Kris,” Adam said more seriously. “It’s completely fine. Danny doesn’t know anything.”

“Adam! He just fucking walked in on us!”

“He didn’t walk in on anything. We were sitting here.”

“Looking guilty as hell!”

Adam hooked an arm around Kris’ neck, pulling them close together. “Maybe you were. But you told him we were talking about stuff. It was a good excuse.”

“Do you have any idea what would’ve happened if he’d walked in earlier?”

“It’s fine,” Adam comforted, rubbing his scalp. “He didn’t walk in earlier, so everything’s fine. We’ll remember to close the door from now on, right?”

“Fuck you,” Kris said, burying his face into Adam’s shoulder. He didn’t think he’d ever been so scared in his entire life. The scenario of Danny walking in sooner kept flashing through his head. It was the worst thing he could imagine, and it had just almost happened.

“It’s completely fine,” Adam repeated calmly. “Want me to close the door now?”

Kris thought for a moment. “It’s probably time for bed. You should go to your room.”

“You mean it this time?” Adam said, laughing quietly.

“Yeah, man, we need sleep. We’ve gotta be up by like six.”

“Alright,” Adam said, standing up. “See you tomorrow.”

Kris fell back onto his bed. “’Night,” he said back.

----

Kris woke up at 4:46 AM. He must have fallen asleep with his mouth open, because his throat was so dry that it had actually woken him up. It was painful, and Kris eased out of bed to walk to the bathroom. The kitchen was too far away, and he only needed some water. He flicked on the light switch and the brightness burned his eyes; he could barely see. Squinting tightly, he wandered to the sink and turned the water on before leaning over to drink from the faucet. The cold water felt incredible on his throat, and he drank until his stomach felt full. Standing back up with a content sigh, Kris turned off the water and wiped his face with a towel. He only had about another hour to sleep before he’d have to get back up.

Instead of walking back to his own room, he walked straight to Adam’s, not bothering to sneak around. He heard Adam wake up when he walked over a squeaky floorboard, and he took another two steps to stand next to the older singer’s bed.

“Come here,” Adam slurred. He almost sounded like he was still asleep. Kris happily slid into his bed, throwing his arm over Adam’s shoulder. “Hey,” he said.

“Am I dreaming?” Adam asked, sounding a little more awake. “What’re you doing in my bed in the middle of the night?”

“It’s almost 5 in the morning,” Kris said, correcting him. “I’m not tired.”

“I was just having a vivid dream about you,” Adam said. He placed a hand on Kris’ lower back and pulled him closer, brushing their lips together before kissing him hungrily.

“What kind of dream?” Kris whispered after he pulled away from the kiss.

“The best kind,” Adam replied sleepily.

“Tell me about it,” Kris said, interested. “What were we doing?”

“Can I show you?” Adam asked, opening his eyes to look at Kris’ face.

Kris paused, a blush heating his cheeks. “Well, tell me first.”

“It’s not too bad,” Adam said. “Let me show you.”

“Fine,” Kris said with a smile. “Show me.”

Adam grabbed Kris’ hand, and pressed their bodies together even closer. Holding the brunette’s hand gently, Adam pressed it against his stomach and slid it downward. Kris swallowed and closed his eyes, so he could better feel Adam’s skin sliding under his fingers. Adam’s hand guided his, sliding under the waistband of his pants, then his briefs. Kris moaned when Adam wrapped their hands around his stiff erection, and he heard Adam’s breaths becoming strained. He opened his eyes and Adam was biting his lip, looking down as he moved Kris’ hand back and forth along his cock.

“You’re so sexy,” Kris said in awe.

Adam looked at him, and then looked down again. “This feels really good,” he said. This voice was shaky and quiet. “It feels better than it did in the dream.” His breath rattled out of his lungs, and he drew it back in with a hiss, arching his back and moving his and Kris’ hand faster.

“Adam, oh God,” Kris breathed. “This is so fucking hot.” He was watching as Adam basically jerked himself off, only he was able to feel all of the movements through his own hand. “This is so hot, Adam,” he said again, moving his hips forward to rub himself against the older singer’s body, feeling some of the friction of Adam’s hand working.

“Yeah,” Adam said with a grunt, pumping himself even faster. “Your hand feels fucking great.” He rubbed Kris’ hand over the head of his cock, squeezing Kris’ fingers against it, before thrusting himself against into their hands again. His cock was starting to get slippery, and Adam moved their hands in time with his thrusts, getting as much friction as possible. Kris was so turned on he couldn’t think straight. He wanted so badly to feel all that great moisture and pressure over his own cock. He rubbed himself against Adam more passionately, moaning when Adam did, but a little louder. He watched and listened as Adam shook, making some of the most beautiful sounds he’d ever heard.

“Can I come?” Adam asked him, panting hot air against his face.

“Yeah,” Kris moaned, the word stretching on until it was a rough, needy sound deep in his throat. Adam jerked his hips forward as Kris did the same, desperately trying to feel some of that friction; he needed it so badly. Adam’s mouth opened with a shallow gasp as he tightened Kris’ hand around his cock and came. His body twitched, and Kris felt like he was shaking, too. He watched as Adam moaned and squirmed, and he felt hot cum dripping on his fingers and on his stomach.

He kissed Adam fiercely, rolling his tongue in the older singer’s mouth and sucking on his lips, panting and moaning his name and humping him shamelessly. Adam kissed back lazily, still on a cloud. Kris felt like he could come just by rubbing his cock against Adam if he wanted to, even through their clothing. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so turned on before.

“Did you like that?” Adam asked huskily.

“Yes,” Kris answered in a shaky breath, still rubbing desperately against him. “That was the hottest thing… ever.”

Adam laughed with a hum, and held Kris’ hips still. “Lie down,” he said. Kris rolled over to lie on his back, and Adam took his hand again. He watched as the older singer took his index finger into his mouth and sucked it, licking some cum off of it. Kris’ breathing sped up and his eyes widened. Adam put his free hand over Kris’ crotch, rubbing him gently as he took another finger and slipped it through his lips. Kris let his head fall back onto the pillow as he eased his hips up and down against Adam’s touch, enjoying the added feel of Adam’s mouth on his hand. He couldn’t help but wish that mouth was sucking on him somewhere else.

The older singer licked Kris’ palm with a smooth swipe, and kissed in between his knuckles, getting every bit of sperm off his skin. Kris waited impatiently for Adam’s attention to get back to his crotch, and bucked his hips as a reminder. Adam still took his sweet time, smiling. When he finished cleaning Kris’ hand, he let it fall onto the bed and he moved down to kiss Kris’ collarbone. Adam moved down further, tasting Kris’ nipple briefly and earning a heavy and shuddering sigh, before the kissed his way down to the brunette’s belly. Kris knew where this was going, and he knew it was exactly what he wanted, more than anything in the entire world. Adam’s hair fell onto his skin and brushed against him softly. He arched his back and rolled his hips up, urging Adam to move lower, now. Adam complied and his steady, graceful fingers pulled Kris’ pants down, and Kris felt the urge to shiver when his cock met the cool air of Adam’s bedroom.

“Do you want me to?” Adam asked politely, but kept his mouth very close to Kris’ aching erection, teasing him. There way no way Kris would have say no, and both men knew it.

Kris moaned, and moved his hips again. “Please,” he said, burying his fingers in Adam’s hair. Adam wrapped his lips immediately around the side of Kris’ cock, licking as he slid his mouth up to the tip. Kris panted and moved helplessly, needing more, needing much, much more. Adam licked again, expertly, from base to tip, before slipping Kris’ head into his mouth and sucking gently.

“Fu-uck,” Kris gasped, stretching the word as he arched his body and grabbed handfuls of Adam’s jet black hair. He was already so close, he wasn’t sure he could last much longer. Lowering his head to take more of Kris into his mouth, Adam hummed and let his hands travel over Kris’ thighs, squeezing.

When Adam’s tongue slid over and pressed against Kris’ slit, he knew he couldn’t hold on anymore. He made a high-pitched, whining groan and grabbed and clenched at Adam’s hair. Adam moved his mouth up and down, fast, as Kris tried to form a sentence.

“I-… I’m gonna co-” Kris tried to say, his voice cracking and the words trailing off into gasps and throaty moans. Adam moved faster, holding Kris’ thighs firmly as his head smoothly bobbed up and down. Kris panted, his eyes tightly shut, and Adam felt warm liquid shooting into his mouth. He drank it eagerly and trailed his tongue all over Kris’ cock, sucking, until Kris relaxed and his body fell back down onto the bed.

Kris sighed with a huff, and Adam lifted his head to smirk at him. “You’re good at that,” Kris said, amazed.

“Yeah,” Adam said with a laugh. “Well, you know.”

Kris stared at the ceiling. “Did that really just happen?” he asked, breathing.

“I think so.” Adam giggled quietly and licked his lips.

“Time is it?” Kris asked lazily, turning his head to catch a glimpse at the alarm clock. It was 5:19 AM. He laughed softly.

“What’s funny?” Adam asked, crawling up to lie next to him.

“We still have like 40 minutes before we have to get up,” Kris said. “Wanna go back to sleep?”

“Not tired,” Adam said, leaning forward to kiss the younger singer sloppily.

“Me neither,” Kris said between kisses. They both slid their arms freely along each other’s bodies, and Kris said, “Wouldn’t it be awesome if we made the top two?” Adam giggled and kissed his cheek.

“We could have this whole place to ourselves,” Kris said, smiling at the thought. “I don’t wanna get my hopes up or anything, but that would be pretty sweet, wouldn’t it?”

“I’d like that,” Adam said simply, grabbing Kris’ hips and jerking him forward playfully. Kris looked into his eyes, and wondered if Adam wasn’t his favorite person in the world.

----

When 6 AM came around, Kris and Adam got up, showered, ate breakfast, and prepared to go to their hometowns. Danny treated them like normal, Kris noticed, which was a relief, and it helped him to calm down slightly about last night’s ordeal.

The three men squeezed into a limo that drove them to the airport. Kris and Adam sat next to each other and spent the ride talking about what they expected or hoped to see during their visits. Kris slowly became more excited about it; all the fans, seeing his family, and being on the news all seemed pretty fun. When they went separate ways to board their flights, Adam and Kris exchanged a brief smile good-bye, and Kris waved to Danny.

----

The flight took a really long time, and Kris loved every second of it. He relaxed, got an hour or two of sleep, and was able to finally have some calm, private time with his thoughts. He thought of the show, of Adam, of his songs and singing, of Adam. He thought of Danny Gokey, he thought of Adam, he thought of the judges, he thought of the musicians, and he thought even more about Adam.

What was there to think about? He knew what was happening. He knew it wasn’t right, he already knew that, but traveling away from Adam and back to his wife and family made it seem… so much more wrong than it had before. His life had changed so much on Idol, and Adam had been there as Kris became a different person. Now he felt as if Adam knew him better than his own family did.

He felt uncomfortable now. His relationship with Adam was something he’d thought about a million times before, and he knew that Adam would always, somehow, be a part of his life. He knew that he wanted Adam, badly, but he’d somehow just assumed that the fixation, the need, would be temporary; it would be something that would soon run itself out of his system when he’d had enough, like having a craving. He’d been wrong. The more he got from Adam, the more he wanted. Kris had just thought that it would stop after he got his fix, but it had only left him feeling more, wanting more of Adam near him, touching him, holding him. Was this addiction?

Kris had told Adam a few weeks ago that he was addicted to him, as cheesy as it sounded. At the time he thought it was the truth, but that feeling was nothing compared to how Kris felt around Adam now. Kris had never really taken addictive drugs before, and he’d never developed an addiction to anything, so he didn’t know what it felt like. This must be it, he thought. He couldn’t imagine addiction could feel more powerful than the intensity of the pure want he experienced when he was with Adam Lambert.

The more he thought about his relationship with Adam, the more he missed him already. That was just plain sad.

----

His plane landed in Little Rock, but he soon went to a hotel for the night; the real homecoming trip would begin tomorrow. The hotel room was dark and lonely. He kept opening his eyes just as he was about to drift into sleep, half-waiting for his door to creak open. It was a strange habit he’d formed, not being able to fall asleep until Adam came to see him. He forced his eyes shut and slept face-down, throwing the sheet over his head.

----

The next day was crazy. Kris navigated through mazes of shrieking fans, signing so many posters, pictures, and papers that his hand began moving to shape his signature without Kris having to think about it at all. Cameras were shoved into his face every other second, and Kris glued a smile on his face. When he was able to slide into his limo for a break from the noise, he couldn’t relax his face completely. It was a little scary at first, but after a few hours of being in Conway he got used to his face feeling stiff.

When he first saw Katy, he hugged her like he hadn’t seen her in years. He squeezed her against his chest, feeling her golden hair and warm skin, reminding himself that this was his wife, the love of his life, and he loved her more than anything. She soon jabbed him in the side, and the first words she said to him were, “Kris, hun, let me go!”

He pulled away from her, embarrassed. “Sorry,” he said, eyes wide, taking her in.

“I missed you too,” she said, her smile lighting up her face. “But you’re gonna make me pass out if you hug me like that again!”

Kris half-smiled, pulling her into a gentler hug. He hadn’t realized the difference between her and Adam’s hugs until then. Adam’s were so much rougher, and felt more meaningful and satisfying. He never thought man-hugs would be something he enjoyed so much. He shook his head at the thought, and gave Katy a sweet peck on the lips when she pulled away from the hug. He’d missed seeing her skin glowing in the sunlight; she was so gorgeous.

He and Katy rode on the back of a car like a celebrity couple, surrounded by fans left and right, and it rained confetti. He waved, grinning humbly at the screaming teenagers, and he didn’t have time to think of anything other than the present. It was nice to not have to think for the time being, but he was waiting for some kind of terrible guilt to set in. He was relieved when it didn’t.

Later, Kris was driven to meet up with his family. They were all crowded around outside his parents’ house in a mob of familiar, warm faces, and Kris was so happy to see them all. He grabbed his dad into a hug first, swaying as he buried his head into his shoulder. His dad was crying, and Kris smiled at how emotional he always was.

“Love you, Dad,” he said quietly into his ear, rubbing his back. His father muttered something about being so proud of him in between small sobs, and Kris smiled big. The reunion felt a lot less real with all the cameras around, and Kris found that he wasn’t able to enjoy it fully. He managed to make it look like he was overwhelmingly happy, though, so his family was pleased with their meeting. He sighed, and part of him wished that American Idol didn’t have to change his life quite so much. He’d never get to be just another guy again, no matter how much he would probably soon want to be.

The rest of the day went according to Kris’ predetermined schedule, and he revisited some of his favorite places, and met a ton more people. The high energy that surrounded him was more than enough to keep a solid grin on his face.

----

He slept in another hotel that night, and sorted through all of the day’s excitement. Seeing Katy was great, and Kris honestly wished they could’ve spent more time together. He tried not to compare Katy and Adam, but his mind kept jumping between them, back and forth, and he couldn’t help but notice how they felt like two completely separate universes. His breath caught whenever he recalled his morning with Adam two days ago, and comparing that to sex with Katy seemed near impossible. He couldn’t compare them; they were so, so different.

Katy was his life, his entire life. Up until American Idol. Now his life was Adam, and that just wasn’t okay.

He shook his head back and forth. It needed to stop. Any sort of future with Adam wouldn’t be possible, so why the fuck was he screwing up his life and wasting his time with him? He knew the answer, but suddenly it didn’t seem good enough. Adam was amazing, and so sexy that it shouldn’t even be allowed, and Kris adored him. He loved talking to him and being around him, and he especially loved fooling around with him. Everything about Adam made Kris’ brain whirl with pleasure and excitement.

Kris lay awake, thinking, and he knew he had to end it. The thrill of being with Adam was great, but it definitely wasn’t worth jeopardizing his entire life and future with Katy. It would be really difficult, but he knew he had to stick to it. If things kept on the way they were, Kris knew he would end up ashamed, guilty, and just fucked up. Stopping now could be his way of redeeming himself, somewhat. His time with Adam was undeniably fun, but he had to stop and get serious.

His cell phone lit up, buzzing on the nightstand. Kris reached for it and flipped it open. A text from Adam. He sat for a minute, wondering what it might say, before opening it. It said “Hows ur visit going? Miss me yet?” Looking at it almost made Kris feel sick, both from guilt and fear. He’d let this whole thing go way too far. “No, I need to talk to u when we get back,” he texted back. He swallowed hard before hitting send. Breaking his addiction was going to be painful.

He closed his eyes, and quietly prayed to God for strength to help him through it. He knew he’d need it.
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PostSubject: Re: Exciting Game   Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:15 am

Chapter eight


The four remaining contestants stood in a line on stage. The lights dimmed as Seacrest walked over holding a card, assuring the audience that the names would be announced in a random order.

“The first person safe tonight,” he said dramatically, “is… Kris Allen!”

Applause, cheering, shouting, and Kris tried to remember if that was his name. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder, Adam’s, and relief swept through him. He fell into Adam’s hug, feeling as if he might fall over. Everyone congratulated him as he smiled brightly. He’d been a mess all day. He was so sure that he would be leaving; he’d been savoring every moment of his day so he would remember it when he went home. But he wasn’t going home. He was staying for another week. He felt blessed that America had so much love for him.

Soon there was another commercial break, and Kris stood up from his safe chair and walked back to everyone else.

“I’m so nervous!” he heard Allison say. “Seriously, dudes, I’m shaking over here.” Adam pulled her close to his chest and pet her hair lovingly. Kris stood near them, watching.

“I hate this damn suspense,” Adam said, and Kris saw the stress on his face. He slid his arm around Adam’s torso, patting Allison’s back with his other hand. Danny laughed as he stood alone, excluded from the three-way hug.

“It’s so good that you’re safe!” Allison said. “I was so scared for you.”

“Thanks, Alli,” Kris said kindly, pulling away slowly. The atmosphere was tense, and a producer motioned for Kris to sit back down before the show came back on.

“Good luck, you guys,” Kris said, sparing a glance in Danny’s direction, too. Danny smiled and nodded, Allison gave a nervous look, and Adam looked back down at her before pulling her into another tight hug.

“If one of us leaves, we’ll know it’s for the best,” Adam had said last night.

Kris’ stomach squirmed in fearful anticipation. He deeply hoped that wasn’t the case. They finally got back to the results, and Adam, Allison, and Danny stood close together, heads down like they were in a huddle.

“…Adam Lambert!” Ryan announced. Everyone cheered and girls in every row of the audience screamed, “I love you, Adam!”

Adam, the tallest one on the stage, stood up straight with a relieved smile. He paused to give a sympathetic hug to Allison and Danny, and walked towards Kris with a mixed expression. Kris was ecstatic, and he put his arm up on Adam’s shoulder when the older singer sat down next to him. He leaned over and said, “Lucky nail polish!” into Adam’s ear, and both men laughed. Kris looked down at his blue thumb; the nail polish was starting to chip off, but it really was giving him some good luck. He was happy he’d decided to keep it on.

Ryan soon announced after a long dramatic pause that Danny was safe, and Kris couldn’t believe it. His eyes started stinging when Allison smiled like it was no big deal, and Danny grinned, patting her on the back. Allison didn’t deserve to go. She was a much more talented singer than he was himself. Kris went from feeling extremely relieved to overwhelmingly guilty. He looked over at Adam, who was holding back tears, too. The show was like living a dream, but it was increasingly difficult to see others getting shot down, all for your own benefit. It was tougher than Kris had ever thought it would be.

After the show ended, Adam held Allison tight, telling her how great she was, how much he loved her. “You know you’re a star,” Adam said to her. “You don’t need this show to tell you that.” Allison looked up and laughed, but it sounded like a small sob. Kris looked on sadly, and then said his goodbyes, too.

----

Living with just Adam and Danny was a little strange at first. The two would usually avoid conversing with each other because of how often they disagreed, so the house was so much quieter without Allison around. Neither Kris nor Adam really wanted to hang out with Danny unless they had to, so they spent a lot more time together.

On Thursday they spent most of their evening watching TV, laughing, and talking about whatever they wanted to. It was still so weird, and continuously surprising, that they tended to agree on most things, and that they got along so well. Conversations flowed smoothly with Adam because he always had something interesting to say. Neither of them talked with negativity either, Kris noticed. Talks between them always stayed pleasant, no matter what the topic. The more time Kris spent with Adam, the more he realized just how much he really, genuinely enjoyed being with him. It wasn’t just lust and attraction that drew him towards Adam, it was friendship too. Kris felt much better about the situation when he thought about it from that perspective.

But then again, it wasn’t Adam’s friendship that had been keeping Kris from getting enough sleep each night.

Tomorrow they would be going back to their hometowns for a visit. Kris had no idea what to expect, but it was definitely exciting. Home felt like a completely different world from Idol. Kris went into his room later that night to pack a few things for the trip back to Arkansas, and Adam soon followed him in cheerfully.

“Busy,” Kris said jokingly, not bothering to look up.

“Did I tell you I’m going back to my high school tomorrow?” Adam said, grinning. “How crazy!”

“You told me,” Kris laughed.

“Why aren’t you excited?!” Adam yelled, throwing his arms around.

“I’m excited,” Kris responded. “I’m just nervous, too.”

“You’re always nervous,” Adam said, rolling his eyes as he walked over to sit on Kris’ bed. “It’ll be fine, there’s nothing to be nervous about!”

“It’s just…” Kris paused, and then laughed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Stop worrying and just have fun.”

Kris nodded. He was nervous about spending a day with Katy, but if he told that to Adam then he’d only get worried and probably feel guilty. Kris hadn’t been able to spend time with Katy in a while, and he couldn’t wait, but he knew he would probably feel guilty around her. Cheating with Adam isn’t something Kris could bring himself to regret, but he would still probably feel completely shitty when he saw his wife again. Telling that to Adam wouldn’t help either of them, so he just kept it to himself.

He sat down next to Adam, and Adam’s arm looped around his waist automatically, pulling him closer. They’d spent so many nights together that these little actions were almost automatic. Kris didn’t mind at all; it felt nice to have that closeness with Adam. It always reminded him that they weren’t doing this because they were horny or because they were lonely. They were together because it was them, it was comfortable, and it felt very natural for them both. Smiling, Kris put his hand on the back of Adam’s head, pulling him down into a quick kiss. His other hand absently played with the bottom hem of Adam’s shirt, occasionally stroking skin briefly with his finger.

“I wish we could just have a day off,” Adam said. “We’re always busy. It’s exhausting. I want to just sit around for a day and do nothing, you know?”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Kris said lazily. “We should get to bed, though. I want to get sleep tonight.”

Adam frowned. “Kiss me for a while first. I won’t get to see you for a couple days.”

Kris chucked loudly. “You better get used to it, man!”

“Don’t laugh at me!” Adam yelled, smacking his hands against Kris’ chest playfully. He pushed Kris backwards and leaned over him quickly, pressing their mouths together. Kris pushed him off, still laughing a little. “Time for bed,” he said. “Go back to your room!”

“Fine, fine, fine,” Adam grumbled. He leaned down once more to steal another kiss. He stayed that way for a few more seconds before saying, “’Night.”

“Wait, stay a little longer,” Kris blurted out, holding Adam down on him. “I changed my mind.”

Adam laughed happily. “You can’t resist my charm at all.” He brought his mouth down onto Kris’ neck, tasting him.

“Whatever,” Kris said, lifting his chin so Adam could access more of his neck. He let his hands slide down the black-haired singer’s body and quietly gasped as Adam bit him, right under his jaw line. His hands slid under Adam’s shirt and felt up the smooth skin of his back. “You feel nice,” he said, his voice heavy.

“Today was scary,” Adam breathed against his neck, rubbing his body briefly against Kris’. Kris felt himself start to sweat a little as his skin heated up, fast. He nodded his head in response, closing his eyes and trying not to breathe too loudly.

Adam kissed him suddenly, and Kris felt strong, quick hands starting to work on his belt. He tried to pull away from Adam’s mouth to protest, but Adam kissed him harder, keeping him quiet. Kris’ belt and pants were soon undone, and Adam broke the kiss to look down at Kris lustfully.

“I’m glad we’re both still here,” he said, reaching his hand down Kris’ pants to stroke the skin on his inner thighs. Kris choked on his breath and thrust his hips up at the air, and Adam giggled teasingly, touching and rubbing every part of Kris’ skin around his cock.

“Come on,” Kris whined, his hips twitching helplessly. Adam ran a finger, very lightly, over Kris’ length. Kris inhaled and Adam smiled, licking his lips.

“Kris, you still up?” Danny called out. He was walking towards Kris’ room. The door was still open. The warmth of Adam’s body left as the black-haired singer slid quickly off of him, all before Kris had time to react. Danny’s footsteps were close, and Kris tried desperately to zip his pants back up. He leaned forward, letting his shirt cover up his undone belt before Danny peeked his head in.

“Hey guys,” Danny greeted when he stood at the doorway. His eyes moved from Adam to Kris, back and forth, and his smile was slowly fading. Kris’ heart pounded in his chest and he knew he looked guilty. Adam was sitting comfortably next to him, smiling casually. “Hey,” Kris said, managing to make his voice sound even.

“You okay?” Danny asked, unsure. He looked completely confused.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Kris responded hurriedly. “What’s up?”

“You’re beet red,” Danny pointed out, laughing nervously. Kris felt sweat creep down his neck, and Danny shook his head lightly, apparently letting it go, or maybe trying to shake any crazy theories that might’ve been collecting in his brain. “Hah, nevermind, I was just coming to say goodnight to you guys. You all packed for tomorrow?”

Kris swallowed, trying so hard not to look uncomfortable. He lifted his arm to scratch at the back of his head, cracking a smile. “Yeah, sorry, I was just talking to Adam about stuff. I’m mostly packed, what about you?”

“I’m all ready to go to Milwaukee,” Danny said, grinning. His eyes traveled between Kris to Adam still. “Where are you going again?” he asked Adam.

“San Diego,” Adam said. “I still need to finish packing my stuff.”

Danny nodded slowly, leaning awkwardly against the doorway. “Cool, cool,” he muttered. “Well goodnight, you guys.”

“Yeah, goodnight,” Kris said. He hoped he wasn’t speaking too loud; it was harder to hear with his pulse pounding in his ears.

“Sleep well,” Adam added as Danny walked off.

“Jesusfuckingchrist-” Kris said under his breath when he couldn’t hear Danny’s footsteps anymore. Adam tried to hold back a laugh, and he quickly turned to try and lean himself back over Kris’ body, but Kris pushed him away. “What’re you doing, Adam? Close the fucking door!”

“Calm down, Kris,” Adam laughed. “Danny won’t be coming back.”

“We should’ve had the door closed! Did you see his face?!”

“Don’t worry; you covered it up pretty good.”

“This is bad!” Kris grabbed at the sides of his head, looking up in frantic thought.

“Kris,” Adam said more seriously. “It’s completely fine. Danny doesn’t know anything.”

“Adam! He just fucking walked in on us!”

“He didn’t walk in on anything. We were sitting here.”

“Looking guilty as hell!”

Adam hooked an arm around Kris’ neck, pulling them close together. “Maybe you were. But you told him we were talking about stuff. It was a good excuse.”

“Do you have any idea what would’ve happened if he’d walked in earlier?”

“It’s fine,” Adam comforted, rubbing his scalp. “He didn’t walk in earlier, so everything’s fine. We’ll remember to close the door from now on, right?”

“Fuck you,” Kris said, burying his face into Adam’s shoulder. He didn’t think he’d ever been so scared in his entire life. The scenario of Danny walking in sooner kept flashing through his head. It was the worst thing he could imagine, and it had just almost happened.

“It’s completely fine,” Adam repeated calmly. “Want me to close the door now?”

Kris thought for a moment. “It’s probably time for bed. You should go to your room.”

“You mean it this time?” Adam said, laughing quietly.

“Yeah, man, we need sleep. We’ve gotta be up by like six.”

“Alright,” Adam said, standing up. “See you tomorrow.”

Kris fell back onto his bed. “’Night,” he said back.

----

Kris woke up at 4:46 AM. He must have fallen asleep with his mouth open, because his throat was so dry that it had actually woken him up. It was painful, and Kris eased out of bed to walk to the bathroom. The kitchen was too far away, and he only needed some water. He flicked on the light switch and the brightness burned his eyes; he could barely see. Squinting tightly, he wandered to the sink and turned the water on before leaning over to drink from the faucet. The cold water felt incredible on his throat, and he drank until his stomach felt full. Standing back up with a content sigh, Kris turned off the water and wiped his face with a towel. He only had about another hour to sleep before he’d have to get back up.

Instead of walking back to his own room, he walked straight to Adam’s, not bothering to sneak around. He heard Adam wake up when he walked over a squeaky floorboard, and he took another two steps to stand next to the older singer’s bed.

“Come here,” Adam slurred. He almost sounded like he was still asleep. Kris happily slid into his bed, throwing his arm over Adam’s shoulder. “Hey,” he said.

“Am I dreaming?” Adam asked, sounding a little more awake. “What’re you doing in my bed in the middle of the night?”

“It’s almost 5 in the morning,” Kris said, correcting him. “I’m not tired.”

“I was just having a vivid dream about you,” Adam said. He placed a hand on Kris’ lower back and pulled him closer, brushing their lips together before kissing him hungrily.

“What kind of dream?” Kris whispered after he pulled away from the kiss.

“The best kind,” Adam replied sleepily.

“Tell me about it,” Kris said, interested. “What were we doing?”

“Can I show you?” Adam asked, opening his eyes to look at Kris’ face.

Kris paused, a blush heating his cheeks. “Well, tell me first.”

“It’s not too bad,” Adam said. “Let me show you.”

“Fine,” Kris said with a smile. “Show me.”

Adam grabbed Kris’ hand, and pressed their bodies together even closer. Holding the brunette’s hand gently, Adam pressed it against his stomach and slid it downward. Kris swallowed and closed his eyes, so he could better feel Adam’s skin sliding under his fingers. Adam’s hand guided his, sliding under the waistband of his pants, then his briefs. Kris moaned when Adam wrapped their hands around his stiff erection, and he heard Adam’s breaths becoming strained. He opened his eyes and Adam was biting his lip, looking down as he moved Kris’ hand back and forth along his cock.

“You’re so sexy,” Kris said in awe.

Adam looked at him, and then looked down again. “This feels really good,” he said. This voice was shaky and quiet. “It feels better than it did in the dream.” His breath rattled out of his lungs, and he drew it back in with a hiss, arching his back and moving his and Kris’ hand faster.

“Adam, oh God,” Kris breathed. “This is so fucking hot.” He was watching as Adam basically jerked himself off, only he was able to feel all of the movements through his own hand. “This is so hot, Adam,” he said again, moving his hips forward to rub himself against the older singer’s body, feeling some of the friction of Adam’s hand working.

“Yeah,” Adam said with a grunt, pumping himself even faster. “Your hand feels fucking great.” He rubbed Kris’ hand over the head of his cock, squeezing Kris’ fingers against it, before thrusting himself against into their hands again. His cock was starting to get slippery, and Adam moved their hands in time with his thrusts, getting as much friction as possible. Kris was so turned on he couldn’t think straight. He wanted so badly to feel all that great moisture and pressure over his own cock. He rubbed himself against Adam more passionately, moaning when Adam did, but a little louder. He watched and listened as Adam shook, making some of the most beautiful sounds he’d ever heard.

“Can I come?” Adam asked him, panting hot air against his face.

“Yeah,” Kris moaned, the word stretching on until it was a rough, needy sound deep in his throat. Adam jerked his hips forward as Kris did the same, desperately trying to feel some of that friction; he needed it so badly. Adam’s mouth opened with a shallow gasp as he tightened Kris’ hand around his cock and came. His body twitched, and Kris felt like he was shaking, too. He watched as Adam moaned and squirmed, and he felt hot cum dripping on his fingers and on his stomach.

He kissed Adam fiercely, rolling his tongue in the older singer’s mouth and sucking on his lips, panting and moaning his name and humping him shamelessly. Adam kissed back lazily, still on a cloud. Kris felt like he could come just by rubbing his cock against Adam if he wanted to, even through their clothing. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so turned on before.

“Did you like that?” Adam asked huskily.

“Yes,” Kris answered in a shaky breath, still rubbing desperately against him. “That was the hottest thing… ever.”

Adam laughed with a hum, and held Kris’ hips still. “Lie down,” he said. Kris rolled over to lie on his back, and Adam took his hand again. He watched as the older singer took his index finger into his mouth and sucked it, licking some cum off of it. Kris’ breathing sped up and his eyes widened. Adam put his free hand over Kris’ crotch, rubbing him gently as he took another finger and slipped it through his lips. Kris let his head fall back onto the pillow as he eased his hips up and down against Adam’s touch, enjoying the added feel of Adam’s mouth on his hand. He couldn’t help but wish that mouth was sucking on him somewhere else.

The older singer licked Kris’ palm with a smooth swipe, and kissed in between his knuckles, getting every bit of sperm off his skin. Kris waited impatiently for Adam’s attention to get back to his crotch, and bucked his hips as a reminder. Adam still took his sweet time, smiling. When he finished cleaning Kris’ hand, he let it fall onto the bed and he moved down to kiss Kris’ collarbone. Adam moved down further, tasting Kris’ nipple briefly and earning a heavy and shuddering sigh, before the kissed his way down to the brunette’s belly. Kris knew where this was going, and he knew it was exactly what he wanted, more than anything in the entire world. Adam’s hair fell onto his skin and brushed against him softly. He arched his back and rolled his hips up, urging Adam to move lower, now. Adam complied and his steady, graceful fingers pulled Kris’ pants down, and Kris felt the urge to shiver when his cock met the cool air of Adam’s bedroom.

“Do you want me to?” Adam asked politely, but kept his mouth very close to Kris’ aching erection, teasing him. There way no way Kris would have say no, and both men knew it.

Kris moaned, and moved his hips again. “Please,” he said, burying his fingers in Adam’s hair. Adam wrapped his lips immediately around the side of Kris’ cock, licking as he slid his mouth up to the tip. Kris panted and moved helplessly, needing more, needing much, much more. Adam licked again, expertly, from base to tip, before slipping Kris’ head into his mouth and sucking gently.

“Fu-uck,” Kris gasped, stretching the word as he arched his body and grabbed handfuls of Adam’s jet black hair. He was already so close, he wasn’t sure he could last much longer. Lowering his head to take more of Kris into his mouth, Adam hummed and let his hands travel over Kris’ thighs, squeezing.

When Adam’s tongue slid over and pressed against Kris’ slit, he knew he couldn’t hold on anymore. He made a high-pitched, whining groan and grabbed and clenched at Adam’s hair. Adam moved his mouth up and down, fast, as Kris tried to form a sentence.

“I-… I’m gonna co-” Kris tried to say, his voice cracking and the words trailing off into gasps and throaty moans. Adam moved faster, holding Kris’ thighs firmly as his head smoothly bobbed up and down. Kris panted, his eyes tightly shut, and Adam felt warm liquid shooting into his mouth. He drank it eagerly and trailed his tongue all over Kris’ cock, sucking, until Kris relaxed and his body fell back down onto the bed.

Kris sighed with a huff, and Adam lifted his head to smirk at him. “You’re good at that,” Kris said, amazed.

“Yeah,” Adam said with a laugh. “Well, you know.”

Kris stared at the ceiling. “Did that really just happen?” he asked, breathing.

“I think so.” Adam giggled quietly and licked his lips.

“Time is it?” Kris asked lazily, turning his head to catch a glimpse at the alarm clock. It was 5:19 AM. He laughed softly.

“What’s funny?” Adam asked, crawling up to lie next to him.

“We still have like 40 minutes before we have to get up,” Kris said. “Wanna go back to sleep?”

“Not tired,” Adam said, leaning forward to kiss the younger singer sloppily.

“Me neither,” Kris said between kisses. They both slid their arms freely along each other’s bodies, and Kris said, “Wouldn’t it be awesome if we made the top two?” Adam giggled and kissed his cheek.

“We could have this whole place to ourselves,” Kris said, smiling at the thought. “I don’t wanna get my hopes up or anything, but that would be pretty sweet, wouldn’t it?”

“I’d like that,” Adam said simply, grabbing Kris’ hips and jerking him forward playfully. Kris looked into his eyes, and wondered if Adam wasn’t his favorite person in the world.

----

When 6 AM came around, Kris and Adam got up, showered, ate breakfast, and prepared to go to their hometowns. Danny treated them like normal, Kris noticed, which was a relief, and it helped him to calm down slightly about last night’s ordeal.

The three men squeezed into a limo that drove them to the airport. Kris and Adam sat next to each other and spent the ride talking about what they expected or hoped to see during their visits. Kris slowly became more excited about it; all the fans, seeing his family, and being on the news all seemed pretty fun. When they went separate ways to board their flights, Adam and Kris exchanged a brief smile good-bye, and Kris waved to Danny.

----

The flight took a really long time, and Kris loved every second of it. He relaxed, got an hour or two of sleep, and was able to finally have some calm, private time with his thoughts. He thought of the show, of Adam, of his songs and singing, of Adam. He thought of Danny Gokey, he thought of Adam, he thought of the judges, he thought of the musicians, and he thought even more about Adam.

What was there to think about? He knew what was happening. He knew it wasn’t right, he already knew that, but traveling away from Adam and back to his wife and family made it seem… so much more wrong than it had before. His life had changed so much on Idol, and Adam had been there as Kris became a different person. Now he felt as if Adam knew him better than his own family did.

He felt uncomfortable now. His relationship with Adam was something he’d thought about a million times before, and he knew that Adam would always, somehow, be a part of his life. He knew that he wanted Adam, badly, but he’d somehow just assumed that the fixation, the need, would be temporary; it would be something that would soon run itself out of his system when he’d had enough, like having a craving. He’d been wrong. The more he got from Adam, the more he wanted. Kris had just thought that it would stop after he got his fix, but it had only left him feeling more, wanting more of Adam near him, touching him, holding him. Was this addiction?

Kris had told Adam a few weeks ago that he was addicted to him, as cheesy as it sounded. At the time he thought it was the truth, but that feeling was nothing compared to how Kris felt around Adam now. Kris had never really taken addictive drugs before, and he’d never developed an addiction to anything, so he didn’t know what it felt like. This must be it, he thought. He couldn’t imagine addiction could feel more powerful than the intensity of the pure want he experienced when he was with Adam Lambert.

The more he thought about his relationship with Adam, the more he missed him already. That was just plain sad.

----

His plane landed in Little Rock, but he soon went to a hotel for the night; the real homecoming trip would begin tomorrow. The hotel room was dark and lonely. He kept opening his eyes just as he was about to drift into sleep, half-waiting for his door to creak open. It was a strange habit he’d formed, not being able to fall asleep until Adam came to see him. He forced his eyes shut and slept face-down, throwing the sheet over his head.

----

The next day was crazy. Kris navigated through mazes of shrieking fans, signing so many posters, pictures, and papers that his hand began moving to shape his signature without Kris having to think about it at all. Cameras were shoved into his face every other second, and Kris glued a smile on his face. When he was able to slide into his limo for a break from the noise, he couldn’t relax his face completely. It was a little scary at first, but after a few hours of being in Conway he got used to his face feeling stiff.

When he first saw Katy, he hugged her like he hadn’t seen her in years. He squeezed her against his chest, feeling her golden hair and warm skin, reminding himself that this was his wife, the love of his life, and he loved her more than anything. She soon jabbed him in the side, and the first words she said to him were, “Kris, hun, let me go!”

He pulled away from her, embarrassed. “Sorry,” he said, eyes wide, taking her in.

“I missed you too,” she said, her smile lighting up her face. “But you’re gonna make me pass out if you hug me like that again!”

Kris half-smiled, pulling her into a gentler hug. He hadn’t realized the difference between her and Adam’s hugs until then. Adam’s were so much rougher, and felt more meaningful and satisfying. He never thought man-hugs would be something he enjoyed so much. He shook his head at the thought, and gave Katy a sweet peck on the lips when she pulled away from the hug. He’d missed seeing her skin glowing in the sunlight; she was so gorgeous.

He and Katy rode on the back of a car like a celebrity couple, surrounded by fans left and right, and it rained confetti. He waved, grinning humbly at the screaming teenagers, and he didn’t have time to think of anything other than the present. It was nice to not have to think for the time being, but he was waiting for some kind of terrible guilt to set in. He was relieved when it didn’t.

Later, Kris was driven to meet up with his family. They were all crowded around outside his parents’ house in a mob of familiar, warm faces, and Kris was so happy to see them all. He grabbed his dad into a hug first, swaying as he buried his head into his shoulder. His dad was crying, and Kris smiled at how emotional he always was.

“Love you, Dad,” he said quietly into his ear, rubbing his back. His father muttered something about being so proud of him in between small sobs, and Kris smiled big. The reunion felt a lot less real with all the cameras around, and Kris found that he wasn’t able to enjoy it fully. He managed to make it look like he was overwhelmingly happy, though, so his family was pleased with their meeting. He sighed, and part of him wished that American Idol didn’t have to change his life quite so much. He’d never get to be just another guy again, no matter how much he would probably soon want to be.

The rest of the day went according to Kris’ predetermined schedule, and he revisited some of his favorite places, and met a ton more people. The high energy that surrounded him was more than enough to keep a solid grin on his face.

----

He slept in another hotel that night, and sorted through all of the day’s excitement. Seeing Katy was great, and Kris honestly wished they could’ve spent more time together. He tried not to compare Katy and Adam, but his mind kept jumping between them, back and forth, and he couldn’t help but notice how they felt like two completely separate universes. His breath caught whenever he recalled his morning with Adam two days ago, and comparing that to sex with Katy seemed near impossible. He couldn’t compare them; they were so, so different.

Katy was his life, his entire life. Up until American Idol. Now his life was Adam, and that just wasn’t okay.

He shook his head back and forth. It needed to stop. Any sort of future with Adam wouldn’t be possible, so why the fuck was he screwing up his life and wasting his time with him? He knew the answer, but suddenly it didn’t seem good enough. Adam was amazing, and so sexy that it shouldn’t even be allowed, and Kris adored him. He loved talking to him and being around him, and he especially loved fooling around with him. Everything about Adam made Kris’ brain whirl with pleasure and excitement.

Kris lay awake, thinking, and he knew he had to end it. The thrill of being with Adam was great, but it definitely wasn’t worth jeopardizing his entire life and future with Katy. It would be really difficult, but he knew he had to stick to it. If things kept on the way they were, Kris knew he would end up ashamed, guilty, and just fucked up. Stopping now could be his way of redeeming himself, somewhat. His time with Adam was undeniably fun, but he had to stop and get serious.

His cell phone lit up, buzzing on the nightstand. Kris reached for it and flipped it open. A text from Adam. He sat for a minute, wondering what it might say, before opening it. It said “Hows ur visit going? Miss me yet?” Looking at it almost made Kris feel sick, both from guilt and fear. He’d let this whole thing go way too far. “No, I need to talk to u when we get back,” he texted back. He swallowed hard before hitting send. Breaking his addiction was going to be painful.

He closed his eyes, and quietly prayed to God for strength to help him through it. He knew he’d need it.
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PostSubject: Re: Exciting Game   Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:16 am

Chapter nine


The four remaining contestants stood in a line on stage. The lights dimmed as Seacrest walked over holding a card, assuring the audience that the names would be announced in a random order.

“The first person safe tonight,” he said dramatically, “is… Kris Allen!”

Applause, cheering, shouting, and Kris tried to remember if that was his name. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder, Adam’s, and relief swept through him. He fell into Adam’s hug, feeling as if he might fall over. Everyone congratulated him as he smiled brightly. He’d been a mess all day. He was so sure that he would be leaving; he’d been savoring every moment of his day so he would remember it when he went home. But he wasn’t going home. He was staying for another week. He felt blessed that America had so much love for him.

Soon there was another commercial break, and Kris stood up from his safe chair and walked back to everyone else.

“I’m so nervous!” he heard Allison say. “Seriously, dudes, I’m shaking over here.” Adam pulled her close to his chest and pet her hair lovingly. Kris stood near them, watching.

“I hate this damn suspense,” Adam said, and Kris saw the stress on his face. He slid his arm around Adam’s torso, patting Allison’s back with his other hand. Danny laughed as he stood alone, excluded from the three-way hug.

“It’s so good that you’re safe!” Allison said. “I was so scared for you.”

“Thanks, Alli,” Kris said kindly, pulling away slowly. The atmosphere was tense, and a producer motioned for Kris to sit back down before the show came back on.

“Good luck, you guys,” Kris said, sparing a glance in Danny’s direction, too. Danny smiled and nodded, Allison gave a nervous look, and Adam looked back down at her before pulling her into another tight hug.

“If one of us leaves, we’ll know it’s for the best,” Adam had said last night.

Kris’ stomach squirmed in fearful anticipation. He deeply hoped that wasn’t the case. They finally got back to the results, and Adam, Allison, and Danny stood close together, heads down like they were in a huddle.

“…Adam Lambert!” Ryan announced. Everyone cheered and girls in every row of the audience screamed, “I love you, Adam!”

Adam, the tallest one on the stage, stood up straight with a relieved smile. He paused to give a sympathetic hug to Allison and Danny, and walked towards Kris with a mixed expression. Kris was ecstatic, and he put his arm up on Adam’s shoulder when the older singer sat down next to him. He leaned over and said, “Lucky nail polish!” into Adam’s ear, and both men laughed. Kris looked down at his blue thumb; the nail polish was starting to chip off, but it really was giving him some good luck. He was happy he’d decided to keep it on.

Ryan soon announced after a long dramatic pause that Danny was safe, and Kris couldn’t believe it. His eyes started stinging when Allison smiled like it was no big deal, and Danny grinned, patting her on the back. Allison didn’t deserve to go. She was a much more talented singer than he was himself. Kris went from feeling extremely relieved to overwhelmingly guilty. He looked over at Adam, who was holding back tears, too. The show was like living a dream, but it was increasingly difficult to see others getting shot down, all for your own benefit. It was tougher than Kris had ever thought it would be.

After the show ended, Adam held Allison tight, telling her how great she was, how much he loved her. “You know you’re a star,” Adam said to her. “You don’t need this show to tell you that.” Allison looked up and laughed, but it sounded like a small sob. Kris looked on sadly, and then said his goodbyes, too.

----

Living with just Adam and Danny was a little strange at first. The two would usually avoid conversing with each other because of how often they disagreed, so the house was so much quieter without Allison around. Neither Kris nor Adam really wanted to hang out with Danny unless they had to, so they spent a lot more time together.

On Thursday they spent most of their evening watching TV, laughing, and talking about whatever they wanted to. It was still so weird, and continuously surprising, that they tended to agree on most things, and that they got along so well. Conversations flowed smoothly with Adam because he always had something interesting to say. Neither of them talked with negativity either, Kris noticed. Talks between them always stayed pleasant, no matter what the topic. The more time Kris spent with Adam, the more he realized just how much he really, genuinely enjoyed being with him. It wasn’t just lust and attraction that drew him towards Adam, it was friendship too. Kris felt much better about the situation when he thought about it from that perspective.

But then again, it wasn’t Adam’s friendship that had been keeping Kris from getting enough sleep each night.

Tomorrow they would be going back to their hometowns for a visit. Kris had no idea what to expect, but it was definitely exciting. Home felt like a completely different world from Idol. Kris went into his room later that night to pack a few things for the trip back to Arkansas, and Adam soon followed him in cheerfully.

“Busy,” Kris said jokingly, not bothering to look up.

“Did I tell you I’m going back to my high school tomorrow?” Adam said, grinning. “How crazy!”

“You told me,” Kris laughed.

“Why aren’t you excited?!” Adam yelled, throwing his arms around.

“I’m excited,” Kris responded. “I’m just nervous, too.”

“You’re always nervous,” Adam said, rolling his eyes as he walked over to sit on Kris’ bed. “It’ll be fine, there’s nothing to be nervous about!”

“It’s just…” Kris paused, and then laughed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Stop worrying and just have fun.”

Kris nodded. He was nervous about spending a day with Katy, but if he told that to Adam then he’d only get worried and probably feel guilty. Kris hadn’t been able to spend time with Katy in a while, and he couldn’t wait, but he knew he would probably feel guilty around her. Cheating with Adam isn’t something Kris could bring himself to regret, but he would still probably feel completely shitty when he saw his wife again. Telling that to Adam wouldn’t help either of them, so he just kept it to himself.

He sat down next to Adam, and Adam’s arm looped around his waist automatically, pulling him closer. They’d spent so many nights together that these little actions were almost automatic. Kris didn’t mind at all; it felt nice to have that closeness with Adam. It always reminded him that they weren’t doing this because they were horny or because they were lonely. They were together because it was them, it was comfortable, and it felt very natural for them both. Smiling, Kris put his hand on the back of Adam’s head, pulling him down into a quick kiss. His other hand absently played with the bottom hem of Adam’s shirt, occasionally stroking skin briefly with his finger.

“I wish we could just have a day off,” Adam said. “We’re always busy. It’s exhausting. I want to just sit around for a day and do nothing, you know?”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Kris said lazily. “We should get to bed, though. I want to get sleep tonight.”

Adam frowned. “Kiss me for a while first. I won’t get to see you for a couple days.”

Kris chucked loudly. “You better get used to it, man!”

“Don’t laugh at me!” Adam yelled, smacking his hands against Kris’ chest playfully. He pushed Kris backwards and leaned over him quickly, pressing their mouths together. Kris pushed him off, still laughing a little. “Time for bed,” he said. “Go back to your room!”

“Fine, fine, fine,” Adam grumbled. He leaned down once more to steal another kiss. He stayed that way for a few more seconds before saying, “’Night.”

“Wait, stay a little longer,” Kris blurted out, holding Adam down on him. “I changed my mind.”

Adam laughed happily. “You can’t resist my charm at all.” He brought his mouth down onto Kris’ neck, tasting him.

“Whatever,” Kris said, lifting his chin so Adam could access more of his neck. He let his hands slide down the black-haired singer’s body and quietly gasped as Adam bit him, right under his jaw line. His hands slid under Adam’s shirt and felt up the smooth skin of his back. “You feel nice,” he said, his voice heavy.

“Today was scary,” Adam breathed against his neck, rubbing his body briefly against Kris’. Kris felt himself start to sweat a little as his skin heated up, fast. He nodded his head in response, closing his eyes and trying not to breathe too loudly.

Adam kissed him suddenly, and Kris felt strong, quick hands starting to work on his belt. He tried to pull away from Adam’s mouth to protest, but Adam kissed him harder, keeping him quiet. Kris’ belt and pants were soon undone, and Adam broke the kiss to look down at Kris lustfully.

“I’m glad we’re both still here,” he said, reaching his hand down Kris’ pants to stroke the skin on his inner thighs. Kris choked on his breath and thrust his hips up at the air, and Adam giggled teasingly, touching and rubbing every part of Kris’ skin around his cock.

“Come on,” Kris whined, his hips twitching helplessly. Adam ran a finger, very lightly, over Kris’ length. Kris inhaled and Adam smiled, licking his lips.

“Kris, you still up?” Danny called out. He was walking towards Kris’ room. The door was still open. The warmth of Adam’s body left as the black-haired singer slid quickly off of him, all before Kris had time to react. Danny’s footsteps were close, and Kris tried desperately to zip his pants back up. He leaned forward, letting his shirt cover up his undone belt before Danny peeked his head in.

“Hey guys,” Danny greeted when he stood at the doorway. His eyes moved from Adam to Kris, back and forth, and his smile was slowly fading. Kris’ heart pounded in his chest and he knew he looked guilty. Adam was sitting comfortably next to him, smiling casually. “Hey,” Kris said, managing to make his voice sound even.

“You okay?” Danny asked, unsure. He looked completely confused.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Kris responded hurriedly. “What’s up?”

“You’re beet red,” Danny pointed out, laughing nervously. Kris felt sweat creep down his neck, and Danny shook his head lightly, apparently letting it go, or maybe trying to shake any crazy theories that might’ve been collecting in his brain. “Hah, nevermind, I was just coming to say goodnight to you guys. You all packed for tomorrow?”

Kris swallowed, trying so hard not to look uncomfortable. He lifted his arm to scratch at the back of his head, cracking a smile. “Yeah, sorry, I was just talking to Adam about stuff. I’m mostly packed, what about you?”

“I’m all ready to go to Milwaukee,” Danny said, grinning. His eyes traveled between Kris to Adam still. “Where are you going again?” he asked Adam.

“San Diego,” Adam said. “I still need to finish packing my stuff.”

Danny nodded slowly, leaning awkwardly against the doorway. “Cool, cool,” he muttered. “Well goodnight, you guys.”

“Yeah, goodnight,” Kris said. He hoped he wasn’t speaking too loud; it was harder to hear with his pulse pounding in his ears.

“Sleep well,” Adam added as Danny walked off.

“Jesusfuckingchrist-” Kris said under his breath when he couldn’t hear Danny’s footsteps anymore. Adam tried to hold back a laugh, and he quickly turned to try and lean himself back over Kris’ body, but Kris pushed him away. “What’re you doing, Adam? Close the fucking door!”

“Calm down, Kris,” Adam laughed. “Danny won’t be coming back.”

“We should’ve had the door closed! Did you see his face?!”

“Don’t worry; you covered it up pretty good.”

“This is bad!” Kris grabbed at the sides of his head, looking up in frantic thought.

“Kris,” Adam said more seriously. “It’s completely fine. Danny doesn’t know anything.”

“Adam! He just fucking walked in on us!”

“He didn’t walk in on anything. We were sitting here.”

“Looking guilty as hell!”

Adam hooked an arm around Kris’ neck, pulling them close together. “Maybe you were. But you told him we were talking about stuff. It was a good excuse.”

“Do you have any idea what would’ve happened if he’d walked in earlier?”

“It’s fine,” Adam comforted, rubbing his scalp. “He didn’t walk in earlier, so everything’s fine. We’ll remember to close the door from now on, right?”

“Fuck you,” Kris said, burying his face into Adam’s shoulder. He didn’t think he’d ever been so scared in his entire life. The scenario of Danny walking in sooner kept flashing through his head. It was the worst thing he could imagine, and it had just almost happened.

“It’s completely fine,” Adam repeated calmly. “Want me to close the door now?”

Kris thought for a moment. “It’s probably time for bed. You should go to your room.”

“You mean it this time?” Adam said, laughing quietly.

“Yeah, man, we need sleep. We’ve gotta be up by like six.”

“Alright,” Adam said, standing up. “See you tomorrow.”

Kris fell back onto his bed. “’Night,” he said back.

----

Kris woke up at 4:46 AM. He must have fallen asleep with his mouth open, because his throat was so dry that it had actually woken him up. It was painful, and Kris eased out of bed to walk to the bathroom. The kitchen was too far away, and he only needed some water. He flicked on the light switch and the brightness burned his eyes; he could barely see. Squinting tightly, he wandered to the sink and turned the water on before leaning over to drink from the faucet. The cold water felt incredible on his throat, and he drank until his stomach felt full. Standing back up with a content sigh, Kris turned off the water and wiped his face with a towel. He only had about another hour to sleep before he’d have to get back up.

Instead of walking back to his own room, he walked straight to Adam’s, not bothering to sneak around. He heard Adam wake up when he walked over a squeaky floorboard, and he took another two steps to stand next to the older singer’s bed.

“Come here,” Adam slurred. He almost sounded like he was still asleep. Kris happily slid into his bed, throwing his arm over Adam’s shoulder. “Hey,” he said.

“Am I dreaming?” Adam asked, sounding a little more awake. “What’re you doing in my bed in the middle of the night?”

“It’s almost 5 in the morning,” Kris said, correcting him. “I’m not tired.”

“I was just having a vivid dream about you,” Adam said. He placed a hand on Kris’ lower back and pulled him closer, brushing their lips together before kissing him hungrily.

“What kind of dream?” Kris whispered after he pulled away from the kiss.

“The best kind,” Adam replied sleepily.

“Tell me about it,” Kris said, interested. “What were we doing?”

“Can I show you?” Adam asked, opening his eyes to look at Kris’ face.

Kris paused, a blush heating his cheeks. “Well, tell me first.”

“It’s not too bad,” Adam said. “Let me show you.”

“Fine,” Kris said with a smile. “Show me.”

Adam grabbed Kris’ hand, and pressed their bodies together even closer. Holding the brunette’s hand gently, Adam pressed it against his stomach and slid it downward. Kris swallowed and closed his eyes, so he could better feel Adam’s skin sliding under his fingers. Adam’s hand guided his, sliding under the waistband of his pants, then his briefs. Kris moaned when Adam wrapped their hands around his stiff erection, and he heard Adam’s breaths becoming strained. He opened his eyes and Adam was biting his lip, looking down as he moved Kris’ hand back and forth along his cock.

“You’re so sexy,” Kris said in awe.

Adam looked at him, and then looked down again. “This feels really good,” he said. This voice was shaky and quiet. “It feels better than it did in the dream.” His breath rattled out of his lungs, and he drew it back in with a hiss, arching his back and moving his and Kris’ hand faster.

“Adam, oh God,” Kris breathed. “This is so fucking hot.” He was watching as Adam basically jerked himself off, only he was able to feel all of the movements through his own hand. “This is so hot, Adam,” he said again, moving his hips forward to rub himself against the older singer’s body, feeling some of the friction of Adam’s hand working.

“Yeah,” Adam said with a grunt, pumping himself even faster. “Your hand feels fucking great.” He rubbed Kris’ hand over the head of his cock, squeezing Kris’ fingers against it, before thrusting himself against into their hands again. His cock was starting to get slippery, and Adam moved their hands in time with his thrusts, getting as much friction as possible. Kris was so turned on he couldn’t think straight. He wanted so badly to feel all that great moisture and pressure over his own cock. He rubbed himself against Adam more passionately, moaning when Adam did, but a little louder. He watched and listened as Adam shook, making some of the most beautiful sounds he’d ever heard.

“Can I come?” Adam asked him, panting hot air against his face.

“Yeah,” Kris moaned, the word stretching on until it was a rough, needy sound deep in his throat. Adam jerked his hips forward as Kris did the same, desperately trying to feel some of that friction; he needed it so badly. Adam’s mouth opened with a shallow gasp as he tightened Kris’ hand around his cock and came. His body twitched, and Kris felt like he was shaking, too. He watched as Adam moaned and squirmed, and he felt hot cum dripping on his fingers and on his stomach.

He kissed Adam fiercely, rolling his tongue in the older singer’s mouth and sucking on his lips, panting and moaning his name and humping him shamelessly. Adam kissed back lazily, still on a cloud. Kris felt like he could come just by rubbing his cock against Adam if he wanted to, even through their clothing. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so turned on before.

“Did you like that?” Adam asked huskily.

“Yes,” Kris answered in a shaky breath, still rubbing desperately against him. “That was the hottest thing… ever.”

Adam laughed with a hum, and held Kris’ hips still. “Lie down,” he said. Kris rolled over to lie on his back, and Adam took his hand again. He watched as the older singer took his index finger into his mouth and sucked it, licking some cum off of it. Kris’ breathing sped up and his eyes widened. Adam put his free hand over Kris’ crotch, rubbing him gently as he took another finger and slipped it through his lips. Kris let his head fall back onto the pillow as he eased his hips up and down against Adam’s touch, enjoying the added feel of Adam’s mouth on his hand. He couldn’t help but wish that mouth was sucking on him somewhere else.

The older singer licked Kris’ palm with a smooth swipe, and kissed in between his knuckles, getting every bit of sperm off his skin. Kris waited impatiently for Adam’s attention to get back to his crotch, and bucked his hips as a reminder. Adam still took his sweet time, smiling. When he finished cleaning Kris’ hand, he let it fall onto the bed and he moved down to kiss Kris’ collarbone. Adam moved down further, tasting Kris’ nipple briefly and earning a heavy and shuddering sigh, before the kissed his way down to the brunette’s belly. Kris knew where this was going, and he knew it was exactly what he wanted, more than anything in the entire world. Adam’s hair fell onto his skin and brushed against him softly. He arched his back and rolled his hips up, urging Adam to move lower, now. Adam complied and his steady, graceful fingers pulled Kris’ pants down, and Kris felt the urge to shiver when his cock met the cool air of Adam’s bedroom.

“Do you want me to?” Adam asked politely, but kept his mouth very close to Kris’ aching erection, teasing him. There way no way Kris would have say no, and both men knew it.

Kris moaned, and moved his hips again. “Please,” he said, burying his fingers in Adam’s hair. Adam wrapped his lips immediately around the side of Kris’ cock, licking as he slid his mouth up to the tip. Kris panted and moved helplessly, needing more, needing much, much more. Adam licked again, expertly, from base to tip, before slipping Kris’ head into his mouth and sucking gently.

“Fu-uck,” Kris gasped, stretching the word as he arched his body and grabbed handfuls of Adam’s jet black hair. He was already so close, he wasn’t sure he could last much longer. Lowering his head to take more of Kris into his mouth, Adam hummed and let his hands travel over Kris’ thighs, squeezing.

When Adam’s tongue slid over and pressed against Kris’ slit, he knew he couldn’t hold on anymore. He made a high-pitched, whining groan and grabbed and clenched at Adam’s hair. Adam moved his mouth up and down, fast, as Kris tried to form a sentence.

“I-… I’m gonna co-” Kris tried to say, his voice cracking and the words trailing off into gasps and throaty moans. Adam moved faster, holding Kris’ thighs firmly as his head smoothly bobbed up and down. Kris panted, his eyes tightly shut, and Adam felt warm liquid shooting into his mouth. He drank it eagerly and trailed his tongue all over Kris’ cock, sucking, until Kris relaxed and his body fell back down onto the bed.

Kris sighed with a huff, and Adam lifted his head to smirk at him. “You’re good at that,” Kris said, amazed.

“Yeah,” Adam said with a laugh. “Well, you know.”

Kris stared at the ceiling. “Did that really just happen?” he asked, breathing.

“I think so.” Adam giggled quietly and licked his lips.

“Time is it?” Kris asked lazily, turning his head to catch a glimpse at the alarm clock. It was 5:19 AM. He laughed softly.

“What’s funny?” Adam asked, crawling up to lie next to him.

“We still have like 40 minutes before we have to get up,” Kris said. “Wanna go back to sleep?”

“Not tired,” Adam said, leaning forward to kiss the younger singer sloppily.

“Me neither,” Kris said between kisses. They both slid their arms freely along each other’s bodies, and Kris said, “Wouldn’t it be awesome if we made the top two?” Adam giggled and kissed his cheek.

“We could have this whole place to ourselves,” Kris said, smiling at the thought. “I don’t wanna get my hopes up or anything, but that would be pretty sweet, wouldn’t it?”

“I’d like that,” Adam said simply, grabbing Kris’ hips and jerking him forward playfully. Kris looked into his eyes, and wondered if Adam wasn’t his favorite person in the world.

----

When 6 AM came around, Kris and Adam got up, showered, ate breakfast, and prepared to go to their hometowns. Danny treated them like normal, Kris noticed, which was a relief, and it helped him to calm down slightly about last night’s ordeal.

The three men squeezed into a limo that drove them to the airport. Kris and Adam sat next to each other and spent the ride talking about what they expected or hoped to see during their visits. Kris slowly became more excited about it; all the fans, seeing his family, and being on the news all seemed pretty fun. When they went separate ways to board their flights, Adam and Kris exchanged a brief smile good-bye, and Kris waved to Danny.

----

The flight took a really long time, and Kris loved every second of it. He relaxed, got an hour or two of sleep, and was able to finally have some calm, private time with his thoughts. He thought of the show, of Adam, of his songs and singing, of Adam. He thought of Danny Gokey, he thought of Adam, he thought of the judges, he thought of the musicians, and he thought even more about Adam.

What was there to think about? He knew what was happening. He knew it wasn’t right, he already knew that, but traveling away from Adam and back to his wife and family made it seem… so much more wrong than it had before. His life had changed so much on Idol, and Adam had been there as Kris became a different person. Now he felt as if Adam knew him better than his own family did.

He felt uncomfortable now. His relationship with Adam was something he’d thought about a million times before, and he knew that Adam would always, somehow, be a part of his life. He knew that he wanted Adam, badly, but he’d somehow just assumed that the fixation, the need, would be temporary; it would be something that would soon run itself out of his system when he’d had enough, like having a craving. He’d been wrong. The more he got from Adam, the more he wanted. Kris had just thought that it would stop after he got his fix, but it had only left him feeling more, wanting more of Adam near him, touching him, holding him. Was this addiction?

Kris had told Adam a few weeks ago that he was addicted to him, as cheesy as it sounded. At the time he thought it was the truth, but that feeling was nothing compared to how Kris felt around Adam now. Kris had never really taken addictive drugs before, and he’d never developed an addiction to anything, so he didn’t know what it felt like. This must be it, he thought. He couldn’t imagine addiction could feel more powerful than the intensity of the pure want he experienced when he was with Adam Lambert.

The more he thought about his relationship with Adam, the more he missed him already. That was just plain sad.

----

His plane landed in Little Rock, but he soon went to a hotel for the night; the real homecoming trip would begin tomorrow. The hotel room was dark and lonely. He kept opening his eyes just as he was about to drift into sleep, half-waiting for his door to creak open. It was a strange habit he’d formed, not being able to fall asleep until Adam came to see him. He forced his eyes shut and slept face-down, throwing the sheet over his head.

----

The next day was crazy. Kris navigated through mazes of shrieking fans, signing so many posters, pictures, and papers that his hand began moving to shape his signature without Kris having to think about it at all. Cameras were shoved into his face every other second, and Kris glued a smile on his face. When he was able to slide into his limo for a break from the noise, he couldn’t relax his face completely. It was a little scary at first, but after a few hours of being in Conway he got used to his face feeling stiff.

When he first saw Katy, he hugged her like he hadn’t seen her in years. He squeezed her against his chest, feeling her golden hair and warm skin, reminding himself that this was his wife, the love of his life, and he loved her more than anything. She soon jabbed him in the side, and the first words she said to him were, “Kris, hun, let me go!”

He pulled away from her, embarrassed. “Sorry,” he said, eyes wide, taking her in.

“I missed you too,” she said, her smile lighting up her face. “But you’re gonna make me pass out if you hug me like that again!”

Kris half-smiled, pulling her into a gentler hug. He hadn’t realized the difference between her and Adam’s hugs until then. Adam’s were so much rougher, and felt more meaningful and satisfying. He never thought man-hugs would be something he enjoyed so much. He shook his head at the thought, and gave Katy a sweet peck on the lips when she pulled away from the hug. He’d missed seeing her skin glowing in the sunlight; she was so gorgeous.

He and Katy rode on the back of a car like a celebrity couple, surrounded by fans left and right, and it rained confetti. He waved, grinning humbly at the screaming teenagers, and he didn’t have time to think of anything other than the present. It was nice to not have to think for the time being, but he was waiting for some kind of terrible guilt to set in. He was relieved when it didn’t.

Later, Kris was driven to meet up with his family. They were all crowded around outside his parents’ house in a mob of familiar, warm faces, and Kris was so happy to see them all. He grabbed his dad into a hug first, swaying as he buried his head into his shoulder. His dad was crying, and Kris smiled at how emotional he always was.

“Love you, Dad,” he said quietly into his ear, rubbing his back. His father muttered something about being so proud of him in between small sobs, and Kris smiled big. The reunion felt a lot less real with all the cameras around, and Kris found that he wasn’t able to enjoy it fully. He managed to make it look like he was overwhelmingly happy, though, so his family was pleased with their meeting. He sighed, and part of him wished that American Idol didn’t have to change his life quite so much. He’d never get to be just another guy again, no matter how much he would probably soon want to be.

The rest of the day went according to Kris’ predetermined schedule, and he revisited some of his favorite places, and met a ton more people. The high energy that surrounded him was more than enough to keep a solid grin on his face.

----

He slept in another hotel that night, and sorted through all of the day’s excitement. Seeing Katy was great, and Kris honestly wished they could’ve spent more time together. He tried not to compare Katy and Adam, but his mind kept jumping between them, back and forth, and he couldn’t help but notice how they felt like two completely separate universes. His breath caught whenever he recalled his morning with Adam two days ago, and comparing that to sex with Katy seemed near impossible. He couldn’t compare them; they were so, so different.

Katy was his life, his entire life. Up until American Idol. Now his life was Adam, and that just wasn’t okay.

He shook his head back and forth. It needed to stop. Any sort of future with Adam wouldn’t be possible, so why the fuck was he screwing up his life and wasting his time with him? He knew the answer, but suddenly it didn’t seem good enough. Adam was amazing, and so sexy that it shouldn’t even be allowed, and Kris adored him. He loved talking to him and being around him, and he especially loved fooling around with him. Everything about Adam made Kris’ brain whirl with pleasure and excitement.

Kris lay awake, thinking, and he knew he had to end it. The thrill of being with Adam was great, but it definitely wasn’t worth jeopardizing his entire life and future with Katy. It would be really difficult, but he knew he had to stick to it. If things kept on the way they were, Kris knew he would end up ashamed, guilty, and just fucked up. Stopping now could be his way of redeeming himself, somewhat. His time with Adam was undeniably fun, but he had to stop and get serious.

His cell phone lit up, buzzing on the nightstand. Kris reached for it and flipped it open. A text from Adam. He sat for a minute, wondering what it might say, before opening it. It said “Hows ur visit going? Miss me yet?” Looking at it almost made Kris feel sick, both from guilt and fear. He’d let this whole thing go way too far. “No, I need to talk to u when we get back,” he texted back. He swallowed hard before hitting send. Breaking his addiction was going to be painful.

He closed his eyes, and quietly prayed to God for strength to help him through it. He knew he’d need it.
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PostSubject: Re: Exciting Game   Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:16 am

Chapter ten


The four remaining contestants stood in a line on stage. The lights dimmed as Seacrest walked over holding a card, assuring the audience that the names would be announced in a random order.

“The first person safe tonight,” he said dramatically, “is… Kris Allen!”

Applause, cheering, shouting, and Kris tried to remember if that was his name. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder, Adam’s, and relief swept through him. He fell into Adam’s hug, feeling as if he might fall over. Everyone congratulated him as he smiled brightly. He’d been a mess all day. He was so sure that he would be leaving; he’d been savoring every moment of his day so he would remember it when he went home. But he wasn’t going home. He was staying for another week. He felt blessed that America had so much love for him.

Soon there was another commercial break, and Kris stood up from his safe chair and walked back to everyone else.

“I’m so nervous!” he heard Allison say. “Seriously, dudes, I’m shaking over here.” Adam pulled her close to his chest and pet her hair lovingly. Kris stood near them, watching.

“I hate this damn suspense,” Adam said, and Kris saw the stress on his face. He slid his arm around Adam’s torso, patting Allison’s back with his other hand. Danny laughed as he stood alone, excluded from the three-way hug.

“It’s so good that you’re safe!” Allison said. “I was so scared for you.”

“Thanks, Alli,” Kris said kindly, pulling away slowly. The atmosphere was tense, and a producer motioned for Kris to sit back down before the show came back on.

“Good luck, you guys,” Kris said, sparing a glance in Danny’s direction, too. Danny smiled and nodded, Allison gave a nervous look, and Adam looked back down at her before pulling her into another tight hug.

“If one of us leaves, we’ll know it’s for the best,” Adam had said last night.

Kris’ stomach squirmed in fearful anticipation. He deeply hoped that wasn’t the case. They finally got back to the results, and Adam, Allison, and Danny stood close together, heads down like they were in a huddle.

“…Adam Lambert!” Ryan announced. Everyone cheered and girls in every row of the audience screamed, “I love you, Adam!”

Adam, the tallest one on the stage, stood up straight with a relieved smile. He paused to give a sympathetic hug to Allison and Danny, and walked towards Kris with a mixed expression. Kris was ecstatic, and he put his arm up on Adam’s shoulder when the older singer sat down next to him. He leaned over and said, “Lucky nail polish!” into Adam’s ear, and both men laughed. Kris looked down at his blue thumb; the nail polish was starting to chip off, but it really was giving him some good luck. He was happy he’d decided to keep it on.

Ryan soon announced after a long dramatic pause that Danny was safe, and Kris couldn’t believe it. His eyes started stinging when Allison smiled like it was no big deal, and Danny grinned, patting her on the back. Allison didn’t deserve to go. She was a much more talented singer than he was himself. Kris went from feeling extremely relieved to overwhelmingly guilty. He looked over at Adam, who was holding back tears, too. The show was like living a dream, but it was increasingly difficult to see others getting shot down, all for your own benefit. It was tougher than Kris had ever thought it would be.

After the show ended, Adam held Allison tight, telling her how great she was, how much he loved her. “You know you’re a star,” Adam said to her. “You don’t need this show to tell you that.” Allison looked up and laughed, but it sounded like a small sob. Kris looked on sadly, and then said his goodbyes, too.

----

Living with just Adam and Danny was a little strange at first. The two would usually avoid conversing with each other because of how often they disagreed, so the house was so much quieter without Allison around. Neither Kris nor Adam really wanted to hang out with Danny unless they had to, so they spent a lot more time together.

On Thursday they spent most of their evening watching TV, laughing, and talking about whatever they wanted to. It was still so weird, and continuously surprising, that they tended to agree on most things, and that they got along so well. Conversations flowed smoothly with Adam because he always had something interesting to say. Neither of them talked with negativity either, Kris noticed. Talks between them always stayed pleasant, no matter what the topic. The more time Kris spent with Adam, the more he realized just how much he really, genuinely enjoyed being with him. It wasn’t just lust and attraction that drew him towards Adam, it was friendship too. Kris felt much better about the situation when he thought about it from that perspective.

But then again, it wasn’t Adam’s friendship that had been keeping Kris from getting enough sleep each night.

Tomorrow they would be going back to their hometowns for a visit. Kris had no idea what to expect, but it was definitely exciting. Home felt like a completely different world from Idol. Kris went into his room later that night to pack a few things for the trip back to Arkansas, and Adam soon followed him in cheerfully.

“Busy,” Kris said jokingly, not bothering to look up.

“Did I tell you I’m going back to my high school tomorrow?” Adam said, grinning. “How crazy!”

“You told me,” Kris laughed.

“Why aren’t you excited?!” Adam yelled, throwing his arms around.

“I’m excited,” Kris responded. “I’m just nervous, too.”

“You’re always nervous,” Adam said, rolling his eyes as he walked over to sit on Kris’ bed. “It’ll be fine, there’s nothing to be nervous about!”

“It’s just…” Kris paused, and then laughed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Stop worrying and just have fun.”

Kris nodded. He was nervous about spending a day with Katy, but if he told that to Adam then he’d only get worried and probably feel guilty. Kris hadn’t been able to spend time with Katy in a while, and he couldn’t wait, but he knew he would probably feel guilty around her. Cheating with Adam isn’t something Kris could bring himself to regret, but he would still probably feel completely shitty when he saw his wife again. Telling that to Adam wouldn’t help either of them, so he just kept it to himself.

He sat down next to Adam, and Adam’s arm looped around his waist automatically, pulling him closer. They’d spent so many nights together that these little actions were almost automatic. Kris didn’t mind at all; it felt nice to have that closeness with Adam. It always reminded him that they weren’t doing this because they were horny or because they were lonely. They were together because it was them, it was comfortable, and it felt very natural for them both. Smiling, Kris put his hand on the back of Adam’s head, pulling him down into a quick kiss. His other hand absently played with the bottom hem of Adam’s shirt, occasionally stroking skin briefly with his finger.

“I wish we could just have a day off,” Adam said. “We’re always busy. It’s exhausting. I want to just sit around for a day and do nothing, you know?”

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Kris said lazily. “We should get to bed, though. I want to get sleep tonight.”

Adam frowned. “Kiss me for a while first. I won’t get to see you for a couple days.”

Kris chucked loudly. “You better get used to it, man!”

“Don’t laugh at me!” Adam yelled, smacking his hands against Kris’ chest playfully. He pushed Kris backwards and leaned over him quickly, pressing their mouths together. Kris pushed him off, still laughing a little. “Time for bed,” he said. “Go back to your room!”

“Fine, fine, fine,” Adam grumbled. He leaned down once more to steal another kiss. He stayed that way for a few more seconds before saying, “’Night.”

“Wait, stay a little longer,” Kris blurted out, holding Adam down on him. “I changed my mind.”

Adam laughed happily. “You can’t resist my charm at all.” He brought his mouth down onto Kris’ neck, tasting him.

“Whatever,” Kris said, lifting his chin so Adam could access more of his neck. He let his hands slide down the black-haired singer’s body and quietly gasped as Adam bit him, right under his jaw line. His hands slid under Adam’s shirt and felt up the smooth skin of his back. “You feel nice,” he said, his voice heavy.

“Today was scary,” Adam breathed against his neck, rubbing his body briefly against Kris’. Kris felt himself start to sweat a little as his skin heated up, fast. He nodded his head in response, closing his eyes and trying not to breathe too loudly.

Adam kissed him suddenly, and Kris felt strong, quick hands starting to work on his belt. He tried to pull away from Adam’s mouth to protest, but Adam kissed him harder, keeping him quiet. Kris’ belt and pants were soon undone, and Adam broke the kiss to look down at Kris lustfully.

“I’m glad we’re both still here,” he said, reaching his hand down Kris’ pants to stroke the skin on his inner thighs. Kris choked on his breath and thrust his hips up at the air, and Adam giggled teasingly, touching and rubbing every part of Kris’ skin around his cock.

“Come on,” Kris whined, his hips twitching helplessly. Adam ran a finger, very lightly, over Kris’ length. Kris inhaled and Adam smiled, licking his lips.

“Kris, you still up?” Danny called out. He was walking towards Kris’ room. The door was still open. The warmth of Adam’s body left as the black-haired singer slid quickly off of him, all before Kris had time to react. Danny’s footsteps were close, and Kris tried desperately to zip his pants back up. He leaned forward, letting his shirt cover up his undone belt before Danny peeked his head in.

“Hey guys,” Danny greeted when he stood at the doorway. His eyes moved from Adam to Kris, back and forth, and his smile was slowly fading. Kris’ heart pounded in his chest and he knew he looked guilty. Adam was sitting comfortably next to him, smiling casually. “Hey,” Kris said, managing to make his voice sound even.

“You okay?” Danny asked, unsure. He looked completely confused.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Kris responded hurriedly. “What’s up?”

“You’re beet red,” Danny pointed out, laughing nervously. Kris felt sweat creep down his neck, and Danny shook his head lightly, apparently letting it go, or maybe trying to shake any crazy theories that might’ve been collecting in his brain. “Hah, nevermind, I was just coming to say goodnight to you guys. You all packed for tomorrow?”

Kris swallowed, trying so hard not to look uncomfortable. He lifted his arm to scratch at the back of his head, cracking a smile. “Yeah, sorry, I was just talking to Adam about stuff. I’m mostly packed, what about you?”

“I’m all ready to go to Milwaukee,” Danny said, grinning. His eyes traveled between Kris to Adam still. “Where are you going again?” he asked Adam.

“San Diego,” Adam said. “I still need to finish packing my stuff.”

Danny nodded slowly, leaning awkwardly against the doorway. “Cool, cool,” he muttered. “Well goodnight, you guys.”

“Yeah, goodnight,” Kris said. He hoped he wasn’t speaking too loud; it was harder to hear with his pulse pounding in his ears.

“Sleep well,” Adam added as Danny walked off.

“Jesusfuckingchrist-” Kris said under his breath when he couldn’t hear Danny’s footsteps anymore. Adam tried to hold back a laugh, and he quickly turned to try and lean himself back over Kris’ body, but Kris pushed him away. “What’re you doing, Adam? Close the fucking door!”

“Calm down, Kris,” Adam laughed. “Danny won’t be coming back.”

“We should’ve had the door closed! Did you see his face?!”

“Don’t worry; you covered it up pretty good.”

“This is bad!” Kris grabbed at the sides of his head, looking up in frantic thought.

“Kris,” Adam said more seriously. “It’s completely fine. Danny doesn’t know anything.”

“Adam! He just fucking walked in on us!”

“He didn’t walk in on anything. We were sitting here.”

“Looking guilty as hell!”

Adam hooked an arm around Kris’ neck, pulling them close together. “Maybe you were. But you told him we were talking about stuff. It was a good excuse.”

“Do you have any idea what would’ve happened if he’d walked in earlier?”

“It’s fine,” Adam comforted, rubbing his scalp. “He didn’t walk in earlier, so everything’s fine. We’ll remember to close the door from now on, right?”

“Fuck you,” Kris said, burying his face into Adam’s shoulder. He didn’t think he’d ever been so scared in his entire life. The scenario of Danny walking in sooner kept flashing through his head. It was the worst thing he could imagine, and it had just almost happened.

“It’s completely fine,” Adam repeated calmly. “Want me to close the door now?”

Kris thought for a moment. “It’s probably time for bed. You should go to your room.”

“You mean it this time?” Adam said, laughing quietly.

“Yeah, man, we need sleep. We’ve gotta be up by like six.”

“Alright,” Adam said, standing up. “See you tomorrow.”

Kris fell back onto his bed. “’Night,” he said back.

----

Kris woke up at 4:46 AM. He must have fallen asleep with his mouth open, because his throat was so dry that it had actually woken him up. It was painful, and Kris eased out of bed to walk to the bathroom. The kitchen was too far away, and he only needed some water. He flicked on the light switch and the brightness burned his eyes; he could barely see. Squinting tightly, he wandered to the sink and turned the water on before leaning over to drink from the faucet. The cold water felt incredible on his throat, and he drank until his stomach felt full. Standing back up with a content sigh, Kris turned off the water and wiped his face with a towel. He only had about another hour to sleep before he’d have to get back up.

Instead of walking back to his own room, he walked straight to Adam’s, not bothering to sneak around. He heard Adam wake up when he walked over a squeaky floorboard, and he took another two steps to stand next to the older singer’s bed.

“Come here,” Adam slurred. He almost sounded like he was still asleep. Kris happily slid into his bed, throwing his arm over Adam’s shoulder. “Hey,” he said.

“Am I dreaming?” Adam asked, sounding a little more awake. “What’re you doing in my bed in the middle of the night?”

“It’s almost 5 in the morning,” Kris said, correcting him. “I’m not tired.”

“I was just having a vivid dream about you,” Adam said. He placed a hand on Kris’ lower back and pulled him closer, brushing their lips together before kissing him hungrily.

“What kind of dream?” Kris whispered after he pulled away from the kiss.

“The best kind,” Adam replied sleepily.

“Tell me about it,” Kris said, interested. “What were we doing?”

“Can I show you?” Adam asked, opening his eyes to look at Kris’ face.

Kris paused, a blush heating his cheeks. “Well, tell me first.”

“It’s not too bad,” Adam said. “Let me show you.”

“Fine,” Kris said with a smile. “Show me.”

Adam grabbed Kris’ hand, and pressed their bodies together even closer. Holding the brunette’s hand gently, Adam pressed it against his stomach and slid it downward. Kris swallowed and closed his eyes, so he could better feel Adam’s skin sliding under his fingers. Adam’s hand guided his, sliding under the waistband of his pants, then his briefs. Kris moaned when Adam wrapped their hands around his stiff erection, and he heard Adam’s breaths becoming strained. He opened his eyes and Adam was biting his lip, looking down as he moved Kris’ hand back and forth along his cock.

“You’re so sexy,” Kris said in awe.

Adam looked at him, and then looked down again. “This feels really good,” he said. This voice was shaky and quiet. “It feels better than it did in the dream.” His breath rattled out of his lungs, and he drew it back in with a hiss, arching his back and moving his and Kris’ hand faster.

“Adam, oh God,” Kris breathed. “This is so fucking hot.” He was watching as Adam basically jerked himself off, only he was able to feel all of the movements through his own hand. “This is so hot, Adam,” he said again, moving his hips forward to rub himself against the older singer’s body, feeling some of the friction of Adam’s hand working.

“Yeah,” Adam said with a grunt, pumping himself even faster. “Your hand feels fucking great.” He rubbed Kris’ hand over the head of his cock, squeezing Kris’ fingers against it, before thrusting himself against into their hands again. His cock was starting to get slippery, and Adam moved their hands in time with his thrusts, getting as much friction as possible. Kris was so turned on he couldn’t think straight. He wanted so badly to feel all that great moisture and pressure over his own cock. He rubbed himself against Adam more passionately, moaning when Adam did, but a little louder. He watched and listened as Adam shook, making some of the most beautiful sounds he’d ever heard.

“Can I come?” Adam asked him, panting hot air against his face.

“Yeah,” Kris moaned, the word stretching on until it was a rough, needy sound deep in his throat. Adam jerked his hips forward as Kris did the same, desperately trying to feel some of that friction; he needed it so badly. Adam’s mouth opened with a shallow gasp as he tightened Kris’ hand around his cock and came. His body twitched, and Kris felt like he was shaking, too. He watched as Adam moaned and squirmed, and he felt hot cum dripping on his fingers and on his stomach.

He kissed Adam fiercely, rolling his tongue in the older singer’s mouth and sucking on his lips, panting and moaning his name and humping him shamelessly. Adam kissed back lazily, still on a cloud. Kris felt like he could come just by rubbing his cock against Adam if he wanted to, even through their clothing. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so turned on before.

“Did you like that?” Adam asked huskily.

“Yes,” Kris answered in a shaky breath, still rubbing desperately against him. “That was the hottest thing… ever.”

Adam laughed with a hum, and held Kris’ hips still. “Lie down,” he said. Kris rolled over to lie on his back, and Adam took his hand again. He watched as the older singer took his index finger into his mouth and sucked it, licking some cum off of it. Kris’ breathing sped up and his eyes widened. Adam put his free hand over Kris’ crotch, rubbing him gently as he took another finger and slipped it through his lips. Kris let his head fall back onto the pillow as he eased his hips up and down against Adam’s touch, enjoying the added feel of Adam’s mouth on his hand. He couldn’t help but wish that mouth was sucking on him somewhere else.

The older singer licked Kris’ palm with a smooth swipe, and kissed in between his knuckles, getting every bit of sperm off his skin. Kris waited impatiently for Adam’s attention to get back to his crotch, and bucked his hips as a reminder. Adam still took his sweet time, smiling. When he finished cleaning Kris’ hand, he let it fall onto the bed and he moved down to kiss Kris’ collarbone. Adam moved down further, tasting Kris’ nipple briefly and earning a heavy and shuddering sigh, before the kissed his way down to the brunette’s belly. Kris knew where this was going, and he knew it was exactly what he wanted, more than anything in the entire world. Adam’s hair fell onto his skin and brushed against him softly. He arched his back and rolled his hips up, urging Adam to move lower, now. Adam complied and his steady, graceful fingers pulled Kris’ pants down, and Kris felt the urge to shiver when his cock met the cool air of Adam’s bedroom.

“Do you want me to?” Adam asked politely, but kept his mouth very close to Kris’ aching erection, teasing him. There way no way Kris would have say no, and both men knew it.

Kris moaned, and moved his hips again. “Please,” he said, burying his fingers in Adam’s hair. Adam wrapped his lips immediately around the side of Kris’ cock, licking as he slid his mouth up to the tip. Kris panted and moved helplessly, needing more, needing much, much more. Adam licked again, expertly, from base to tip, before slipping Kris’ head into his mouth and sucking gently.

“Fu-uck,” Kris gasped, stretching the word as he arched his body and grabbed handfuls of Adam’s jet black hair. He was already so close, he wasn’t sure he could last much longer. Lowering his head to take more of Kris into his mouth, Adam hummed and let his hands travel over Kris’ thighs, squeezing.

When Adam’s tongue slid over and pressed against Kris’ slit, he knew he couldn’t hold on anymore. He made a high-pitched, whining groan and grabbed and clenched at Adam’s hair. Adam moved his mouth up and down, fast, as Kris tried to form a sentence.

“I-… I’m gonna co-” Kris tried to say, his voice cracking and the words trailing off into gasps and throaty moans. Adam moved faster, holding Kris’ thighs firmly as his head smoothly bobbed up and down. Kris panted, his eyes tightly shut, and Adam felt warm liquid shooting into his mouth. He drank it eagerly and trailed his tongue all over Kris’ cock, sucking, until Kris relaxed and his body fell back down onto the bed.

Kris sighed with a huff, and Adam lifted his head to smirk at him. “You’re good at that,” Kris said, amazed.

“Yeah,” Adam said with a laugh. “Well, you know.”

Kris stared at the ceiling. “Did that really just happen?” he asked, breathing.

“I think so.” Adam giggled quietly and licked his lips.

“Time is it?” Kris asked lazily, turning his head to catch a glimpse at the alarm clock. It was 5:19 AM. He laughed softly.

“What’s funny?” Adam asked, crawling up to lie next to him.

“We still have like 40 minutes before we have to get up,” Kris said. “Wanna go back to sleep?”

“Not tired,” Adam said, leaning forward to kiss the younger singer sloppily.

“Me neither,” Kris said between kisses. They both slid their arms freely along each other’s bodies, and Kris said, “Wouldn’t it be awesome if we made the top two?” Adam giggled and kissed his cheek.

“We could have this whole place to ourselves,” Kris said, smiling at the thought. “I don’t wanna get my hopes up or anything, but that would be pretty sweet, wouldn’t it?”

“I’d like that,” Adam said simply, grabbing Kris’ hips and jerking him forward playfully. Kris looked into his eyes, and wondered if Adam wasn’t his favorite person in the world.

----

When 6 AM came around, Kris and Adam got up, showered, ate breakfast, and prepared to go to their hometowns. Danny treated them like normal, Kris noticed, which was a relief, and it helped him to calm down slightly about last night’s ordeal.

The three men squeezed into a limo that drove them to the airport. Kris and Adam sat next to each other and spent the ride talking about what they expected or hoped to see during their visits. Kris slowly became more excited about it; all the fans, seeing his family, and being on the news all seemed pretty fun. When they went separate ways to board their flights, Adam and Kris exchanged a brief smile good-bye, and Kris waved to Danny.

----

The flight took a really long time, and Kris loved every second of it. He relaxed, got an hour or two of sleep, and was able to finally have some calm, private time with his thoughts. He thought of the show, of Adam, of his songs and singing, of Adam. He thought of Danny Gokey, he thought of Adam, he thought of the judges, he thought of the musicians, and he thought even more about Adam.

What was there to think about? He knew what was happening. He knew it wasn’t right, he already knew that, but traveling away from Adam and back to his wife and family made it seem… so much more wrong than it had before. His life had changed so much on Idol, and Adam had been there as Kris became a different person. Now he felt as if Adam knew him better than his own family did.

He felt uncomfortable now. His relationship with Adam was something he’d thought about a million times before, and he knew that Adam would always, somehow, be a part of his life. He knew that he wanted Adam, badly, but he’d somehow just assumed that the fixation, the need, would be temporary; it would be something that would soon run itself out of his system when he’d had enough, like having a craving. He’d been wrong. The more he got from Adam, the more he wanted. Kris had just thought that it would stop after he got his fix, but it had only left him feeling more, wanting more of Adam near him, touching him, holding him. Was this addiction?

Kris had told Adam a few weeks ago that he was addicted to him, as cheesy as it sounded. At the time he thought it was the truth, but that feeling was nothing compared to how Kris felt around Adam now. Kris had never really taken addictive drugs before, and he’d never developed an addiction to anything, so he didn’t know what it felt like. This must be it, he thought. He couldn’t imagine addiction could feel more powerful than the intensity of the pure want he experienced when he was with Adam Lambert.

The more he thought about his relationship with Adam, the more he missed him already. That was just plain sad.

----

His plane landed in Little Rock, but he soon went to a hotel for the night; the real homecoming trip would begin tomorrow. The hotel room was dark and lonely. He kept opening his eyes just as he was about to drift into sleep, half-waiting for his door to creak open. It was a strange habit he’d formed, not being able to fall asleep until Adam came to see him. He forced his eyes shut and slept face-down, throwing the sheet over his head.

----

The next day was crazy. Kris navigated through mazes of shrieking fans, signing so many posters, pictures, and papers that his hand began moving to shape his signature without Kris having to think about it at all. Cameras were shoved into his face every other second, and Kris glued a smile on his face. When he was able to slide into his limo for a break from the noise, he couldn’t relax his face completely. It was a little scary at first, but after a few hours of being in Conway he got used to his face feeling stiff.

When he first saw Katy, he hugged her like he hadn’t seen her in years. He squeezed her against his chest, feeling her golden hair and warm skin, reminding himself that this was his wife, the love of his life, and he loved her more than anything. She soon jabbed him in the side, and the first words she said to him were, “Kris, hun, let me go!”

He pulled away from her, embarrassed. “Sorry,” he said, eyes wide, taking her in.

“I missed you too,” she said, her smile lighting up her face. “But you’re gonna make me pass out if you hug me like that again!”

Kris half-smiled, pulling her into a gentler hug. He hadn’t realized the difference between her and Adam’s hugs until then. Adam’s were so much rougher, and felt more meaningful and satisfying. He never thought man-hugs would be something he enjoyed so much. He shook his head at the thought, and gave Katy a sweet peck on the lips when she pulled away from the hug. He’d missed seeing her skin glowing in the sunlight; she was so gorgeous.

He and Katy rode on the back of a car like a celebrity couple, surrounded by fans left and right, and it rained confetti. He waved, grinning humbly at the screaming teenagers, and he didn’t have time to think of anything other than the present. It was nice to not have to think for the time being, but he was waiting for some kind of terrible guilt to set in. He was relieved when it didn’t.

Later, Kris was driven to meet up with his family. They were all crowded around outside his parents’ house in a mob of familiar, warm faces, and Kris was so happy to see them all. He grabbed his dad into a hug first, swaying as he buried his head into his shoulder. His dad was crying, and Kris smiled at how emotional he always was.

“Love you, Dad,” he said quietly into his ear, rubbing his back. His father muttered something about being so proud of him in between small sobs, and Kris smiled big. The reunion felt a lot less real with all the cameras around, and Kris found that he wasn’t able to enjoy it fully. He managed to make it look like he was overwhelmingly happy, though, so his family was pleased with their meeting. He sighed, and part of him wished that American Idol didn’t have to change his life quite so much. He’d never get to be just another guy again, no matter how much he would probably soon want to be.

The rest of the day went according to Kris’ predetermined schedule, and he revisited some of his favorite places, and met a ton more people. The high energy that surrounded him was more than enough to keep a solid grin on his face.

----

He slept in another hotel that night, and sorted through all of the day’s excitement. Seeing Katy was great, and Kris honestly wished they could’ve spent more time together. He tried not to compare Katy and Adam, but his mind kept jumping between them, back and forth, and he couldn’t help but notice how they felt like two completely separate universes. His breath caught whenever he recalled his morning with Adam two days ago, and comparing that to sex with Katy seemed near impossible. He couldn’t compare them; they were so, so different.

Katy was his life, his entire life. Up until American Idol. Now his life was Adam, and that just wasn’t okay.

He shook his head back and forth. It needed to stop. Any sort of future with Adam wouldn’t be possible, so why the fuck was he screwing up his life and wasting his time with him? He knew the answer, but suddenly it didn’t seem good enough. Adam was amazing, and so sexy that it shouldn’t even be allowed, and Kris adored him. He loved talking to him and being around him, and he especially loved fooling around with him. Everything about Adam made Kris’ brain whirl with pleasure and excitement.

Kris lay awake, thinking, and he knew he had to end it. The thrill of being with Adam was great, but it definitely wasn’t worth jeopardizing his entire life and future with Katy. It would be really difficult, but he knew he had to stick to it. If things kept on the way they were, Kris knew he would end up ashamed, guilty, and just fucked up. Stopping now could be his way of redeeming himself, somewhat. His time with Adam was undeniably fun, but he had to stop and get serious.

His cell phone lit up, buzzing on the nightstand. Kris reached for it and flipped it open. A text from Adam. He sat for a minute, wondering what it might say, before opening it. It said “Hows ur visit going? Miss me yet?” Looking at it almost made Kris feel sick, both from guilt and fear. He’d let this whole thing go way too far. “No, I need to talk to u when we get back,” he texted back. He swallowed hard before hitting send. Breaking his addiction was going to be painful.

He closed his eyes, and quietly prayed to God for strength to help him through it. He knew he’d need it.
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Age : 35
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PostSubject: Re: Exciting Game   Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:18 am

Chapter eleven

The idols were usually able to take it easy on the weekend, but not this week. The finale was in three days, and Adam and Kris were on the go constantly. Kris didn’t care much about the finale anymore; he would have much preferred to just spend the day in Adam’s bed. The last few days, no, the last few months had been exhausting, and it was really catching up with him. Adam was excited about the finale, though, and his energy made the planning a lot more fun.

They spent most of the morning rehearsing, sometimes together, always exchanging glances every chance they could. It was so much fun, and Kris couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Everything was the complete opposite that it had been yesterday. Kris’ only problem was that he kept having to fight impulses to touch Adam more than necessary, more than a “good friend” would. It really sucked that they had to be so secretive, but Kris was much too happy about last night to even care at the moment.

The other 11 contestants that made up the top 13 were around, practicing all the group songs while Kris and Adam practiced their three songs for Tuesday’s show. It was crazy how much the two of them had to do this week—sing three songs for Tuesday, while learning all of the other performances for Wednesday. Kris wanted to get his songs, “Ain’t No Sunshine,” “What’s Going On,” and “No Boundaries,” all set before he focused too much on the overwhelming amount of stuff he needed to learn by Wednesday. There were going to be so many huge stars for the big finale—Cyndi Lauper, Queen Latifa, Steve Martin, Santana, Jason Mraz, Fergie… Kris couldn’t even think of them all off the top of his head—and a lot of the contestants were singing duets with some of them.

Kris would be singing “Kiss A Girl” with Keith Urban, which was sort of amusing, but he was really looking forward to it nonetheless. And Adam would be singing with Kiss, which Kris still found unbelievable. Adam, of course, was most excited about finally being able to wear his platform boots on the Idol stage.

“Aren’t Kris and I going to sing something together?” Adam asked a producer around lunchtime.

“Well,” the producer started, looking tired, “We’re waiting to hear back from Brian May to see if you two can sing ‘We Are the Champions’ with Queen.”

Adam made a dry, choking noise, his bright eyes popping out of his head. “Queen?!”

“Awesome!” Kris yelled, happy for an excuse to throw his arm around Adam’s body. He affectionately squeezed himself against Adam, and they held each other tight, swaying.

“It’s not for certain, but it’s looking good,” the producer added. Adam was bouncing on his heels, creating friction between them. Kris made himself pull away.

“So, Queen,” he said coolly, when the producer had walked off.

“I am… way too happy for words.” Adam’s smile was infectious.

The day wasn’t moving fast enough. Kris remembered back when he’d just made the top 13, and the thing he most looked forward to during the day was eating dinner. Now he couldn’t care less about food, or anything else really. He only looked forward to getting back to the mansion and spending more time with Adam, alone. Being around him all day and only being able to look was becoming increasingly unbearable.

Adam giving him those looks wasn’t helping either. The eye contact. Kris’ heart ran wild when he looked into Adam’s eyes. He spent a good portion of the day thinking about what they could be doing if they weren’t obligated to rehearse.

5 o’clock and, God dammit, Kris could swear Adam was doing it on purpose. Little touches. Every time Adam was near him, his fingers would lightly stroke his arm, or he would pat his shoulder, and it was always just enough to make Kris’ skin tingle and drive him insane. At least Kris wasn’t the only one; he could see that Adam looked a little tense, too.

“This is torture,” he whispered to Adam when they were standing in the hallway, a good distance away from everyone else.

“I know,” Adam said calmly, smirking a little.

Kris leaned over to him, and his lips brushed against Adam’s ear. “Can’t wait to get back,” he said in a harsh whisper. Adam stiffened and bit the corner of his lower lip.

It was finally 7:30, and Kris was waiting for Adam in the van. He wished they could ride in a limo instead, even though it was a short trip back to the mansion, and it was only the two of them. The van was so—not private. The driver was nice, but he wouldn’t stop talking—asking about how Kris’ day went, how prepared he is so far, just everything Kris really didn’t feel like discussing anymore. He just wanted Adam to hurry up so they could get back to the mansion and have the whole night for themselves.

When Adam finally came jogging out of the building, he was holding his cell phone up to his ear. Kris threw him a huge, enthusiastic smile, but Adam didn’t seem to notice. He climbed into the van, still talking on the phone.

“I’m busy, you know I’m busy. What am I supposed to—” Adam argued in a low voice. “Drake, I’m sorry. The finale is coming up. I don’t have free time.” Kris’ mood dropped at the sound of Drake’s name. The driver cleared his throat, starting up the van.

“Another week, and I can probably do something. How’s that sound? Ok, I’ll—hey, I’ll talk to you later,” Adam said, talking quickly. “Bye.” He flipped his phone closed and ran his hand through his hair, sighing. Kris wished he knew the other half of the conversation.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice close to monotone.

“He wants time with me but I don’t have it,” Adam said simply.

“You’re gonna go out with him next week,” Kris stated plainly, frowning.

“Yeah, maybe,” Adam said, his voice a little dull. “It’s not like I can just ignore him, Kris.”

“You don’t have to ignore him, just tell him—” Kris cut himself off as he caught the driver watching them in the rearview mirror. He leaned back into his seat and gave Adam an upset look.

They waited until they were back in the mansion to start talking again. Adam closed the door behind him, and Kris was looking up at him when he turned back around.

“Why don’t you just tell him the truth?” Kris asked. “I thought you hated lying to people.”

Adam looked upset. “I do. But I can’t tell him. We can’t tell anyone about this.”

“You think Drake would tell someone?” Kris asked.

Adam shrugged, shaking his head. “I don’t know, probably not. But I can’t risk it. If this gets out, we’ll both be done for.” He looked down at Kris and asked, “Do you think you can keep quiet about it, too? I mean, we sort of have to.”

Kris nodded; he’d thought about it a lot before, he knew it would all have to be a big secret. Just between them. It would be difficult, but it also made it more personal and more intense.

Kris wrapped his arms around Adam, pulling him close. “Don’t go out with Drake,” he said calmly.

Adam sighed. “If I break up with him now, I’m sure he’ll know.” His hands were on Kris’ shoulders, squeezing, and Kris asked him, “How can he know?”

“I used to talk about you… a lot. It was a joke between us. I would tell him about how cute I thought you were, and all the flirting we did together. I stopped telling him about it when it went farther than flirting… so he’s been asking about it. I just laugh it off and tell him nothing’s going on. What am I supposed to say?”

“Shit,” Kris said, thinking.

“I can’t just break up with him. He knows me really well. He’ll know there’s definitely something happening.”

Kris ducked his head into Adam’s chest. “I see what you mean. Damn, you man-whore,” he said, adding a laugh to lighten things up.

Adam laughed, too, and started walking down the hall, pulling Kris along with him. “I can’t help it if all the boys want me,” he teased.

“Don’t forget all the girls,” Kris said, laughing louder. Adam smiled and laced their fingers together, and Kris squeezed his hand against Adam's affectionately.

“We’re finally back,” Kris sighed, still with a small smile on his face.

“Finally,” Adam agreed, walking even faster. “Today took way too long. How am I supposed to focus all day knowing we’re gonna have the house all to ourselves again tonight?”

Kris grinned, happy that Adam had been as excited as he was. They hurried back to Adam’s room, their room, and Kris’ hands were sliding under Adam’s shirt as soon as they walked through the door.

“Want you so bad,” he mumbled as they both stumbled over to the bed. Adam giggled and leaned down to kiss him lightly. Kris pulled Adam onto him, and softly gasped at the feeling of their bodies pressed together. He’d wanted this all day, and now he could finally have it. Kris let out a blissful moan when Adam moved against him, his mouth trailing over the skin on Kris’ neck. Kris could feel the smile on his lips.

He pulled at Adam’s jacket, managing to slide it off his shoulders. Adam took it off himself quickly, tossing it aside before pulling his shirt over his head, too. Kris stared up at him, watching, and it surprised him how much just the sight of Adam’s freckled skin turned him on.

“Sexy,” he murmured as Adam leaned back down over him. Adam laughed and hummed something that sounded like, “Yeah, sure,” his hands already snapping open the buttons of Kris’ plaid shirt. The air felt cold against Kris’ chest as his shirt was pulled open, but then Adam’s warm hands were on him again.

“Not like you,” Adam whispered, his fingers tracing over defined muscles. The compliment flattered Kris, probably more than it should have, and he felt the need to return the favor.

“You’re—” was all Kris could manage before Adam’s tongue was in his mouth, silencing him. Adam was unbuckling his belt and he was dizzy with excitement. He wasn’t sure he’d ever wanted Adam to touch him as badly as he did now. He was sweating already, so he slipped his arms out of his shirt, before leaning back onto his elbows.

“Yeah,” he breathed as Adam’s hand slid into his pants, much too slowly. He moved his hips to rub his cock against Adam’s hand eagerly, and shuddered with pleasure when Adam’s fingers finally curled around him. Adam stroked him slowly, pinning Kris down and digging his teeth into his neck, while Kris moved helplessly under him.

Then Adam’s mouth left, and Kris opened his eyes to see him kneeling onto the floor. He was tugging at Kris’ pants, trying to get them down further, so Kris pulled them down himself and quickly slid his legs out of them. As soon as he sat back down on the bed, Adam was holding his cock and bowing his head to run his tongue over it.

Kris took in a hiss of air as his head fell backwards, his eyes wide but looking at nothing. Adam quickly sucked Kris’ cock into his mouth and pressed his tongue against the shaft, and the needy sound that slipped from Kris’ throat was a little embarrassing. Adam moved expertly, wrapping his hand around the base and sucking, licking, moving fast. He twisted his lips around, moved his hand up and down, and the feeling was too much to handle. Kris couldn’t even warn Adam when he was about to come, he just made a strangled sound and jerked his hips forward. Adam drank it all, licking his cock over a few times to get every drop, and Kris fell back against the bed completely, just breathing.

Adam crawled back up onto him and kissed his cheek. “You taste great, baby,” he said huskily. Kris groaned in response, and Adam chuckled lightly. Kris pulled his face down and kissed him, slow and wet. Everything felt perfect. He moved his hands down Adam’s smooth back, and slid his fingers under his tight black pants.

“Take these off,” he said, smiling under Adam’s mouth. Adam smirked, standing up slowly, and swayed his hips playfully as he pulled his pants off. Kris felt blessed, just being able to watch.

“Now what?” Adam asked, still smiling, as he leaned back over Kris’ face, brushing their lips together gently. Kris gasped when he felt the hardness of Adam’s cock rubbing against his ass. His heart rate picked up, and his mouth was getting really, really dry.

“What?” Adam sounded concerned. He’d probably seen the nervousness in Kris’ expression.

“Do you… want to?” Kris asked tentatively. Adam flashed a huge, reassuring grin before leaning his head down.

“I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want to do,” he whispered before kissing Kris deeply. Feeling a little relieved, Kris kissed back. He wasn’t sure. Did he want to?

A quiet buzz suddenly broke the silence, and Kris’ eyes snapped open in a surprise. His cell phone was ringing. Adam slid off of him and Kris got up to find his jeans on the floor. Slipping the phone out of the pocket, he looked at the caller I.D.

“It’s Katy,” he said, turning to glance at Adam. Should he answer it? How was he supposed to talk to his wife when he was with Adam, naked? Adam looked calm, but Kris was panicking. “What should I do?” he asked, his eyes wide.

“You can answer it,” Adam said, sitting up on the bed.

“I’m naked,” Kris argued, looking down at himself, then back over at Adam. The phone buzzed for the fifth time. Adam shrugged, and Kris let out a heavy breath before opening his phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, baby,” Katy greeted.

“Hi, Katy,” he said, glancing at Adam again. He took a few steps and sat down on the bed. “What’s up?”

“Well, you haven’t called me in days,” she said. She didn’t sound upset, just curious.

“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s been so busy around here. You know…” he said, keeping his voice even. It was crazy that he was so uncomfortable talking to his own wife on the phone.

“Is everything okay?” She asked, sounding concerned. Kris’ heart pounded.

“Yeah,” he answered, trying hard to sound normal. “Everything’s going okay. Why?”

“You sound different,” she answered with a laugh.

“Oh,” he said, relieved. “Sorry.” He glanced at Adam again nervously, and Adam’s warm hand was on his. He exhaled. “Yeah, I’m just a little stressed. There’s a lot to do.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I wish I could help you.”

“Yeah,” he said, not knowing what else to say. “So what’s going on with you?”

“Nothing really,” she answered, bored. “I can’t wait for you to get off that dumb show. Just another few days and we can finally see each other.”

“Yeah, it’s almost over,” he said. He felt guilty for wishing the show would never end, only so he could stay with Adam, in this mansion forever.

“You gonna miss it there?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’ve really gotten used to it here. It’ll be weird to go back to normal, you know?”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

Kris sat, thinking. Being on American Idol had changed his life, it had changed him. Adam had been there with him, through the whole thing. They had experienced it together. Adam knew him, probably better than his wife did now. Funny how months on this show had changed nearly everything about his life and about him. But it felt like a positive change, something that was necessary. A step forward.

“Kris?”

“Oh—sorry,” he said. Katy laughed, and he added, “I’m just tired.”

“Should I let you get some rest?”

“Yeah, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” he said, looking at Adam again. He looked bored, and Kris suddenly felt terrible.

“Okay, bye, hun. Good luck!”

“Thanks. Bye,” he said hastily.

“Love you,” she chimed.

“Love you, too,” he said back as a reflex. He saw the change on Adam’s face as he closed his phone. Squeezing Adam’s hand, he scooted closer.

“I’m sorry, Adam,” he said, frowning as he leaned against him.

“For what? She’s your wife,” Adam said with a smile. Kris sat silently for a while, thinking of what to say. He wanted Adam to feel better about this; he wanted to tell him how important he was.

“If I had to choose between you and her,” Kris said slowly, “I think I’d choose you.” He was still as he waited for Adam to respond. He wasn’t sure if that was something he should have told him.

“Kris,” Adam said, his voice sounding off. He wrapped his arms around Kris’ body, pressing them together. “You shouldn’t say that.”

“I feel really bad about it,” Kris mumbled into Adam’s neck. “But I can’t help it.” His hands ran up Adam’s back, feeling his skin.

“Don’t you love her?” Adam asked.

“Yeah, I do,” Kris answered. “I’ve known her forever. But she’s just something totally different from you…”

“You love me?”

“What?” The question caught Kris off guard.

“Well, you love your wife, but you said you would choose me over her, so…”

“Oh,” Kris mumbled, embarrassed. He didn’t move.

“Do you?” Adam chuckled, holding Kris in his arms and twisting around. Kris’ face was still pressed against Adam’s throat. He didn’t know what to say. He knew the answer, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to admit it to Adam.

Suddenly Kris was pushed backwards, and he landed against the mattress with Adam hovering over him. Slowly pressing down onto him, Adam asked again, his voice heated and dangerous.

“Do you?”

Kris looked up at Adam’s eyes, his breath shaky. He felt weak. “What if I do?”

“Answer me,” Adam commanded, rolling his hips. Kris gasped and lifted his own hips, moaning as Adam moved against him again. He was extremely hard already.

“Screw you,” Kris choked out, trying to catch his breath.

“Fine,” Adam said with a smirk. “You can screw me.”

Kris blinked, and Adam’s mouth was against his cheek, planting hot kisses. Was he serious? Just the thought was making Kris’ erection ache to be touched. He moaned and moved against Adam again, rubbing their cocks together.

“I’d like that,” he whispered, his mouth close to Adam’s ear. A moment went by before Adam turned his head to kiss him, and Kris wondered if it had even been a serious offer.

“Normally I don’t take the bottom,” Adam said quietly, pausing to kiss Kris’ mouth again. “But with you I don’t mind.”

“Really?” Kris asked. His heart fluttered in his chest, and his skin tingled.

“If you want to,” Adam said, looking Kris in the eye and smirking.

“Okay,” Kris said, his breath coming quicker. Adam smiled playfully, and rolled off of Kris and onto his side. Kris turned toward him, thinking. He had no idea what to do.

“Is it…” he started to ask, but stopped when he realized how stupid it sounded. He climbed on top of Adam, rolling him onto his back and leaning down to kiss him.

“Is it what?” Adam asked between heavy breaths.

“Nevermind,” Kris laughed. He could figure it out, he hoped. He slid his hands down Adam’s sides, feeling him.

“Is it what?” Adam asked again, persistent.

“It’s a dumb question.” Kris’ smile was sheepish.

“Just ask,” Adam said, grabbing Kris by the hips and pulling him closer.

“I was gonna ask if it’s like it is with a girl,” Kris said, gasping as Adam rubbed against him eagerly.

“That’s not a dumb question,” Adam said seriously, and pulled Kris’ face down to kiss him. “It isn’t exactly like sex with women. Do you want me to tell you what to do?”

Kris nodded, thankful for the offer. Sitting up, Adam scanned around the room, like he was looking for something. Kris was pushed backwards a little, and he sat on Adam’s thighs.

“What are you looking for?” he asked.

“Uhh, I have a bag… somewhere…” Adam trailed off, distracted. Kris looked at him, confused.

“You don’t need a bag for this.”

Adam laughed loudly. “No, but we need lube and condoms.”

“Oh,” Kris said, sliding off Adam’s lap. “Okay.” He felt clueless.

Adam soon found his bag under the bed, and pulled a small bottle and some condoms out, smiling happily at Kris.

“Uh, just out of curiosity,” Kris said, smiling, “why do you keep lube and condoms in a bag under your bed?”

Adam’s smile dimmed a little as he tossed the bag back on the floor. “Well, I expected to need them for Drake.” Kris’ mind numbed; he didn’t want to think about Drake right now. He didn’t want to picture Adam and Drake together like this.

Adam’s hands squeezed Kris’ shoulders, and he leaned in to kiss him. His tongue slid easily into Kris’ mouth, and Kris almost immediately forgot why he was upset. He gently leaned Adam backwards to fall on top of him again, and broke the kiss, eyeing the bottle in Adam’s hand curiously.

“So do I just…?” he trailed off, not even sure how to finish his sentence.

“Put this on your fingers,” Adam instructed, filling him in. He handed the bottle over. Kris spread some lube over his index finger. He had an idea of what to do from here.

After his fingers were slick with lubricant, Kris leaned over Adam again and kissed him hungrily as his arm reached down Adam’s body. His fingers soon slid between Adam’s legs and found his warm hole, and he visibly shuddered just from the feeling of it under his fingertips. He hesitated a second before slipping a finger inside. Adam moaned, and pushed against it, sending it deeper.

“This is really fucking hot,” he panted against Adam’s lips.

Adam rocked his hips eagerly. “Come on,” he breathed, his eyes squeezed shut. Kris was so turned on. Making Adam look like this just by putting a finger inside him was just… unbelievable. He pushed another finger inside and heard Adam’s breath catch.

“Does that feel good?” he asked curiously, licking his lips.

“Yeah, it feels good, keep going,” Adam said in between quick, shaky breaths. Kris slid in a third finger hesitantly.

“Am I doing this right?” he asked, moving his fingers around. Adam nodded, gasping at the sensation. Kris was completely fascinated; he wondered what Adam was feeling. It looked like it felt really good.

“Yeah, you’re perfect,” Adam said, still pushing himself onto Kris’ fingers. “You can fuck me now, I’m all ready,” he groaned in a low voice, looking up at Kris with half-lidded eyes.

Kris slowly pulled his fingers out, his heart racing at the thought of what was happening next. It was all so new and exciting. He reached over for a condom and hurriedly tore off the wrapper.

“Come on,” Adam whined. Kris rolled the condom on and squirted a little more lube into his hand. He spread it over his cock and positioned himself between Adam’s legs. Leaning down, he placed a few gentle kisses on Adam’s open, panting mouth.

“You ready?” he asked in a breath.

“Fuck, Kris, just do it,” Adam whined, his hands finding Kris’ hips and directing them.

This part, Kris knew. He felt okay about this. He pushed into Adam slowly, breathing harshly as Adam squirmed under him, trying to push him deeper. “Do it,” he repeated, sounding a little hysterical. Unable to hold back anymore, Kris pushed himself fully in, kissing Adam passionately and grabbing at his spiky, black hair. It was so tight. So much tighter than Katy, he couldn’t help but think. Adam’s breath was erratic.

“Does it hurt?” Kris asked, breathing heavily. “Are you okay?”

Adam nodded eagerly. “It’s fine, go faster,” he breathed between soft moans. Kris moved quicker, already feeling like he was on the edge.

“You feel fucking amazing,” he panted, moving slowly in and out. He felt Adam’s legs wrap around him, and he thrust harder, earning more quiet, steady moans from him. Adam’s cock pressed against Kris' stomach, stiff and leaking, and Kris reached a hand down to wrap around it. He stroked Adam in time with his thrusts as Adam’s hands clawed at his back.

“Yeah,” Kris breathed, enjoying each sound that Adam was making, all because of him. Adam’s loud breaths became more desperate, and Kris pumped him even faster, his mind overflowing from pleasure and lust. It was all building up, he was almost there.

Adam let out a loud cry as he suddenly came, his back arching and his fingernails digging into Kris’ skin. Kris watched his face and felt Adam’s cum, hot and wet between their bodies, and it was only a few more seconds before he was coming, too. Adam’s hands were suddenly behind Kris’ head, pulling his face down, and Adam kissed him roughly. Kris’ arms gave out and he fell against Adam’s chest. His hips moved forward once more as he floated down from his high. Adam kissed his shoulder as Kris lay on top of him, just trying to catch his breath.

“Was that good?” he asked, pulling out of Adam slowly and making him quietly gasp.

“That was great,” Adam sighed, laying his head back as Kris pulled off the condom. Kris wrapped it carefully in a tissue and tossed it out before falling back onto Adam. “Did you like it?” Adam asked him, rubbing his shoulder blade.

“Yeah,” Kris groaned, biting into a spot on Adam’s neck, just under his jaw line, that Adam always seemed to respond to. Adam swiftly sucked in a breath of air, arching his back slightly. “Did I hurt you at all?” he asked before placing a kiss where his teeth had just been.

“No, not at all,” Adam said, stroking Kris’ hair now. “It might be a little sore tomorrow, but…”

“Sorry,” Kris mumbled, shutting his eyes.

“So how did it compare?” Adam asked after a few more seconds. “With women, I mean.”

“Well, woman… I’ve only been with Katy,” Kris said, ignoring the stab of guilt he felt at the mention of his wife. “But it was pretty good… really good. But I don’t think it has anything to do with men or women. It’s just you.”

“Just me,” Adam sang back. “The man you love.”

“Don’t tease me about that,” Kris complained, embarrassed. He lifted himself off of Adam, purposely frowning.

“Aw, I’m sorry,” Adam laughed, sitting up. “It’s nothing you should be embarrassed about, though!”

“It sort of is,” he mumbled. “And I really need a shower.” He started to climb off the bed but Adam grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

“If you love someone, you shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed of it,” Adam said softly. “And I’m glad to know you love me, even if you haven’t actually said it yet.” He cracked a smile.

Kris didn’t feel better about it. He felt exposed, vulnerable, now that Adam knew. Adam could completely break him now. Kris didn’t know if Adam loved him back, and he was terrified to ask. Either way, it would change things. He wasn't sure if he'd even want to know. Everything would be more pressured, now that the word “love” had been thrown in to the mix. As if the situation wasn’t stressful enough already.

“What?” Adam asked, giving Kris’ wrist a concerned squeeze. Kris didn’t know what to tell him.

“Nothin’,” he said, then looked up into Adam’s eyes. “I need a shower, though.” He was covered in sweat, and there was still a mess on his stomach.

“We need a shower,” Adam amended, giggling as he stood up and waited for Kris to come with him. Kris laughed and let Adam lead him to the bathroom.

“So was it hot when you walked in on me getting out of the shower the other day?” Adam asked, smiling as he remembered.

“It actually was,” Kris answered. He was happy about how things had changed since then. “Too bad I couldn’t do anything about it.”

Adam turned on the shower, and spun back around to face Kris, grinning. “What would you have done?”

Kris grinned back at him. “I’ll show you what,” he responded and pulled Adam into the shower with him.

Later in the night, after both men had gotten out of the shower and gotten dressed, Kris flopped back onto Adam’s bed. They had been talking for a while about Kris’ upbringing; how people in the south were different and how they weren’t different. Kris had gone on about how nice people were in his hometown.

“…I don’t know very much about you,” Kris said suddenly, in wonder. “That’s not fair.”

“What? How is it not fair?” Adam laughed. “I haven’t hidden anything about me. What do you want to know?” He sat down on the bed and Kris pulled him closer, crumpling the sheets.

“I dunno. Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

“Umm…” Adam hummed in thought. He was quiet for a few seconds. “Well I’m sort of a control freak. I don’t know if you knew that about me.”

“You are?” Kris asked. Come to think of it, Adam always was in control in most situations.

“Yeah. I like to control things.”

Kris nodded slowly. “I guess that makes sense. Tell me something else.”

“If you tell me something,” Adam retorted. He fell onto his back, sprawling out on the bed next to Kris. “What don’t I know about you?”

“I don’t know. I think I tell you just about everything,” Kris said plainly.

“Well then tell me a secret,” Adam said in a hushed voice, smiling. Kris thought for a good minute. Did he have a secret? Well, Adam was his secret, and always would be. Other than that…

“I can’t think of anything.”

“Come on,” Adam encouraged him. “There must be something that you’ve never told anyone ever before.”

“I’m bi,” Kris said. “I’ve never told that to anyone.”

“I already knew that,” Adam complained. “You’re boring.”

“So it’s a bad thing that I don’t have secrets?” Kris adjusted himself so his head rested comfortably on Adam’s shoulder.

“Everybody has at least one secret.”

“What’s yours?” Kris asked, stretching his neck to glance up at Adam’s face.

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a secret anymore,” Adam giggled.

“So you’re trying to get me to confess my secret when you aren’t even willing to tell me yours?”

“That’s right.”

“You’re such a jerk,” Kris mumbled, trailing his hand over Adam’s chest absently. “Just tell me. I won’t tell anyone.”

“Okay, but you’re gonna laugh at me,” Adam said, making his voice higher pitched and whiny.

“I won’t laugh,” Kris promised.

“So do you know that guy… Kris Allen from American Idol?” Adam said, keeping his tone normal. Kris tried hard not to laugh.

“Yeah, what about him?”

“Well, I sort of have a huge fanboy crush on him,” Adam confessed with a heavy sigh

“Are you serious? I had no idea,” Kris joked. “Is he better looking than me?”

“Much. Sorry.”

Kris slipped, and a snort of a laugh shook his body. “What’s so great about this Kris Allen guy, anyway?” he asked, unable to stop smiling.

“I told you you would laugh,” Adam said, smacking Kris lightly on the head. “Everything about Kris Allen is great! He’s so cute.”

“Cute? Really?”

“Yeah, he’s totally my type. I could do dirty, dirty things to that boy.”

Kris laughed again, more loudly this time. Adam’s chest shook with a small chuckle, too. “Oh yeah?” Kris asked. “And that’s your big secret?”

“Nope,” Adam laughed.

“I see what you mean about being a control freak, now,” Kris said, laughing even more and earning another gentle smack from Adam. Kris couldn’t ever remember having such a good time with someone. He felt free and just blissful. He and Adam got along so well that it was even a little strange to think about, not that Kris minded at all. He loved Adam, and he loved every second they spent together.

But, it was hard to think about Drake and Katy and pretty much everything that would happen once he and Adam left the show. Just a few days. That’s all they had.

“I’ll tell you if you really want to know,” Adam finally said. His voice immediately pulled Kris away from his thoughts.

“I really want to know,” Kris urged, incredibly curious.

“I love you,” Adam said easily, like it was an obvious fact. Like he was clueing Kris in on something he should have already known.

“Oh,” Kris said slowly. His mouth was warm against Adam’s shoulder. Adam laughed so hard that his whole body shook.

“Oh,” he said, mocking Kris’ voice, and laughed again. Kris was motionless, his head still tucked in Adam’s shoulder.

“That’s a good thing, I think,” Adam said, still laughing, but not as loudly. “Are you alive?”

“Yeah,” Kris said, his voice just above a whisper. Adam waited a few long seconds, waiting for Kris to say something else.

“Kris, are you upset?” Adam asked suddenly, surprised and concerned. He sat up in the bed, and Kris lifted his head.

“No, not at all,” he said, sounding groggy. “Sorry. I just wasn’t expecting to hear that.”

“And why not?” Adam asked, sliding to lay back down next to Kris, facing him.

“I dunno,” Kris said.

“You look like you’re scared shitless,” Adam pointed out, looking Kris in the eye carefully.

“Oh,” Kris said, and adjusted his face. “Sorry.” He was so overwhelmed that he actually didn’t know how to express it. He was overjoyed to hear Adam say that he loved him, but still wondered if Adam was maybe only saying it because he felt pressured to. Adam was perfect, and it was just… hard for Kris to believe. At the same time, he felt hugely surprised by it all. If Adam really loved him, why hadn’t he said anything sooner? Dozens of emotions ran through Kris’ body, but he mostly felt intense joy and acceptance. He had no idea how to explain any of it.

Adam was searching for something in Kris’ face, some sort of indication of why he was acting this way, but he couldn’t find any. Carefully, he cupped Kris’ face in his hands and brushed their lips together. Kris let out a warm breath against Adam’s mouth, before leaning closer to kiss him back. The kiss was slow but passionate, and the two singers shut their eyes and communicated their feelings through their gently-moving tongues and lips. It was enough.
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PostSubject: Re: Exciting Game   Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:19 am

Chapter twelve


Kris woke up slowly, feeling snug and calm. The alarm clock was blaring, but he couldn’t bring himself to move away from Adam’s warm arms. Instead he scooted closer, his nose brushing against Adam’s slow-moving chest. The alarm still hadn’t woken Adam up.

Still half asleep, Kris decided that the most fun way to wake him up was to slide his hand down and over Adam’s crotch. He was hard, and Kris was, too; morning wood was pretty much a sure thing since they’d slept almost pressed against each other. Adam groaned a little when Kris pressed his palm against him. The alarm still beeped , the repetitive sound drilling into Kris' head. He pushed against Adam’s chest, rolling him onto his back, and climbed on top of him. Adam was stirring; he made a small sound and his eyelids were moving, and Kris grinded against him, pressing down hard and moving his hips slowly forward to drag his cock over Adam’s.

Adam woke with a quiet gasp, and Kris pinned his arms to the bed, smiling. Adam laughed a little, Kris could barely hear it over the alarm.

“What’re you doing?” Adam asked, his voice thick and dry from sleep.

“You weren’t waking up,” Kris said, still rubbing his cock against Adam’s harshly. Adam hummed tiredly and lifted his arms to squeeze Kris’ ass as he lifted his hips.

“Now I’m horny,” Adam complained. “And why did you wake me up? You’re supposed to shower first.” He tossed his head to the side to look at the clock.

“I don’t wanna leave you if I don’t have to,” Kris said, a little embarrassed at how needy he sounded. He leaned down to kiss Adam briefly and said, “Shower with me.”

“Fine,” Adam sighed, and tossed Kris off of him. He rolled over, stretching his arm out to slap the snooze button on the clock.

The day dragged by as Adam and Kris rehearsed their performances and prepared for the finale. They were so close to the end. No matter what would happen, Kris knew his life would be drastically different. He tried not to think about it; he didn’t need to be stressing himself out over things that hadn’t even happened yet.

It didn’t help that Kris was having a hard time focusing. His mind kept traveling back to the night before. Sex with Adam had been incredible. Being in love with Adam was incredible. He was so, so thankful that he and Adam still had a few more nights to spend together. He wondered if he’d be able to be intimate with Katy again. She was still his wife, still sexy, still someone that Kris loved and adored. She just wasn’t Adam. Kris wouldn’t be able to make her as happy as she deserved to be now that he was in love with someone else.

But he couldn’t just leave her out of nowhere. She would get suspicious if he did, and it wouldn’t be long before she found out about what was going on, he knew. Would he really have to stay with her, just to keep the secret? Kris hadn’t put much thought into how he would handle being with Katy again. He didn’t regret being with Adam, but he would still feel intense guilt about it later on, for sure.

Through the day, between and during all the rehearsing, Kris’ mind couldn’t rest. It was exhausting.

“Your eyes look green,” Kris commented when they got back to the mansion. Adam was wearing a shimmering light green shirt, and the color must have reflected into his eyes. “I didn’t know they could change color.”

“Happens sometimes,” Adam said, his usual smile lighting up his face. “Yours change color, too,”

“Not really,” Kris laughed. He couldn’t stop smiling; now that they were finally back, sitting in their now shared room, Kris felt totally better. He pulled Adam’s shirt up, and Adam lifted it over his head, smiling wider.

“They’re still green,” Kris said in amazement, leaning closer for a better look. Adam quickly cupped his face and kissed him, smooth and gentle. Kris’ eyes fell closed, and the familiar sensation of arousal crawled on his skin. His hands slid slowly up Adam’s sides.

“We only have a few more nights,” Adam said when he pulled away, his voice a little heavy. He must have been thinking a lot about it, too.

“Yeah,” Kris said, looking up at him. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t say that it would be okay after the show ended, because he honestly had no idea what would happen. All they could do for now was make the most of the time they had left together.

Adam seemed to be on the same page. His mouth was on Kris’ again, moving more hungrily, intensely, and Kris hummed a surprised moan against his lips. He pushed Adam gently down onto the bed and leaned over him, his hand sliding impatiently down to rub Adam’s hardening cock. Kris broke the kiss, only for a second, to fling his shirt off, and dropped his head down to crush their lips together again. Adam moaned and jerked his hips when one of Kris’ teeth accidentally dug painfully into his lower lip, and Kris automatically pulled away to apologize, breathless.

“I don’t mind,” Adam answered simply, and Kris replayed in his head the sound that Adam had just made.

“Oh,” he said, dizzy from all the intensity. So pain was a turn-on for Adam. The thought made Kris a little uneasy, but he leaned over to kiss Adam again, experimentally biting his lip.

Adam sucked in a shaky breath and pulled Kris closer to grind against him roughly. Kris rolled his hips a few times as he let his mouth travel down to Adam’s neck. He bit him there, too, sucking a little.

“Don’t leave any marks,” Adam said suddenly, his hand now against Kris’ hair.

“Oh, right,” Kris said embarrassedly, lifting his head to look at where his mouth had just been. It was a little red, but it looked like it would fade. Kris collapsed onto Adam again, feeling like an idiot. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“That might be a little hard to explain,” Adam said with a quiet laugh.

Kris sighed, hot against Adam’s skin. “I’m so bad at this.”

“No, you’re not,” Adam said seriously, his voice clear. Kris didn’t say anything; he just kissed Adam softly on the neck a few more times, rocking against him a little.

“Why do you think that?” Adam asked after another few seconds.

“I dunno,” Kris answered. “I don’t know how to do anything good.”

“You do things just fine,” Adam said. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah, sure,” Kris said, laughing. “Tell me I’m not the most inexperienced guy you’ve ever been with.” He stopped moving against Adam, growing more self-conscious.

Adam had to think about it for a few seconds. “Well I guess you are,” he said. “But you’re not bad.”

“But I’m not good.”

“You’re good at some things,” Adam offered.

“You’re good at everything,” Kris mumbled, nuzzling against Adam’s freckled shoulder. Adam smiled and wrapped his arms around Kris.

“Am I?” he asked, giggling.

“Um, yes,” Kris answered. “And don’t act like you don’t know it.”

“Well I guess I’ll just teach you as much as I can, then,” Adam said, his voice more heated. Kris shivered a little as Adam’s fingers ran lightly along his back.

“Like what?” he asked, smiling.

“Anything you want,” Adam said, licking his lips and running his fingers again over the smooth skin on Kris’ back.

Kris wanted to please Adam the best that he could in the time they had left. “Okay,” he said slowly. He was trying not to blush, but he still felt his face heat up as he said, “Can I suck you off?”

Adam rolled his hips up with a quiet groan. “Wow, Kris,” he said in a shaky but amused voice. “So blunt.”

“Can I?” Kris asked again, trying to hide his embarrassment.

“Please,” Adam said with a smile. Kris sat up, licking his lips, and turned to unzip Adam’s pants. Thankfully, Adam chose to wear normal-sized jeans today, so Kris didn’t have to struggle to pull them down.

Adam lifted his hips eagerly and Kris slid his hand under his briefs, feeling along the length of his cock before pulling it out. Sitting up on his elbows, Adam hummed a quiet moan and watched Kris slowly stroke him, his thin fingers curling and squeezing. Kris glanced over at Adam, his expression unsure, and looked back down at his hand.

“Okay, tell me if I do this wrong or anything,” Kris said slowly, lowering his body and leaning his head down.

“It’s pretty hard to do it wrong,” Adam said reassuringly. Kris exhaled, licked his lips, and slid his mouth over Adam’s cock. Adam moaned, soft and needy, and Kris moved his head up and down slowly. He lifted his mouth off and ran his tongue over the shaft, wetting it, and wrapped his lips around it again. He was surprised to find that he liked the taste of it.

“Yeah,” he heard Adam breathe. He moved faster, taking it as far into his mouth as he could, soon coating Adam’s cock with saliva. He wrapped his hand around the base, moving it in time with his mouth, twisting a little. When he paused to breathe, still quickly stroking Adam with his hand, he glanced up.

“This good?” he asked, breathing heavy.

“Great,” Adam said, his eyes half-lidded, and he lifted his hips.

More confident now, Kris ran his tongue over Adam’s cock a few more times before taking it into his mouth again. He sucked on it, harder, and moved his head faster.

“Ahh, fuck,” Adam moaned loudly, a little surprised. Kris smiled, which made sucking on Adam more difficult, when Adam’s hand grabbed at a handful of his hair.

Remembering what felt good to him, Kris tried to take Adam a little deeper. He slid his mouth further, Adam’s hand lightly guiding his head down, but gagged involuntarily when it came close to the back of his mouth. He lifted his head, trying to catch his breath.

“Sorry,” he chocked out, and leaned back down to lick along the underside of Adam’s cock.

“It’s fine,” Adam said. His voice sounded an octave higher. “Don’t take it too deep.”

Kris planted a wet, open-mouthed kiss on the side of Adam’s shaft and hummed, “m-hm.” He stretched his mouth open to take Adam in again, and placed his hands over Adam’s hip bones. He could feel Adam’s breathing change. He hollowed his cheeks to suck Adam tightly in his mouth and moved faster, really enjoying the taste and feel of Adam’s cock on his tongue, despite the sore pain in his jaw from keeping his mouth open so wide.

Adam’s hands gripped Kris’ hair again, his breath more and more uneven. Kris moved as fast as he could, licking and sucking; he wanted to make Adam come. Adam made a strangled sound, and Kris felt his muscles tighten under his hands. Adam moaned louder, sounding beautiful, even though his breath was catching every few seconds and interrupting his song.

“Gonna come,” Adam gasped, and flung his hands away from Kris’ head. Kris didn’t move his mouth off; he moved faster, gripping Adam’s thighs for support. Adam thrust forward lightly as he let out another gorgeous sound, and Kris almost gagged on him again, but he didn’t. A strong taste entered Kris’ mouth, thick and salty, and Kris pushed it out quickly, reflexively. It dribbled down the length of Adam’s cock, some spilling on his stomach, and Kris tried his best not to choke. He sucked it all out, squeezing and stroking the base of Adam’s cock with his hand.

When Adam let out a satisfied “ah,” Kris slipped his mouth off, and spit more cum onto Adam’s stomach.

“Sorry. It tastes worse than I remember,” he said between breaths, and Adam laughed, soft and airy.

“Didn’t expect you to let me come in your mouth. You didn’t have to do that,” Adam said, and his head fell back onto a pillow. Kris took the opportunity to scrape as much cum off his tongue as he could, cringing at the taste.

“Did you like it?” he asked, crawling up to Adam’s side.

“Good for your first time,” Adam said, grinning. Kris leaned over to kiss him, letting his eyes fall shut. ‘I love you’ floated through his head, and he smiled happily when Adam’s mouth moved under his. He didn’t need to say it.

He reached to grab tissues from the nightstand, and handed a few to Adam.

“Did it really taste that bad?” Adam asked, mopping some cum off his stomach with a tissue.

“Well, yeah.”

Adam laughed, wiping his skin clean and tossing the dirty tissues into the trash. He looked over at Kris. “You’ll learn to like it. It’s an acquired taste.” He laughed loudly, and Kris gave a confused smile, shaking his head.

He leaned over Adam to kiss him again, slowly. Adam’s hand was already on Kris’ chest, pinching a nipple. Kris twisted his fingers around Adam’s hair, clenching a handful when Adam moved down to gently suck on it. He let Adam push him onto his back, and looked up into his bright, stunning eyes.

“What’s gonna happen after the finale?” he asked quietly.

“Whatever you want to happen. It’s up to you,” Adam said carefully.

“What about the tour?”

“It’s up to you,” Adam repeated with a shrug and smile.

“What do you want to happen?”

“I want to fuck you in your bunk on the tour bus,” Adam said, somehow making it sound sweet. Kris chuckled and kissed him, and Adam was suddenly stroking him through his pants.

“Yeah, right,” Kris said, trying to sound smug. “Like that’ll happen.”

“Oh, it’ll happen.” Adam’s hand slid under Kris’ waistband and grabbed his cock, roughly stroking.

“First of all,” Kris said, clearing his voice. It still sounded cracked. “There are gonna be five other guys on that bus.” Adam’s mouth was on Kris neck, kissing, and then biting. Kris moaned softly, moving against Adam and closing his eyes.

“Second of all?” Adam asked, moving his mouth to Kris’ chest. Kris sucked in a breath of air when Adam’s teeth scraped over his hardened nipple.

“Second of all,” he continued. “I would be fucking you in my bunk.”

“Maybe,” Adam said, his voice deeper, “maybe not.” He flicked Kris’ nipple with his tongue, earning a gasp, and kissed slowly down his stomach, still pumping his hand up and down Kris’ cock.

Adam unzipped Kris’ jeans slowly and pulled both his pants and boxers down his hips. Kris breath shook as he hurried to kick off his shoes so Adam could pull his pants off completely. Smiling, Adam leaned down and kissed Kris on his inner thigh, making him squirm. His cheek rubbed against Kris’ cock lightly as he took his time, sliding his hands up and down Kris’ hips and thighs. Kris whined, quiet but impatient, and Adam turned his head to plant a quick, dry kiss on his shaft.

“Spread your legs,” Adam said, starting to pull Kris’ thighs apart himself. Kris complied without a thought, shutting his eyes and waiting to feel Adam’s mouth on his cock. He literally jumped in surprise when he felt a cool, wet finger press against his hole.

“What the fuck?” he gasped. He struggled to quickly sit up, giving Adam a horrified look. Adam smiled crooked, his bright teeth showing as he looked up at Kris.

“It’s fine, baby,” he said, licking his lips and leaning down to suddenly run his tongue up Kris’ length. Kris groaned, letting himself fall back onto his elbows.

“Don’t stick your fingers in there or anything,” he said, a little scared.

“But you’ll love it,” Adam purred, his voice low and persuasive. “I promise.”

“No,” Kris said, shaking his head to emphasize. “And you can’t promise something like that.”

“I can, and I promise you it’ll feel good.”

“It’s exit only,” Kris said, trying to laugh a little. “Seriously, Adam.”

Adam frowned and brought his head back down. Kris felt warm breath against his cock and exhaled slowly, shutting his eyes again. Adam’s fingers were on Kris’ ass cheek, rubbing softly and making Kris very uneasy. His tongue licked over the head of Kris’ cock, smooth and warm, and Kris groaned quietly. He thought about the night before, when he had fingered Adam, and how Adam had responded to the feeling. It probably wouldn’t feel the same for him, Kris thought; he couldn’t imagine how it could feel that good.

Adam’s hand moved slowly, gradually, and his fingers were dangerously close to Kris’ entrance. Then his mouth was around Kris’ cock completely, and Kris forgot all about it. Pleasure seized his body, and he moaned as Adam mouth moved over him, up and down, sucking him deeper.

He was vaguely aware of Adam’s fingers, now rubbing and circling lightly against his hole. He didn’t notice when he spread his legs a little wider, moved a little closer to Adam’s touch. It was too much; Kris squeezed his eyes shut, grabbing at Adam’s hair.

Suddenly Adam’s mouth slid carefully off of him, and Kris watched Adam put two fingers in his mouth.

“What’re you-” was all he could manage before Adam swallowed him again. He moaned, rocking his hips a little, when Adam’s wet fingers rubbed around his hole again, a little more insistently.

“Adam,” he choked out. He had no idea what he was trying to say. His skin tingled pleasantly, and his head spun, and Adam’s mouth felt amazingly good and the slight pressure against his hole made him want a little more, and he just said it again, pathetically, “Adam.”

Adam’s lips slid gently off of him. Adam hungrily licked over his cock again before asking, “What is it?” The pressure of Adam’s wet fingers was still there, driving Kris insane with need, but he wasn’t sure at all what it was that he needed. Kris just groaned in response, bucking his hips slightly, rubbing himself against Adam’s fingers.

“You like this?” Adam said, rubbing a little harder, teasing him. Kris fell back against the pillows.

“Yeah,” he said, frustrated.

“Do you want me to put them in?” Adam had the most persuasive voice, and it sounded to Kris like the best idea in the world.

“Yeah,” he said again.

“Good,” Adam said, and Kris only had a second to be terrified before Adam’s finger slid inside of him. Kris’ chest shook with uneven breaths as the shock wore off and the feeling quickly took him over. Adam’s soon slipped in another finger, and Kris softly cried out, “Oh,” as they spread him open. His breath came in gasps and moans.

Adam’s tongue ran over his cock again, wetting it, and he took Kris into his mouth. Kris made an embarrassing sound, then another, as he rocked desperately against Adam’s fingers and mouth. Adam’s finger pressed a spot inside him that sent a sudden surge of intense pleasure through him, and Kris moaned, “ohmygod,” louder than he ever had before. Adam pressed the spot again, more deliberately, and Kris couldn’t think at all. His orgasm was building and each movement was bringing him closer, closer, even closer.

“Do you want one more?” Kris heard Adam ask. His heart jumped at the thought, and he urgently hissed, “Yes.” Suddenly he was empty, as Adam retracted his fingers and slipped them into his mouth. He soon slid them right back in, and then, slowly, he added a third finger. Kris felt himself stretching, but it felt incredible.

“Ungh,” he moaned, a little high-pitched, when Adam sucked his cock back into his mouth. It slid easily between Adam’s wet lips, and Kris came in a matter of seconds, pushing against Adam’s fingers, his body shaking and jerking involuntarily.

He heard Adam make a swallowing sound as he sucked it all out, moving his mouth hungrily.

“Fuck,” Kris mumbled to himself. Adam licked Kris’ cock clean before slowly pulling his fingers out. Kris opened his eyes, and his heart pounded in his chest. He was still panting when Adam crawled up to lay beside him.

“Good, right?” he said, and Kris heard his smile. But he had to agree because, Jesus fucking Christ, it had felt good. “Good,” he said, trying not to give Adam too much satisfaction.

“You loved it,” Adam stated happily. Kris nodded, smiling, and Adam chuckled and kissed him. “Gotta just trust me next time,” he said, grinning.

Monday morning, and the first thing that ran through Kris’ head when the alarm woke him was: two days left.

He spent the first half-hour of his morning inside of Adam, thrusting and sweating, savoring every second, every sound that Adam made underneath him. He spent the rest of the morning glancing at Adam each chance he had, and knowing that yes, he was deeply and hopelessly in love with him. Somehow, he didn’t mind as much anymore.

He watched Adam try on some clothes for the finale performances, loving the fact that he would look perfect no matter what outfit he ended up choosing. He tried on a few outfits, himself, and when Adam gave him a thumbs-up, he didn’t bother worrying any more about it. Clothes were never his thing, anyway.

After their clothes were all picked out, they met with David Cook outside, and were surprised with two brand new Fords. Kris briefly wondered if anyone else on the planet could possibly be having as good of a day as he was. It felt like it was all too much to take in; he wasn’t sure how to handle it. He didn’t have much time to process it, though; right after receiving their cars, he and Adam were rushed back to rehearsals.

The focus now was on learning the songs and performances for Wednesday’s show, the finale. Kris met up with the rest of the top 13 at the studio, and greeted them all with enthusiasm. Most of the girls, Alexis, Allison, Lil, and Megan, were squeezing Kris into tight hugs, asking him how he’s been doing.

“How is it with just you and Adam in the house?” Allison asked, smiling. Kris couldn’t look her in the eye; he was absolutely terrified that she’d catch a glimpse of the truth.

“It’s really cool,” he said, glancing around the room, eyes darting from person to person. “We missed all you guys,” he added. “It’s so empty there now.”

“Aww,” Megan cooed, and gave him another brief hug.

“Are you guys excited?” Anoop asked, addressing everyone. “This finale is gonna be awesome.”

The group chattered about performances, celebrities, songs, and Kris looked over the sheet that outlined the schedule for Wednesday night. There was so much to cover, he was getting worn out just thinking about it.

“You tired?” Allison asked, walking over to look at him carefully.

“Yeah, I’m just fine,” Kris answered, lifting his face into a smile. “A little tired, but I’m fine.”

“You must be exhausted, huh?” she asked with concern.

“I’ll be okay. Just a few more days and I can get some real sleep,” he sighed, adding another smile to ease her worry. She smiled back, bright and full of life, and it was soothing.

“Adam!” someone yelled out. Kris started to turn towards the door, but was suddenly lifted up into the air, familiar arms wrapped around his chest.

“Woah!” he squeaked, swinging his legs around until they touched the ground again. A few people laughed, and Kris caught a glace of Danny’s surprised expression.

“I take it you two are getting along great,” Matt laughed. Kris turned to Adam, unable to keep the happy smile from creeping onto his lips, and nodded a little. He was glad that Adam wasn’t afraid of acting affectionate, even with everyone else in the room.

“Where’s my hug?” Allison complained, running into Adam’s arms.

“Hey, Allie,” Adam said, holding her tight and grinning. “Jeez, I missed you!” Allison giggled as Adam pulled away to kissed her on the cheek.

“So I guess you guys aren’t getting all competitive about this after all,” Anoop stated, his face questioning.

Adam walked around, greeting everyone with a hug. “Of course not!” he said happily. “Kris and I are both winners, no matter what happens.” Kris nodded enthusiastically, adding a soft “yeah.”

It wasn’t long before most of them split up to practice their performances. Kris tried his best to cram as much into his head as he could, while still keeping tomorrow’s three songs in mind as a priority. When it was finally time to eat dinner, Kris had time to sit and think, to try and organize the jumbled mess in his head. There was so much that he had to do, so many things he had to focus on, but he couldn’t seem to keep his mind off of Adam. They had two nights, and that was it. I could very well be the last two nights they ever spend alone together. Kris couldn’t stop obsessing over it.

He should be focusing on the music, planning a winning strategy maybe. Kris hardly thought about winning. He would not be at all ashamed to come second to Adam. In all honesty, Kris had made it farther than he ever thought was possible. He’d made it to the end, and that was more than good enough for him. Of course he’d still give it his all tomorrow; it’s just the kind of guy he is. But when it came to winning, he had no doubt that Adam deserved it.

They went over the schedule for Wednesday’s show a couple dozen more times, Kris was pretty sure he had it all down, and the idols all left the studio together. Kris and Adam received more loving hugs as everyone wished them good luck, and then left to go back to the mansion.

They climbed into the van and sat close together. Kris leaned his head on Adam’s shoulder during the quiet drive, allowing himself to relax and unwind. As they arrived at the mansion, Adam’s phone buzzed in his pocket. Kris blinked slowly, watching Adam slide the phone out and check the number. He glanced at Kris, brief and apologetic, before looking back at his phone. “Drake,” he mumbled, and then picked it up.

“Hello?” Adam opened the van door and stepped out slowly. He turned, waiting for Kris to catch up with him, before walking to the entrance.

“Oh, really? Yeah, I miss you too, baby,” Adam said. Kris flinched and looked up at Adam, watching him. Adam’s arm snaked around his shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze.

“Let me know how that goes,” Adam went on. “I hope you don’t get too busy.”

“Adam,” Kris said plainly when they walked inside. Adam held up a finger. “Yeah, you should. Definitely.” Kris slouched his shoulders, walking a little faster while thinking to himself. Why would Adam need to talk to Drake like that? He walked ahead as Adam continued his conversation.

“I know, me too,” he heard Adam say as he opened the bedroom door. He sat on the edge of the bed, untying his shoes when Adam walked in after him, his phone still pressed to his ear.

“Come on, I know that. I have to go now, though.” Kris fell over, letting his heavy head rest on the pillows, and let his eyes fall shut. He didn’t have the energy to be getting worked up over this right now.

“Because I have some other stuff to do now. Sorry, I can talk to you about it later.” Kris could hear Drake’s muffled voice through the phone. It sounded like he was complaining, whining.

“A few days… Drake, you know I’m crazy busy with all this.” Adam sighed in frustration, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling at one of his boots with his free hand. “Good, I’ll talk to you then. Bye.” He snapped the phone shut in his palm and slid it back into his pocket before pulling his boots off his feet.

“Sorry about that,” he said, pushing his hair from his face and turning his head. Kris rolled over on his back, opening his eyes, and grunted in response. Adam leaned over to kiss Kris briefly, and then pulled back.

“You tired?” Adam asked. Kris grunted again, and Adam said, “Me, too.”

Kris didn’t want to have to ask, but the question wouldn’t leave him alone. “Why did you call him ‘baby’?”

Adam frowned as he slid his jacket off of his shoulders. “I don’t know. I’m sorry,” he said, sincere. Kris shut his eyes again as Adam laid himself down onto the bed. Scooting closer and putting a warm hand on Kris’ shoulder, Adam asked, “You mad?”

Kris sighed. “Nah,” he said tiredly, unmoving.

“You’re mad,” Adam said, pressing his lips briefly against the back of Kris’ neck. “I’m sorry. It just slipped out.”

Kris turned himself over, facing Adam but not looking at him, and mumbled, “Don’t call him that anymore.”

Adam chuckled lightly and then said, “Don’t have sex with your wife anymore.”

After a few seconds of stunned silence, Kris looked up and into Adam’s eyes. Adam was frowning a little, and Kris looked down again suddenly when he felt his eyes watering. Pulling Kris closer, Adam rubbed his back and nuzzled against Kris’ hair. He felt as Kris shook a little, and realized with surprise that Kris was silently crying.

“Kris,” Adam breathed, shocked. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” Kris shook his head, clinging to Adam’s shirt, and Adam waited as Kris sniffed a few times to clear his nose.

“No,” he said, a little out of breath. “Sorry. It’s not that.”

“What’s wrong?” Adam asked, stretching his neck down to reach and kiss Kris on the forehead.

“It’s stupid,” Kris said, and attempted a laugh. “It just sucks that we have to leave.”

“I know,” Adam said softly, closing his eyes. They lay there for a few more seconds, and Kris wiped the wetness from his eyes as Adam added, “But you’ll let me call you, right?”

“I’ll be calling you every day,” Kris said plainly. “And you’d better answer.”

Adam laughed. “Of course.”

“And don’t act so interested in Drake,” Kris said into Adam’s shirt. He was silent for a few seconds as Adam laughed softly and then added, “Please.”

“If he finds out, though…” Adam trailed off, thinking. Kris looked up at him, hopeful, and Adam smiled. “Alright, but I don’t want Drake getting suspicious.”

“I want you to break up with him,” Kris said. “Tell him he’s crazy if he thinks it’s because of me. Tell him I’m married, and I’m not that kind of guy.” Kris can’t help but frown to himself, because as it turns out, he is that kind of guy. The kind of guy who has an affair, who doesn’t love his wife enough to stop. As much as he hated that about himself, he’d have to come to terms with it or something, because there was just no way he could ever stop loving Adam.

“I don’t know,” Adam said. “If I start not being interested in Drake all of a sudden, and break up with him, he’d at least be suspicious. And if he ever found out, I can’t say he wouldn’t tell anyone about it. People really can’t find out about this, you know that.”

“I know,” Kris said stubbornly. “But I really don’t want you to… do anything with him. I don’t want you to be with him.”

“I want to be all yours,” Adam said. “But this is risky. I’ll see what I can do, but…”

“Thinking about him and you drives me crazy,” Kris blurted out, suddenly desperate to convince Adam. “I really can’t take it.”

Low, almost under his breath, Adam said, “How do you think I feel about you being married?”

Kris’ hands drifted to Adam’s sides, stroking his skin. “I know.”

“I’ll do what I can,” Adam said. “I promise.” He pulled Kris up a little and they shared a long, slow kiss, easing the anxiety between them. Kris slipped his tongue into Adam’s mouth, and suddenly all that mattered was that Adam was right here with him, now.

Breathing a little heavily as he pulled away, Kris smiled and asked, “Why are you so perfect?”

Adam grinned, and his hands slid easily down under Kris’ pants to squeeze his ass. “Why are you so gorgeous?”

Kris was so grateful all of a sudden, as he looked into Adam’s makeup-smeared eyes. “I love you,” he sighed happily, only to feel himself blush immediately after hearing himself say it. Thankfully, Adam helped his embarrassment fade by kissing him lovingly, his thumb stroking Kris’ cheek.

“That’s good,” Adam said, and then laughed a little. He moved to suck on Kris’ ear, and Kris’ pants were uncomfortably tight. His hands started to work on Adam’s belt, and he soon pulled them down off Adam’s hips. “Wanna fuck you,” he said against Adam’s cheek, his eyes closed.

“I would object,” Adam said, a smile in his voice. “But I’ll let you have your way this time. Don’t want to do anything that could throw you off for the show tomorrow.” He helped Kris pull his pants off, and kicked them off his legs.

“Pfft, sure,” Kris laughed, tugging his own pants off before reaching over the edge of the bed to grab the small bottle of lube Adam kept there. He climbed on top of Adam eagerly as Adam flashed him a warm smile and said, “I love you, too.”

“You better,” Kris said, and kissed Adam hard. He spread the slick lubricant over his cock and pushed into Adam gently, wishing it could stay this way forever.
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PostSubject: Re: Exciting Game   Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:20 am

Chapter thirteen


Kris watched as Adam painted his fingernails a shiny blue.

“So you’re going with blue for the finale?” he asked.

“I’m tired of black.” Adam said simply. Kris leaned against the wall, trying not to remember that it was almost over. He quietly hummed the beginning to “Ain’t No Sunshine,” as Adam finished and twisted the cap shut.

“Nervous?” Adam asked, catching him by surprise. He nodded a little, because yeah, he really was nervous as hell. Even though they’d already done a couple dozen shows, there was more pressure than ever to sing well tonight. He wasn’t sure how well he would be able to cope if Adam wasn’t here going through it with him.

Adam chuckled and threw an arm around Kris’ shoulder, careful not to touch anything with his wet nails. “You’re such a Gemini,” he said, and leaned close to press his lips against Kris’ jaw line.

“What does that mean?” Kris asked.

“Geminis tend to be nervous and sort of tense,” Adam said. “But it’ll all be fine, don’t worry so much about it.”

“And what about Aquarius?”

“What about them?” Adam asked, amused.

“Well you’re an Aquarius, right? So what are they like?”

“Um,” Adam started, thinking. “We’re strong-willed.”

“Of course you are,” Kris laughed. “So you really think your astrology sign describes you?”

“Yeah,” Adam said. “It fits me pretty much perfectly. Yours fits you well, too. You should look it up.”

“Nah,” Kris said, waving his hand dismissively. “I don’t really believe in all that stuff.” Adam shrugged.

“And I don’t need to learn about my personality, anyway,” Kris added. “I think I already know what I’m like.”

Adam laughed, nodding slightly. “Suit yourself. It’s pretty cool, though.”

“I’m about to sing in front of millions of people. That gives me a pretty good reason to be nervous, right? I don’t think I’m nervous because the stars are lining up a certain way or something like that.”

“Fair enough,” Adam said, smiling bright. “Let’s just do our best to put on a good show for everyone. We’re not competing, right?”

Kris nodded. “Most of the voters already have their minds made up, anyway.” He knew there was little chance of him actually winning, but he’d never say so to Adam.

----

They spent most of the day rehearsing for tomorrow’s show; there was so much more to do then. Adam was rehearsing with Kiss while Kris met with Keith Urban to practice their duet of “Kiss A Girl.” He was a little star-struck at first, but he was mostly just amazed and grateful that he had the opportunity to perform with famous people.

Everything was always moving so fast, Kris didn’t often have time to stop and look around lately. He sometimes thought about his life just a year ago. It was so different, everything had changed. It was a little scary. He hardly felt like the same person that he was back then; a newlywed student who had a passion for music. Now, on Idol, music was his entire life, and everything else seemed secondary.

And he was still nervous. Really nervous. About the show, about his life, his future, everything. He was finally adjusted to his new life on Idol with Adam, and it was all being yanked out from underneath him now. Everything was uncertain after tonight; it would all go one way or another. He could win or lose; his relationship with Adam could continue or fade out. He didn’t want to have to face all of the changes yet, he wasn’t ready. He wanted to be sure of himself, but he wasn’t sure of anything at all. The uncertainty was so uncomfortable he could barely stand it.

He and Adam met up with Brian May a little while later to practice “We Are the Champions.” It was completely surreal when Kris walked in and saw him standing there, holding his guitar and smiling right at him. Adam was more excited than he was, though. “I’m such a huge fan,” Adam started, walking towards him with wide eyes.

“Likewise,” was all Brian May said, still with his friendly smile.

Adam swallowed and said, “Wow.”

Rehearsing with Brian May and singing with Adam was way more exciting than Kris had thought it would be. He was actually a little upset when they had to leave. But at least he was feeling a lot better about performing now.

----

He looked over at Adam, about an hour before they’d be on stage, and wondered what he was feeling. His bright eyes were as cheerful as always, and Kris couldn’t tell at all if there was anything underneath it. He was about to walk over to him when his cell phone vibrated in his pocket, just once; it was a text. He pulled his phone out and saw it was from Katy: “Good luck baby!!”

Kris sat back in his chair as his makeup artist started powdering his face. He typed back a quick reply, “Thanks,” and tried to calm his nerves. He noticed Adam looking over at him and it was very easy for him to smile.

----

He and Adam stood on stage while Ryan enthusiastically explained to the audience what the show tonight would be like. Kris’ thoughts were a jumbled mess again. “Kiss A Girl” was still playing in his head, and he couldn’t seem to make it go away. The stage lights were bright and hot. He was sweating already and the show had barely started.

During the commercial, Adam called out “heads” while Ryan flipped a coin, and it landed on tails. Kris bit his lip for a second, but Adam gave him an indifferent look, so he shrugged and said “I’ll go second.” He preferred that Adam went first. Watching him didn’t exactly make Kris feel more confident, but it at least got him in the right mindset to perform.

Adam singing “Mad World” was a little spooky. The fog and lights, and Adam’s long trench coat. Kris was smiling huge the whole time. Adam’s voice gave him chills.

The judges seemed to really like it. Simon thought it was too theatrical, and Kris couldn’t not scoff to himself. It’s Adam, what the hell had he been expecting?

Then they played Kris’ clip and he walked on stage to sit at the piano. “Ain’t No Sunshine” was his favorite song that he’d sang during the season, and it was nice and familiar. He was glad he’d decided to begin his set with it. When he started singing, he felt great. He knew exactly what he was doing here. He felt much more comfortable once the song ended. There was a rush of noise and applause, and he smiled. The judges loved it, and Simon said that Kris had won “round one.”

Kris wasn’t sure why he’d been so nervous about performing earlier. He loved singing and playing music, and he was great at it. He’d felt at home at the piano. Now he felt stupid for doubting himself so much.

The next songs he and Adam had to sing were the ones that Simon Fuller had chosen. Adam had on a nice light gray suit and a blue tie when he sang “A Change Is Gonna Come,” and it was definitely one of his best performances yet. Kris had walked back stage for a minute to get ready while Adam was being judged, but he’d later heard that Paula said it was the best she’d ever heard him sing.

He grabbed his guitar and went on stage to play “What’s Going On.” It was easy enough now that the initial anxiety had faded. Everyone seemed to like it, but Simon and Randy thought it was too light for the finale show. Kris didn’t mind at all, he was feeling great. Being on stage just filled him with energy. His smile didn’t falter at all when Simon announced that Adam had undoubtedly won “round two.”

As soon as the commercial break started, Kris looked around for Adam. He needed to be near him, just for a little while. Adam was looking for him, too, and grinned when they caught sight of each other. He leaned down and hugged Kris, warm and tight, happily whispering against his ear, “Great job.”

“You too, man,” Kris said back. The adrenaline of performing was still making his heart pound.

“No Boundaries” now, and anyone could tell Kara was ecstatic that they were about to sing her song. Kris had never been crazy about it, but at least it wasn’t a bad song. It related to his whole experience on Idol, sort of, but the line “You can go deeper” reminded him of something Adam had breathlessly whispered against his lips just last night. He’d just have to try not to think about that.

Adam sang it first. As he always tended to do, Kris watched Adam intently, his mouth slightly hanging open. Everything Adam did on stage was powerful. He did great, obviously, and the judges seemed to like it well enough. Simon commented, “I genuinely believe we have found a worldwide star in you,” and Kris nodded to himself, agreeing whole-heartedly. Adam had fans all over the world already; he had been getting all sorts of fan mail from just about everywhere.

Somehow, Kris didn’t really mind that Adam was such a hard act to follow. He was still pumped. He just tried to focus on doing his best, putting on a good show. It felt great when he could stand on the stage and just sing, as loud and hard as he wanted. The judges were a little more enthusiastic about his version; they thought it suited his voice better than Adam’s, which gave Kris a confidence boost that he kind of needed. Just so he didn’t feel completely unworthy of standing in next to Adam Lambert in the final two.

It was a huge relief when the show finally came to a close. A lot less to think about now that it was done and over with. Unfortunately, Kris couldn’t run back to the comfort of his Idol mansion home like he really wanted to; he and Adam had interviews to go to now. So many interviews.

Kris hid his exhaustion and talked with all the reporters, mostly just repeating, “Yeah, we both did our best. We’re not really competing.” It irked him that nobody seemed to believe him.

He and Adam met up with Paula a little later, like they usually did right after a show, and she smiled up at them both, talking in strings of flattering compliments. Kris smiled and nodded along as she spoke, and Paula pulled them both into a hug.

“I love you,” she said, sounding like a proud mother, and Kris smiled again as she kissed his cheek. Adam leaned over quickly and kissed him, too, right on his ear, and Kris froze. Hopefully there were no cameras around. He needed to remind Adam later that he needed to have a little more restraint.

After about 20 more interviews, Kris was still thinking about it. He could still feel Adam’s lips on his ear. Maybe it wasn’t so bad; they were really good friends, after all. It could send a message to people that it’s fine to be comfortable and have a good friendship with someone who’s gay. After thinking it over a few times, he decided what the hell, if anyone cares that he and Adam care about each other then that’s just their problem.

He soon ended up talking about Adam, a lot. And when he actually caught sight of Adam, he ran up and hugged him from behind.

“Ah!” Adam yelled happily. “I’m talking about you!”

“I’m talking about you!” Kris yelled back over the noise of the interviewers and cameras. Adam turned around and hugged him back, rocking them back and forth for a few seconds, but Kris could have stayed that way for much longer, just breathing in Adam’s smell. He was feeling a little shy about being this way while they were surrounded by the media, but he knew most people wouldn’t be seriously suspicious of anything.

“You tired?” Adam asked softly into his ear before pulling away to look at him, holding him by the shoulders.

“Yeah,” Kris said, trying not to smile as hard as he was. “Are you?”

“Yeah,” Adam said back, openly grinning. “I’m exhausted. Are you dizzy? Dizzy-tired?”

Even though Adam had said he was exhausted, he seemed really energetic, and Kris was feeding off of it. “I’m great,” Kris answered as Adam started shaking him excitedly. Kris looked up at him and added, “You did great. Congratulations.” Adam quickly pulled him forward for another tight hug.

A while later that night, Kris and Adam were standing at a microphone answering questions about songs and their experiences on the show. It was one of the last interviews, and Kris was thankful it was almost over. He was tired.

“Weren’t you roommates?” one reporter questioned.

“Well,” Kris began, looking over at Adam. “We’ve been roommates since… the top thirteen.” Adam nodded along and agreed.

“Are you still sharing a room?” someone else asked.

“Not right now,” Kris answered, unable to get the nervous smile off of his face.

“For the past month we’ve had our own space,” Adam added.

“Who’s sexier naked?” A young reporter yelled out suddenly. Kris inwardly panicked a little, but laughed at the question. He tried to clear his throat to answer, but just laughed again with a shrug, and rubbed his eyes. He didn’t even know how to respond to that.

Adam stood calmly. “We don’t get naked together, sorry,” he answered, amused.

The reporters laughed loudly, and Kris calmed down the best that he could. “That would not be good,” he added, feeling like he should verify Adam’s statement.

----

Finally they were able to head back to the mansion. It would be their last night there, and Kris felt like he was drained of every ounce of his energy. He wanted to collapse on the bed and just sleep.

When they sat in the van, Adam was looking as tired as Kris felt. They dragged themselves into the mansion and down the halls into their bedroom. Kris fell onto the bed and hunched over, reaching to untie his shoes as Adam walked straight into the bathroom to wash his face. Kris pulled off his pants and crawled under the sheets. The sound of the water running could have easily put him to sleep.

“You tired?” Kris asked, even though the answer was obvious. He wasn’t sure why he’d asked it; maybe to keep himself awake. His eyes kept closing without his consent.

“Yeah,” Adam mumbled, wiping his face dry. He flicked the bathroom light off, and then the bedroom light. Kris listened as Adam made his way over to the bed, pulling off his clothes along the way. He slid in under the sheets, and Kris rolled onto his side to be closer to him.

“Wish I wasn’t so tired,” he muttered, and Adam hummed in response, sounding like he was sleeping already. Kris ran his fingertips over Adam’s smooth, naked shoulder, and Adam moved clumsily closer and kissed him, moving his lips slowly.

Kris wished they had more time. There was so much he wanted to figure out with Adam. What would they do after tomorrow? Just go back to their lives as they were before? Kris wasn’t sure if it was possible for him. He sighed tiredly moved his mouth over Adam’s, just as slowly. Adam’s lips were still on his when he drifted into much-needed sleep.

----

“This is it,” Adam said softly. Kris opened his eyes and blinked slowly. The sun was shooting through the window, outlining the shape of Adam’s head with a white glow. Adam was squinting tiredly, leaning over him, and Kris asked let himself wake up for a few more seconds before asking, “What time is it?”

“Seven,” Adam mumbled, moving closer to press his lips against Kris’ cheek.

“Shoot.” They had to get up. Kris had meant to set the alarm earlier so that he and Adam could properly enjoy their last morning here.

“C’mon,” Adam grunted, lifting himself up and stretching his arms. “We gotta get ready.”

“I’m not ready to leave,” Kris mumbled, and shut his eyes again. Was this really the last time they’d lay in bed together?

“I know,” Adam sighed, falling back down onto his pillow.

Kris rolled over and threw an arm over Adam’s body. “Let’s meet somewhere,” he started, watching Adam closely. “A few weeks from now. Like a hotel or something.”

Adam’s blue eyes were locked with his, and Kris swallowed nervously. “You know that won’t work. What will you tell your wife?”

“Does it matter?” Kris argued. “I need to be able to see you.” Adam clearly had no idea how addicted Kris had become. Didn’t Adam want to see him too?

“Okay,” Adam agreed, smiling. He looked glad. “We can figure something out.”

Kris let out a relieved breath, and leaned closer to kiss him lovingly. Then he paused. “Do you want to?” he asked carefully.

“What?” Adam asked, confused. “Of course I do.”

“Just wanted to make sure this isn’t one-sided,” Kris said, laughing lightly.

“Don’t be stupid, you know I love you.”

Kris’ stomach fluttered at the words, and he kissed Adam again. “You, too.”

“Now get up,” Adam laughed, messing Kris’ hair.

Kris climbed on top of him and sat on his stomach, leaning down over him to plant a wet kiss on the side of his neck. He moved his hips teasingly.

“Stop that,” Adam laughed, and shoved him off. “Today is the biggest night of your life. Go get ready!” He climbed out of bed, pulling Kris along with him.

----

Rehearsals that day went just like they had every other day. Kris’ heart rate couldn’t seem to calm down, though. Everywhere he went and everything he did all day seemed to keep on reminding him, this is it. Most of his rehearsing was repetitive, but he put more into it now. It was his last day on Idol, he had to give it his all.

Everyone from the top 13 was there, walking around and chatting and singing. Some of the celebrity guests were around, too. Kris spotted Steve Martin walking by and considered getting his autograph. He didn’t want it that bad, he decided. Out of all the musicians and singers here, the only autograph that he really cared enough to ask for was one from Brian May. Maybe he’d ask later.

Every single person that Kris had worked with during the season found him at some point during the day and wished him luck. The stylists made him try on all his outfits to make sure nothing was wrong. Kris had mostly given up on picking each and every set of clothes he’d wear. Was it possible to wear this many clothes all in one show? He checked his face over at least ten times to make sure he hadn’t missed anything while shaving. Did his fingernails look okay?

Later, Adam was standing next to him as the show was about to start. Kris shut his eyes, thinking, this is it.

“Can you believe this?” Adam asked in an excited whisper.

Kris smiled and shook his head. “Oh, man.”

“We’re here. Right now. This is…” Adam trailed off and laughed quietly. They both knew there was no fitting way to finish that sentence.

“I’m trying to stay present. I want to be able to remember this later, you know?” Kris’ thoughts were all spinning. He needed to focus now.

“Yeah,” Adam said, and Kris looked up at him. His makeup looked good.

“You ready?” Adam asked, and something in his expression seemed off.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“I wish I could kiss you,” Adam said lowly, moving closer to bump their shoulders together. Kris cringed and shut his eyes. This is it.

When it was time to go on stage Kris could barely hear the cheering over the pounding in his ears; less like a thud and more like an explosion about three times each second. He could do this, he’d been doing it all season. He let his thoughts stop gathering up, and tried to just enjoy himself. None of this really mattered.

There wasn’t much of the finale that Kris could clearly recall, but “We Are the Champions” was something he’d never forget. The music and the stage, and the feeling that ran through his body as he sang. The sound of his own voice mixing with Adam’s, and the way Adam was looking at him. It was a perfect moment, if one existed.

It was a little hard for Kris to push himself back into reality once the song was over. The results were going to be announced soon. The show would finally come to an end. This is it, Kris thought frantically. He didn’t need to get worked up over the results; they didn’t matter. But he was driving himself a little crazy wondering about it. What if Adam didn’t win? What if Kris won, and Adam had to stand on the side of the stage, clapping politely? Nothing about that picture seemed right, and Kris knew things wouldn’t turn out that way. But still.

He tucked himself under Adam’s arm and they huddled close. The lights dimmed and Adam was squeezing his shoulder. It wouldn’t matter, the results didn’t matter. Kris watched Ryan’s mouth as he spoke; he dragged out every syllable of every word.

“The winner… of American Idol 2009 is…”

Everything was quiet.

This is it, this is it.

“Kris Allen!” Ryan yelled, and Kris thought, ‘Oh.’

The screams were so loud now Kris could hear his ear canals vibrating; it tickled. Was this really happening?

His face was pressed into Adam’s jacket now, and Kris didn’t really know what to do. He just smiled as Adam happily shook him, laughing. When Adam let him go he shook his head in disbelief. His eyes were practically bugging out of his head.

“Adam Lambert, ladies and gentlemen,” Ryan announced, gesturing for Adam to leave the stage now. Adam was all smiles as he congratulated Kris proudly and waved to the audience. He should have won. He deserved it. Kris felt terrible.

“You have just won American Idol, bro,” Ryan said into the microphone, his hand clutching Kris’ shoulder. He could probably feel Kris shaking.

“Are you serious?” Kris yelled out over the noise, not knowing how to act. He didn’t want to seem ungrateful, but…

“I’m serious,” Ryan laughed. Kris took a step backwards and smiled, yelling out again, “Are you friggin’ serious?”

Ryan was saying things like “the underdog” and “the dark horse,” and Kris’ mind was just everywhere. Where were his parents? Where was Katy? What will they think of all this?

“How does it feel?” Ryan asked, pointing his microphone at him.

“It feels good, man,” Kris answered, holding up his own microphone, too, without thinking. “But, uh… Adam deserves this-”

“Kris!” Ryan yelled. “More enthusiasm! Please!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Kris yelled back, tripping over all of his words. “I don’t even know what to feel right now!” He felt like Adam should have still been standing next to him. He just deserved it. Kris was happy about winning and everything, but he didn’t like being singled out as “the winner.” He was just as talented as everyone else who had made it far on the show. He just… he wasn’t expecting this.

A woman walked up and handed Kris a huge trophy of a microphone. It was heavy. Katy and his parents were looking at him, clapping and smiling, and so was Adam.
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